Kira was looking at Shizu who was conversing with Yui Shidoh. That morning he just got out from the hospital after being hospitalized for two days. He actually did not have to be hospitalized for that long but he was feeling so bad he felt that he might start drinking alcohol again to forget his sadness. He swore himself to quit seeking comfort from women as it only made him feel worse.
Lust? What lust? No girl could satisfy him on the bed and he knew that. He was suffering from insomnia; sex drained his negative energy and orgasms somehow helped him to empty his mind so that he could sleep.
He once hooked up with an AV (adult video) model. It was one hell of a steamy and wild sex, the girl was screaming and moaning under him while he was pounding her. But whenever he closed his eyes he would only see her face. 'She's not her..' He stopped himself in the middle of their love-making, helplessly fell on his knees to beg for apology, quickly dressed up then ran to the nearest bar. He drank till blacked out. He hated how she broke his heart, he also hated himself, hated how he allowed himself to be so broken.
Alcohol and women, the things he did to forget his heartache. Between the two options, of course he preferred alcohol. He knew the two were bad for him, but what else could he do? Good thing, the twins always kept their eyes on him so he didn't associate himself with drugs.
'We won't stop you from fucki'ng your liver and di'ck. You'll be fine as a eunuch and rich enough to afford the hospital bill for the rest of your life.'
'But no drugs, we like you too much we will hate to see you go retarded.' Kuran and Moreno once said.
The two of them would go wherever he went. They were present in all of his jackpot moments, carried him when he passed out. Drank with him. Set him up with girls. Stocked him up with condoms. And even waited for him in the morning to pick him up from the hotel. The twins were the only reason he didn't approach drugs. They might be assholes to the world but he would never betray them.
When he was in the hospital, he ignored all of the phone calls from Erika Itoh, she was trying so hard to reach him that he turned off his phone. He just wanted to be left alone. He needed to organize his thoughts. He was planning to go far with Kumo Bell but first of all he would need to make peace with his mind. With all of this emotional bagage that he carried, what kind of deal he would make with himself? He still didn't know, he had been asking himself the same question for 2 years. He ran away from her, but she rejected him first!
Now that Shizu reappeared before him he could no longer turn a blind eye. He had to make a decision. She hurt him. He was angry and hated her. The image of her saying that she was tired of his celebrity life kept haunting him. It took him some days before he was finally ready to contact her again.
He remembered how his hands were trembling when he realized that she cut all of communication means. It was such a big blow to his gut when she blocked his phone number. Not only that, he saw her blocked him on all his social media. All of their pictures together were gone, there was no trace of their relationship at all. 'I never wanted any of this!' Her voice was echoing in his head.
If only he could scream all of his frustration to her. But what could he do? Now he didn't have to do anything and people were already bashing her. Did he feel better? Nope, this throbbing pain clouded his chest but he believed that it was for the best. He really had to think! Time out! From everyone!
But Erika Itoh could not accept the time out. She was feeding herself with the thought of Shizu eloping with Kira. 'All of his misery came from that nameless nobody!!' She was blaming Shizu for Kira's alcohol and sex addiction. She was working so hard to be a girl that can stand on the spotlight with Kira. Now that nameless girl was back in his sight, did she want to make his life more miserable!? 'How dare she!' She was the only one who could make him happy! She made a call after call to Kira but he wouldn't answer her.
Hatred and rage grew in Erika Itoh. Unable to contact him, she was calling Natsu the manager and terrorizing him to pass the call to Kira. She was screaming and started to threaten Natsu so that he would tell her where Kira was.
Knowing that Erika Itoh started calling Natsu, Kira asked his manager not to take a single call from her. However to his surprise, Natsu tried to convince him to meet her. As the result, Kira slammed Natsu's phone to the floor then kicked him out of his room.
Of course he apologized to Natsu the next day. He explained to Natsu that he really needed a peace of mind. Everything had been so stressful for him and Erika Itoh did not make things easier.
Natsu didn't take it personally. Anyone could tell that Kira had changed so much in 2 years. The chatty and friendly Kira was closing himself and prefered to spend some time alone. He lost tremendous weight and became more emotional. Fortunately he still had good self control in front of the public. Even though he had always denied it, Kumo Bell knew what caused his emotional instability. The only blessing that came from his breakdown was that he was able to write songs that were greatly accepted by the public.
Remember the song that he wrote about the impossibility of a relationship between a superstar and an ordinary girl? That topped the chart for the whole month, beating many Japan top singers and also DazzLing, the 5-membered South Korean boyband who was starting to enter the Japanese market. They were also the juniors of GreenEast. That's how Kumo Bell got their ticket to Cheerful Youth.
Kira Atsui was the most popular member in Kumo Bell. He was well known for his attractive face, gentleman demeanor, beautiful voice and the brilliant lyricist-composer behind Kumo Bell's success. He wrote many love songs that touched thousands of hearts but no one knew that those beautiful songs cost him everything.
Kuran tapped Kira's shoulder to bring him back from the dreamland, he eyed the entrance. Following the twin's gaze, Kira turned his head to the entrance and saw Erika Itoh entered the studio. He took a deep sigh.
"You kissed her, Kira." Sano the keyboardist reminded him. He gave Kira a light punch on the shoulder.
Kira sucked his lips in and diverted his gaze from her. Yeah, he should settle things once and for all with Erika. He knew that Erika was actually a good girl, she was just worried about him and been trying to help him with his depression. He just had to be frank with her.
"Kira!" She greeted him with a bright smile, she was satisfied that she finally saw him after using all necessary means to find his schedule.
Kira forced a smile then bowed his head politely to Erika, after all she was still his friend.