"I wondered how many people there were in the world who suffered, and continued to suffer, because they could not break out from their own web of shyness and reserve, and in their blindness and folly built up a great distorted wall in front of them that hid the truth."
― Daphne du Maurier,
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Qinyang looked around the restaurant and found Zixuan waving at her. "Over here!" Her loud voice caught a lot of people's attention as they looked at the front door.
Qinyang saw the people's stares and lowered her head as she looked at the ground. Never did she know that her beauty captivated their hearts, but the voice in her head kept saying, 'You're hideous.'
'Don't look up,' she thought to herself, 'they are probably laughing at you.' She continued looking at the ground as her feet brought her to wherever Zixuan is.
When she arrived at the table and sat down, Zixuan noticed her anxiety is getting to her again.
Zixuan placed her hand over her friend's and said, "Qinyang... It's okay. They are not talking about you. No one is."
Her heartbeat slowed down a little and whispered, "Why did you have to call me so loud?"
Zixuan smiled awkwardly and said, "I'm sorry... I won't do it again." She grabbed the menu and shoved it to her face to at least distract her. "Here. Pick what you want to eat."
Zixuan knew people tend to look at Qinyang because of her looks. This girl's beauty was every guy's dream; even Miss Korea would be jealous of her! Sadly, because of Qinyang's social anxiety, she doesn't see herself as beautiful.
After the waitress took their order, both of them began to discuss the details of Qinyang's interview.
"So, the position I applied for you is the Director of Design. The things you need to do are what you have always been doing; attracting customers and clients. They hand you the products or goods they want to market and you will be responsible for designing promotions to attract users. That is what the assistant told me when I inquired," Zixuan explained.
Qinyang bit her lips nervously. "Isn't that… the position is challenging... I read the email you sent, Lee Corporation?" Even the name gave her a bad feeling. It reminded her of someone.
"Challenging is good, plus I applied you for that position because of your skills. Your talent of seeing good things from different perspectives and enhancing it, it is rare." Zixuan sat her chin on her palm.
Qinyang knew what Zixuan meant. Even if you gave her an old rag, she would always have a way to design something to attract people to buy it. " What if I fa—"
"Stop being afraid of being judged. What happened to your confidence when you were younger?"
Zixuan would always ask Qinyang to tell stories from her younger days. She was surprised that Qinyang used to be a class president and was one of the top students. Although Qinyang never told
Zixuan what happened that made her anxious, Zixuan's aware that Qinyang had experienced something traumatic.
But there was something Zixuan noticed about Qinyang. If Qinyang wanted to help someone sincerely like an innocent child, her anxiety disappears. It only acts up when Qinyang's in a new environment or when she's being stared at, making her feel being judged.
"I'll try..." she said with a sigh.
Zixuan thought of teasing Qinyang to ease her worries, "Qinyang, I never asked this before but have experience romance before?"
Qinyang squinted her eyes at Zixuan. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but no. I never dated anyone in my life."
"What?! For 24 years? A lonely life? Not even in high school?" Zixuan refused to believe a beauty like her had never dated anyone before.
Qinyang shook her head. "Nope. What's the rush? I'm still young."
"Then did you have any romantic interest towards any guy before?"
Qinyang pause for a moment and thought of him. "I did. Actually, I still do." she sipped her tea.
Zixuan's ears piqued and leaned further. "Oooo... who is it? Is he handsome? Why do you like him? Are you still seeing him?"
"You seriously got to fix that habit of yours. Ask one question at a time," Qinyang sighed as she stirred her tea, "I haven't seen him for years, we met in high school. The girls in my school find him hot, I guess... But to me, I find him a bit annoying at times and he likes to tease me. I don't have that particular thing on why I like him. I just find his presence comforting, that's all." Qinyang recalled her high school days while explaining.
"Hmm.... then do you think he likes you? Did you confess or did he?" Zixuan turned into interview mode.
Qinyang thought of the conversation she had before with him. "No. Neither of us did. He did say he sees me as a sister and I see him as a brother."
Zixuan sighed. "Eh... that's no fun. I wanted to tease you though."
In fact, Qinyang did regret not telling how she feels, but she believed that he got the message. There were times when she thought about him. After all, she did leave without saying anything. 'He probably doesn't want to see me.'
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"Fengyuan, have you book the flight to S city?" Junting typed out an email as he asked the man lying at his office couch.
" Yes, Junting. We need to leave in an hour to check-in."
"Good," said Junting while scrolling through his emails.
Fengyuan glanced at the man. He was curious why Junting suddenly wanted to go to S city a few days early before the day of the interview.
Junting felt the Fengyuan's stares and said, "A client wants to discuss expanding their business' branch in S City."
Fengyuan got goosebumps at Junting's sudden words, he still can't get used to that part of Junting.
"Dude, you should really stop reading people's minds!"
"I didn't. I study a bit of psychology," Junting said as he gave Fengyuan an innocent look and added, "that is why I don't get cheated by women easily."
Fengyuan felt a stab in the heart and became flustered. "You… you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?! I curse that you won't get married or even date anyone!" said Fengyuan as he stomped out of the office.