Shrubs, twigs and grasses brushed against Layfare's legs, some inflicting cuts she cared nothing for now. The tall trees remained silent as she darted in a direction she chose on a whim. There were no paths. There were no trails either. All she could see are the thick ragged trunks scattered in random.
Shadow was behind her, a mere dozen paces separated them. His hand was reaching forward like how darkness crept after sunset. He said nothing. Not a word, not a shout. Somehow that was more terrifying. What would he do to her if she got caught? Layfare doesn't know. She doesn't want to know either.
She was short of breath now. Her every breathing was turning squeaky, emitting a long pitched sound akin to that of a dying old man. Her chest felt heavy as if a heavy object was pressing on it, sapping her strength and numbing her senses. The faint sunlight through the gaps of the trees above seemed distant- fading like a dream of long ago.
She was weak, cold. Her arms were numb. Her legs were squishy. She fell and rolled until her head hit something hard. Everything danced in circles. Soon everything became dark.
And then a dream, no, a memory. A sweet one on par with aged wine. She was on the vineyard of the palace. Vines were in straight pots, grapes ready for harvest hung under green leaves. The gaps between pots were carpeted with trimmed grass soft to the feet. The sweet smell was strong that day. She could almost taste the wind.
Her feet were bare. Her toes wiggled in the grass. She was smiling that time, indulging in emotions now gone.
Arms wrapped around from the back, hands intertwined on her belly. The grip was tight but not restricting. Something damp touched her neck, the sensation brought ecstasy. And then on her cheek. The last was on her lips.
The severing of their lips allowed her a look on his face. His eyes were brown with a mix of dark, a common trait of Hadean nobles. His beard was clean, where she shaved him last night. He liked to keep it clean to show his perfect jaws, he often said. Layfare knew it as a lie. His jaw wasn't perfect. It had a good shape but the side was too sharp to incur perfection.
His clothes were a simple white tunic with loose sleeves and a dark trouser narrowing in the ankle. Comfort before style, he always told Layfare. A strange thing for a noble to say. But then again Neil was strange. He was unique. Special.
And then another memory flashed. This one was a little hazy as if she was underwater. She could hear muffled sounds that grew by intensity and clarity.
"I'll be back in a few weeks"
She heard Neil's voice. She couldn't mistake it. It was Neil. The haze cleared and she was in a room. The orange glow of the setting sun through the open windows bit a feeling of longing in her.
Neil was standing by the window, leaning against the brick wall. In front of him was a woman sitting on the bed. She had an unnatural paleness in her. A silver tiara sat on her unkempt her, topping the curls, barely holding. The white of her eyes were red, swollen around. She was her.
"They say that I'll have veterans to lead" Neil flashed a smile though it appeared insincere. "And we will be led by General Horis. Great man. Good command of soldiers. They say General Horis..."
"Don't go" The woman glanced up a bit and resumed her stare at the floor.
Neil sat beside, kissing her head and wrapping one arm around her waist. "I must go. For your father. For Hadea. For my family. And for you."
"You don't really mean that. You attempt a lie yet I know you more that you know yourself. You don't want to go."
"I don't" Neil rubbed his face with both hands. A long sigh followed. "I am afraid. They are Castonians, Omniscient's will be dammed. I want to stay here with you. But what choice do I have? My family will be stripped of its noble status if I stay here while representatives of other families are out there fighting. I don't want my family to suffer because of my cowardice"
"You lie again. You know I can plea with my father to give an exemption to you"
A long silence breezed as Neil stared at the setting sun. "If you do that then your family will be the one to suffer. Nobles will murmur about how you gave favoritism."
"I don't care"
"But I do" Neil's voice was soft. "I do. I treasure you. I don't want to be the cause of your downfall."
The woman had bit her lips as a single tear fell. She rose, wiping the wetness of her eyes.
"Fine then. Do what you want. I don't care about all of this anymore"
No! Layfare wanted to scream at the woman. Don't say that you idiot! You don't mean that. Embrace him. Kiss him. Don't let him go. Please I beg you! This will be the last time you will see each other again.
Layfare choked on her words. Her chest burned as her eyes soured. She was an idiot. She should have done something that day. She should have gone to her father despite his protest. Her indecisiveness killed Neil.
She opened her eyes. Darkness blanketed the night, peeking through gaps in the canopy. The leaves below felt like mattresses though prickly. Her head rested on some soft wood.
Her ears caught the loud crackling of fire. The smell of burning meat rumbled her stomach.
"Who is Neil?" Shadow asked, squatting near the fire where a skewered squirrel was cooking. Shadow's armor was all gone, leaving a muddy shirt.
Layfare forced to sit though her head ached badly. She grimaced until she found a position of comfort.
"My cat"
"So your cat is a noble who prefers thin shirts and loose trousers?"
"How!?" She regretted that impulse after pain surged through her skull.
"No outbursts. Your injury is bad. Your jaw is not broken though I think your face will remain swollen for a few days"
"How did you know about Neil?" Layfare endured the pain.
"Remnants of dust. The dust I gave to you last night didn't take effect at once. The remnants gave you a second dream. As the giver, i saw it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Does it matter? What matters is Neil." Shadow offered her a squirrel morsel. Pride told her to decline but hunger won in the end. She took the stick and started eating. It was burnt, chewy and bland.
"Care to talk about him? As apology for what I said earlier, I will listen to you" Shadow said.
Layfare glared at Shadow. She didn't hate him though there was something about Shadow that irked her. But the thought of releasing her emotions was an enticing one. The food needed gratitude too.
"Neil" She said after a while. "Neil was my lover. He was a nobleman, a low noble. He courted me after we met during my eighteenth nameday. He is the purest, kindest person that I know"
Neil's face flashed before her memory, drawing tears.
"Neil was sent to war against you. He didn't want to go. He was not a soldier, he was a sweet man who loves to paint. About two months ago Neil went to a battle in Canton. They were defending a bridge or something like that. They say..." She couldn't finish it. It was too painful.
"Battle of Serino Bridge" Shadow said. "I was there. A portion of Cantonese delayed the Union's legions in a bridge while the others escape. The Rooster caved through them. A few surrendered though. Maybe..."
"He's dead. When you returned the corpses, his was included." Layfare sniffed and wiped the last of her tears.
"It was a sad thing" Shadow said. "But my opinion remains. This war is useless. The blunt truth is that Neil died without purpose"
"I know. I like to pretend that his death somehow changed something but it didn't. I lost Neil for nothing" Layfare kept her stare at the fire. The squirrel was now but bones. "I don't have hatred towards your King and Queen nor do I have a need for vengeance. I know how this war began and I know its Hadea's fault. I just feel powerless. Most of us do."
"You know Princess, I'm starting to like you. That is bad because if I like you then the King and the Queen would also like you. I just hope they would get over their guilt if something would need to happen to you"
"That is a bleak outcome. I sure hope things won't go that far. Or better, I escape"
"Don't hope on it" Shadow said. "We have gone off course but riders will fetch us tomorrow. Rest well Princess. Gain your strength and recover. You'll need it"