"A-chooo!" I sneezed while wiping a weird-looking jar with a label "Good Luck Charm".
"These things don't work." I thought. So carefully, I placed it back on its wooden case. Yesterday, before she left to check on another land Antoine owned, Hermana* Auring asked me to clean the basement. I woke up early so I decided to start immediately.
(Spanish term for "sister")
"Frog's Skin". I read on another bottle. "And "Lucky Rabbit's Foot. Well, the rabbit isn't that lucky, I guess."
I never expected that Antoine's family kept these stuffs for what seemed like centuries already. I reached for a vial with a big warning sign of a skull that is labelled as "Love Potion". I shrugged my shoulders and read the instructions printed at its back.
"Use with extreme caution. This could be lethal in large quantities."
"Upon overdose, make the victim smell a North Pole cockroach leg for ten minutes."
Suddenly, I heard a loud thud of pans and silver wares falling from above.
"Yaiiks!" I blurted out, accidentally dropping the darn vial on the floor. So quickly, I smelled the pungent odor coming from the small bottle, making me feel so dizzy. Within a minute, I fell asleep and dreamed about rainbows and candy clouds.
Falalalala!
"Bianca..."
Falalala...love...
"Bianca..." Someone was tugging the sleeve of my shirt when the weird music and song subsided inside my head. I saw a very handsome man sitting beside me. He took the towel from my forehead and rinsed it with water. As he was about to place it back on me, I pulled his collar, making him fall over me.
"Marry me now and we'll live happily ever after!" I blurted out with so much aggressiveness I could barely control. I embraced him so tightly that I could feel his breathing over mine. "Kiss me, lover boy."
"A-Are you sure?" he asked nervously.
"No! Duh?" I replied, finally coming back to my senses. "Why am I saying this? Hahahahaha!" I roared in laughter.
"How do you feel?" He gently removed my hands from gripping him and assisted me to sit up.
"Oooh..feelings...I love it! I love you, Antoine...bah! Mmmph...Haha!" I covered my mouth yet it kept mumbling "I love you". "Why am I laughing so hard? It makes me want to fart you know."
"Maybe I should run away before you fart."
"I am not farting!" I snarled. "Hahaha...but my tummy feels funny! I am as bloated as a porcupine fish right now. Hahaha!" I inflated my cheeks to imitate that cute spiky fish. "Ouchie!" I tapped my abdomen several times and winced. "It hurts. Is this the Love Potion's effect?
"I'm afraid, yes."
"How long will this be? Do we have an antidote, please?" I desperately asked.
"Yes. I made you sniff another drug. Please bear with the side effects."
"Oh. You made me smell that North Pole cockroach leg. Now, I feel terrible." I complained.
"I'm really sorry about that. But don't worry, you're doing great." he attempted to comfort me. "Some patients needed to be tied up as they tend to attack and bite their caretakers. You don't. You are such a gentle lady."
"In fact, I don't want to bite you. I want to kiss you right now, Antoine. Eeek! What was that? Stop me! My teeth are grinding right now! No! No! No! Never!" I held on to the wooden chair and bit it as my urge to kiss him was so strong. I'd rather eat the chair than kiss him.
"Bianca..."
"Mmmm?" I answered with my teeth still on the wood.
"That tastes terrible. I know because of a dare."
"OK. I might just bite you! Bwahaha! But I really want to kiss you! I don't want to but I want to! Hahaha!"
"Do I need to hide?" he asked. "I'm getting scared, Bianca. Come. Let that poor chair go.
"I'm the one who should be scared, silly, silly boy. I badly wanted to kiss your heavenly lips...ROARRR! Daddy! I did not say that! I didn't! Do something! This is getting out of hand. Of all people, why is it you that I want to kiss? Terrible!"
"Kissing me does not sound terrible at all." he said sheepishly while blinking a couple of times.
"ANTOINE STA. MARIA!"
"I'm sorry. Let us have lunch. You might feel better if you eat."
"I don't want to. I'm so scared!"
"You have not eaten anything yet. I cooked rice porridge and boiled sweet potatoes for you."
I took the seashell lampshade and stroke its detailed design. "Why does this one look so sexy....ooh..." I gave it a quick peck. And that one too..." I jumped out of bed, slid under a huge cabinet and pulled something white and shiny.
"Stop! That's the chamber pot!"
"I don't care. I need to kiss something!" I said like a mad person as I opened it. "Nobody appreciates you but I do. Really."
I will kiss anything and anyone except Antoine Sta. Maria!
He grabbed the chamber pot and put it inside a drawer. Without saying a word, he held me by the waist and at the back of my knees. So swiftly, he carried me in his arms. The urge to kiss him was completely changed with the desire to bask in his warmth. I closed my eyes and leaned my head on his chest. His heartbeat sounds so beautiful to my ears.
"Now, you won't have the chance to kiss me or anything. Hopefully?" he told me with his usual sweetness.
"I'm floating!" I happily squealed. "Hahaha! You are just my knight in shining armour! I love being carried this way! Yipee! Weee!"
"Do you feel better now?"
"A little. My ribs hurt because I laugh a lot. I feel like I'm being too honest and tactless. And, I laugh for no reason. Hahaha! It's so embarrassing." I said while covering my face. "Hahaha....I'm on a high! Yahoo! Yabadabadoo!"
He laughed softly.
"Your laughter is so contagious. I should never say this but I want to see you this joyful."
"Hahaha! I don't know if I should be happy. Will you carry me this way until we're ninety?"
"If my back will allow me, why not? Maybe I should drink more calcium from now on." He stopped walking and stared at me with so much wondering. He smiled shyly. "Do you want to be with me until we're ninety? Honestly?"
"Of course! Even up to a hundred! I can't see anybody carrying me like this. OMG! Don't get the wrong impression! It sounds like we're a couple. But we're not a couple...but who knows someday we might be and we'll have an adorable family! Mommy! Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do! Hahaha! Forget that I said that! Hahaha!"
"I will never forget that." he muttered seriously.
"Forget it! Hahaha!"
"No."
"You will. Hahaha!"
"I won't. " he told me as he made me sit on a chair. He took the pot from the stove and placed it on the table. His silence makes me uneasy and he soon noticed it.
"Is paranormal the only genre you've read about?" he started the conversation while pouring soup on my bowl.
"Well, I've read action, fantasy, a little of romance...with SPG. Eeek! Oh no....why did I say that? How embarrassing! Just a little when I was fourteen."
"What is SPG?" he pulled a chair and sat beside me.
"Strict Parental Guidance."
"That does not sound nice."
"Hey! It's not what you think!" I tried to explain. "I've only read about one...no...alright...five novels!" I said nervously. I covered my face with the table cloth as I was blushing really bad. "I'm so evil! I'm having my epic embarrassing moment! Why am I saying all of these to you? Stop me, I beg you."
"It's alright. I've been a teenager too and also did some embarrassing things." he comforted me. "I won't tell anybody. Promise."
Worried that he might think of me as a liberated woman, I let my cursed lips do the talking.
"OK. I have read some stuffs that should not be read by fourteen year olds. I was swayed by those posted in social media and what my female classmates were chatting about. They sent me links. Curiosity won over so I have read some chapters of those possessive series with playboys and bad boys lurking everywhere. Rich, handsome men with gorgeous bodies, you know the abs...wow...and etc.! Some of those leading men even remind me a lot of your friend Mariano. That fool is scorching hot, if he only knew! He looks like an underwear male model whose billboard can stop traffic instantly. Oh, Mommy! Don't tell him that I told you that! Bwahaha! Huhuhu! Hahaha! But he really is! What a sexy guy!"
"He must never know." Antoine said while squinting his eyes. To my surprise, he seemed greatly annoyed, bending the silver spoon he was holding. "I will definitely forget that you said that."
"And you know what, my friend, these authors are superb to describe those adult things!" I continued. "But, how naughty! Hahaha! I had nothing against them but I think their books should be read by eighteen year olds and up. If you only knew, they even describe the length, the width and the shape! How can they tell? Do they have a ruler? A tape measure? Holy cow! If they can only tell the weight they will! Do those out of this world men really exist? Hahaha!"
I almost choked on the sweet potato I swallowed, suddenly remembering something.
Yes. They do exist and he is sitting beside me.
Just minus the playboy and bad boy parts. He is a heavenly saint as compared to those men. But he can be one hell of a warrior when fighting evil entities and his exceptional strength is undeniable.
I looked at him and saw his lips parted a little, like he was shocked beyond words. His sudden shift on his seat made me think that he got uncomfortable with what I was telling him. I got so ashamed of my casual and tactless way talking about those things because even though he is as tame as a sheep, he is still a male.
"Oh...hahaha...sorry...I forgot you're a boy." I giggled while playing with my hair.
"I've noticed that you always forget." he said with a grin. His eyes widened a bit. "Isn't that a bad thing?"
"Oh! Bwahaha...no...not at all! Well...yes...I mean...no! I have no sisters to speak with, maybe that's why I act like this. Men like you are good listeners, for your information. Going back to my topic, make no mistake, OK? I am a wholesome one! Not a girl gone wild! Like, grrr! No way! I am not like that! I even regret reading those SPGs at such a young age. Just part of teenage curiosity, I guess? In fact, I'm also so curious how you spent your teenage years because that's the part of your life I know little of. I can be really talkative, you know. I can barely catch my breath! Hahaha! I haven't talk this way for a very long time and I'm somehow grateful for this moment. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Sorry, I sound like a parrot now. Hello! Hello! Hello! Aaak!" I imitated the sound of a parrot so perfectly.
"You can tell me anything. No worries." he assured me while restraining a laugh. He soon gestured me with his hand for me to continue.
"I was quick to stop reading those stuffs. Not just for me. I wanted more action and gore! The bloodier, the better! Bwahahaha! Aswangs*, vampires, werewolves, demons, ghosts, and hauntings! Documentaries on scariest places on earth too! I love those! Maybe one day I will visit the Chillingham Castle. Events and beings that give chills make my day! Well, as long as they don't disturb my sleep and hurt me they're super fine. Hahaha!"
(In Philippine folklore, a shapeshifting monster who eats human flesh)
"I can tell. I have read the part of the book when I killed a werewolf who eats children for good. You seemed to enjoy narrating it."
"I did! But I wrote about you not because of the bloody scenes. I always knew that your character would be different."
"Do you think so?" he said tilting his head a little and giving me such a charming smile. "I must be flattered."
"Hmmm...you should be!" I said with a pout. "Always be humble and stay a gentleman, OK? Never make girls cry. Do you know the saying that a real man is measured by the size of his girlfriend's or wife's smile? Not the size of his...pfft...eh...mmph...sshh...brrr... Yaiiks!" I covered my mouth again. "Mmmmmm...eeek..."
"Wallet? Size of his wallet." he was quick to say while shifting uncomfortably on his seat again while pulling his shirt down.
"Wallet! Yes! Yes! You are so smart!" I commended him as I was relieved that the inappropriate word never came out of my mouth or else, I would have to hide myself from Antoine for years. "Eh? Why did you pull your shirt down when I've already seen everything in you? Well, a little blurry but I can truly say that you are glorious! Don't you know that your body is pure perfection? Oh no! No! No! Don't answer!"
My tactless and malicious mouth was so out of control that I was tempted to drink another drug to make me sleep for eternity. His reaction was like a bewildered cat showered with ice-cold water.
"Bianca, I will try to forget that you said that."
"I did not mean it. I'm so sorry. I don't want this." I became teary-eyed as my situation was giving me a record-breaking humiliation and so much guilt for being such trouble for him. I held on to his arm. "Forgive me, please. And for other stupid things I might do." Tears flowed down my cheeks as I realized that no matter how much I try to control myself, the side effects could overwhelm me.
"It's alright. I forgive you." He gently stroked my back. "Hush now."
"Hahaha!" I laughed like an idiot. "Thanks for understanding!" I wiped my tears with my sleeve.
"No problem. You're doing well. I can see that you will be fine soon. You are really one of a kind. If you were also in a story, you would have been so special too."
"Really? But what is special about me? Tell me!"
"You're a badass." he started.
"A-what?!" I asked.
He smirked.
"I imagine your character to be in an action genre. A lady hunter who shoots zombies in the head and stabs vampires mercilessly in the heart. Since your face looks too sweet and your body a little delicate, maybe, I should forget it."
"Even if I'm petite, I am tough and strong!" I said smugly. "If I want to, my pretty looks can kill a man."
"Yes. You're right. But please don't kill me."
"Huh? You're so funny! Hahaha!" I laughed even louder even if I wanted to cringe with the unbelievable words coming from him ever since I woke up.
Maybe, he too somehow got affected by the love potion yet keeps it a secret from me.
It is possible.
Antoine could be under the influence of love potion too!