What are we living for? Walking past the mirror of life where my reflections ask me; what am I living for? Is it love I got so far from my family and friends? Is it fame I earned to far? Is it dreams I wanna live for? Or is it someone I'm waiting for? I ask that to myself again and again and what I get is nothing, Just a big void I'm trying to fill my emotions in. I've been in entertainment circle since the age of thirteen, serving as a teen model and later becoming as an established singer and actor till age of seventeen. I live whole day with my tight schedule, broadcasts, live stages, producers sitting over my head over the deadline, and fans following me around. I'm turning twenty-one today with no aspiration, no goal and no way to keep moving, just some questions flooding my mind. I'm in between people still feeling lonely. I received lots of love today but as the dawn is breaking, I'm still alone in this place. Each skyscraper teasing another one and streets filled with sounds of human inventions and air that's cool and foreign. I just have few minutes until I get back to work again but questions remains tact.I cannot meet my family and friends as I please, I cannot go anywhere freely; cannot eat, sit, talk and meet people as I please. I'm just living broken as disdain submerges me. What am I living for? I want to end it, as it's getting unbearable. Hanging from the propellers on the top of the building , everything seems so tiny like insects. Closing my eyes I see images of my mother, my father, my little sisters and my friends as I let go. Falling down I feel air brushing my body. I opened my eyes to see as I'm getting closer to my end, with rays of light blinding me as I go down, and I cannot see, hear or sense anymore.
I'm in valley of beautiful smelling lilies. Each Lily is blooming to its full. The atmosphere here feels devine, pure and charismatic.I'm lying over a giant Lilly covered in petal blanket. I stood up and found myself wearing a silk white gown following trail as I inspect around. Am I really dead? Is this what heaven looks like? My heart is filled with utter peace. I can sense a strange fragrance approaching me, it smells like garden of roses, jasmine, Lilies and lotus altogether mixed into one. As I turn around, I see a man coming to me. Tall, fair, broad shoulders, long silky hair, intimidating blue eyes, small chin and handsome features." Are you okay?"his deep voice showed deep concern but send chills in my body. He came closer holding me by my arm. "Are you okay?"
My eyes stun open and I found myself in my hotel room in my bed. Joey, my manager was sitting next to me looking concerned. " Are you okay, kriya?" he asked in tensed tone with trembling mouth as his brows twitched together as worry seems rolls all over his face. " yeah! I'm fine. How did I get here?"
His eyes seemed worried as if almost going to cry. ' It was time for your live stage, we were searching everywhere for you, a guard saw you going upstairs, but you were nowhere to be found. I got a call from hotel authority saying that you are in the front of hotel. I hurried down to find you lying unconscious over the floor. I was so scared.' tears pool down Joey's eyes as he told me the story. Joey has been my manager since 4 years, he is just a man in his 24 with average looks. He thinks me a younger sibling, we both have very strong relationship.
"Joey, the show?" I asked him as he handed me fruit juice. "I've cancelled your schedule for today, as the level of stress you are dealing with, what you need is rest! Drink it. Producers are already taken care of, so stop worrying, but apologize tomorrow. "
"What would become of me without you, brother joey. By the way, what are you doing?" peeking through the opening of my door, I saw him striding across my apartment as of in search of something.
"Found it!" he came in room with lit candles and a knife wishing me birthday.
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday, dear Kriya!
Happy Birthday to you!
After small but sweet celebration of my birthday with Joey and long hours of video chat with my family and friends, Joey left for his home. What a hectic day it had been all the shooting in hotel and me trying to figure out the same questions again. I was in hotel top... I remember, I fell of the hotel building!