Earlier that day...
"I think I love her. I think I'm in love with her, but I can't help but feel like she could slip through my fingers at any moment," Quincy said in a melancholic tone.
"Age difference?" Jazz had hit the nail on the head. This made Quincy's heart tremble. Thinking about it and listening to it gave him different feelings.
"I can't help it dude. She's 21. What if a better guy, a younger guy pops out of nowhere and sweeps her off her feet?"
"Young doesn't means stupid. You told me she preferred older guys anyway. Where's all these coming from Q?"
I had no idea either. My feelings for her ran deeper than I could have imagined. The more I got involved with her, the happier I became. Along with this happiness came fear too, the fear of being abandoned, and for the love of me, I couldn't imagine how my life would go on without her.
"She makes me feel all these feelings. I feel on top of the world when she smiles at me, the sound of her laughter makes my heart beat a tattoo into my chest, and when her warmth envelopes me, God you have no idea, it makes me feel all buttery inside."
"Fast! Pass me a mirror," Jazz requested suddenly.
"Why?" I asked, unsure of what he was up to.
"I want to confirm if I woke up as Oprah or Iyanla. Why in the world are you confessing to me? I didn't get out of bed 1 in the afternoon to be smothered in dog food," Jazz mumbled under his breath.
I laughed out loud at my best friend's antics.
"She's 7 years younger. When I'm 35, she's still in her 20s," I explained. "What if one day she wakes up and thinks I'm too old for her?"
The moment I dared to confirm my feelings was the moment the thought had popped up. I could do anything she asked of me just to keep her by my side, but I couldn't change my age.
"You knew this before you got together. She knew this also. I have no idea what you're even doing here. You should be talking to her about this," Jazz said.
I knew what he said was right, but I wasn't sure Seraphina had reached the same level as I was.
"Just talk to her. I bet my life she loves you too. You might not see it, but she looks all googly eyed at you when you say those corny jokes nobody ever laughs at."
Jazz's words calmed me down a bit, but a few words wasn't going to let the insecurity in my heart go away. I needed to confirm Summer's feelings for me. The sooner, the better.
She was engrossed with Viola Davis's acting on TV while I took in every of her delicate features and made a blueprint in my memory. Her smooth face had no pores, the fine hairs could be seen underneath the dim light from the side lamp. Her pointed nose, her full lips, her delicate brows, and long lashes, her soft body, and those lustrous eyes; she was perfect. It was no wonder I felt insecure about her. How could someone so young and so beautiful be with an older guy like me?
"Let's go on a date this weekend. I'll bring you somewhere beautiful," I said with anticipation dripping from my eyes. We needed to make more memories today. I needed to make her smile more, laugh more, and have her best days with me.
"She won't be able to leave me then," I thought to myself.
"Not as much as I love you..."
Why had she said it first? I clearly wanted my confession to be special. It was fall season and the leaves were changing colors. I was gonna take her to the nature park to witness the beautiful sight. My preparation was sudden but flawless.
I felt so sad that she dropped the bomb on me without prior warning.
I know, I've got my priorities messed up, but I can't help myself. I clearly wanted to say it first *pout*.