"Are you in need? Are you searching for clothes? Are you confused about the MM Market?"
Bo stood proudly in his Yorefire clothes. He waved his walking stick around, attracting a few people's attention. Ald also dressed up cleanly and held an open umbrella as shade.
"Forget that! Come here and buy a noted Peasant Tunic for an Iliac coin! Don't get scammed by other people! Use this note and exchange it for new clothes at the front desk! Buy it now, while it's cheap! Only ten thousand in stock!"
"How about you! Do you want new clothes?"
Ald grabbed a dirty man coming in through the MM Market entrance.
"You look like you need a new Peasant Tunic! Your clothes are falling apart! How will you get work looking like you got mauled by cats?"
The man paused and glared at Ald.
"I don't need you to remind me. I'm a cat catcher."
Ald hesitated but Bo nudged him aside.
"You still need new clothes! What if you get mauled in those clothes again? Your skin will be cut to shreds!"
The man gave a crooked smile and spat on Bo's suit through the gaps in his teeth.
"I can do my job. Doesn't look like you can do yours."
The man walked deeper into the MM Market but seemed disappointed that his spit slid off Bo's suit.
"Tch, tough customers."
"We've only sold twenty three noted Buckets to farmers. You bought them at forty Tibia coins each and sold them at an Iliac coin. That makes..."
Ald counted his fingers. Bo rolled his eyes.
"It's fourteen Iliac coins, you idiot!"
"...Twenty three by one hundred, subtract the cost... No, it's thirteen Iliac coins and eighty Tibia coins!"
"Close enough!"
"You're twenty Tibia coins off. That's four loaves of bread we're talking about!"
"Yeah, but we got tens of thousands of items to sell! We've gone the whole morning and haven't found a sucker! You know we're f*cked if we can't sell these? I spent a Lacrimal coins buying this!"
"F*ck!"
It was true. The novelty of Bo the Salesman Merchant disappeared overnight. No one stupidly wastes their money on items they can buy at cheaper prices. That is, if there's nothing wrong with their minds.
As the two commiserated, a familiar group marched into the MM Market.
It was John and the three beauties! They were in Morian Knight uniform and scouring the MM Market for someone. Bo quickly noticed and pushed Ald towards them.
"Go talk with them! If they ask about Bo's Glass Flasks, reason with them and, if you can, try to dump off the rest of our junk!"
Ald reluctantly intercepted the women. He heard the story and didn't want to deal with them, but then again, he was indebted to Bo.
"There, that's the guy!" blurted the brunette Felicia.
"He's the one in the Yorefire Outfit! He pretended to be a beggar last time, but that's definitely his face!" added the blond Jessica.
"Hm... Interesting," said the big and beefy John.
He slicked his hair back and dusted off the front of his shirt.
"You're going to get our money back, right, John?" asked the prettiest black-haired woman.
"Looks like he wants to talk to you girls," John clicked his tongue, winked, and shot them two finger guns. "I'll talk to the other guy."
Ald gave a huff of relief when John passed him. All the bolstering of his spirts became unneeded, so he gave the ladies a winning smile.
"How're you girls doing? Did you enjoy my friend's Glass Flasks from yesterday?"
They frowned simultaneously.
"You're in the same scheme as that Bo guy?" Jessica leered.
Felicia stared him down, backed by the other girls to her left.
"What, you want to sell us Glass Flasks too?"
"It won't work like last time. We aren't that desperate...anymore."
They scoffed at Ald.
"Hey, he didn't scam you. He told you upfront what you wanted to hear, what he was selling, and what price it was."
"Yeah, well..." the black-haired woman stammered.
"She got dumped!"
Jessica and Felicia laughed.
"What kind of idiot gives a man Glass Flasks when asking him out!"
"They were noted! Don't forget that!" Felicia chimed in.
"S-shut up! He didn't accept your gifts either! We all got equally rejected."
"Tch! If it wasn't for his childhood friend he keeps talking about!" Jessica complained.
"Yeah! I should've known that skank would get in our way! Those dumb, homely village girls! What's wrong with us being strong and bold?" Felicia hissed.
"Hey!" the black-haired woman interjected. "I can be gentle and kind."
Jessica and Felicia gave each other a look and broke out in laughter. Ald awkwardly stood in their encirclement. He blushed whenever they laughed, especially when Felicia roared on his left. Her breasts bounced distractingly.
"You're the manliest girl I know, Aiko. Don't oversell yourself like those Glass Flasks you bought from Bo," said Jessica.
"You got that right!" Felicia agreed.
"I said, shut up!"
Aiko cracked her fists into their helmets.
"Gah!!"
"Ugh!!"
The two rubbed their heads.
"A-anyway, what did you want?" Aiko said to Ald.
"...Ahem. If you're willing, I could offer you Glass Flasks, Wooden Buckets, Chicken Feathers, or Peasant Tunics for an Iliac coin each. I have about five thousand of each."
"Ah, so you're more reasonable than your friend," Jessica nodded.
"Unlike Aiko is," Felicia noted.
"Y-you won't let that go, will you?"
""Nope!"" the two said in unison.
"So, are you willing to buy any?" Ald rubbed his nose.
"Nah," Jessica waved her hand in his face. "I bet we can buy it cheaper on the MM Market."
"It's in front of us too!" Felicia gave Ald a flirtatious wink, making him blush more.
"Nice try, skinny," Aiko brushed her hair back. "Hey, are you working for him or is he working for you?"
"Um. Well, I kind of owe him a lot of money. I owe him a lot for saving me, actually," Ald scratched his head, embarrassed.
"Awww! Isn't that sweet!" Jessica cried.
"If you had a bit more meat on your skin, I'd eat you up!" Felicia purred.
"Stop it. You two are so embarrassing," Aiko's face started flushing red. "I'll buy two noted Wooden Buckets. That should help you out a bit."
"I'll take two Chicken Feathers!" Jessica exclaimed.
Felicia licked her lips.
"I'll buy ten Peasant Tunics. Promise me you'll keep some of this money and feed yourself?"
"Ah... yes!"
Ald quickly got fourteen Iliac coins and bowed to each of them.
"Thank you very much! I can't tell you how much I appreciate this!"
Tears formed at the edges of his eyes.
"Awwww... you're so precious!" Jessica gushed.
"That Bo's got an eye for young men," Felicia nodded.
"Sheesh, you too!"
"Hey! Ald! Girls! Help!"
""""?!?""""
They turned towards John and Bo.
There, John pinned Bo against a pillar. His hunky body loomed over Bo, and his hand rested above Bo's head. John's head leaned closer and closer to Bo's face as Bo futilely thwacked John's barreled chest.
"He's going to kiss me! Get him off!" Bo wailed.
Jessica, Aiko, and Felicia watched in abject curiosity and mind-numbing incomprehension. Ald leaped into action, but he was too weak and small to get there fast enough.
They watched in horror as John puckered his lips and inch near Bo's disgusted face.
"Someone, help me!" he wailed once more. "Anyone! I can't hold him off much longer!"
Time slowed to a crawl. John's flattering smile lightened up his striking good looks. His saliva overflowed and formed a slick coating on the edges of his lips. The once piercing eyes shut in anticipation.
SMOOCH!
John kissed Bo on the cheek.
"Aw, don't be a spoilsport, Bo. I haven't seen you since we left our village!" John heartily chuckled.
"You freak!" Bo stabbed his finger in John's face as he frantically searched for something to purify his experience. "I've been tainted! Quick! Which woman wants to lick this fiend's spit off my face!"
"I do!" cried two of the ugliest specimens of humans ever to exist.
Their flesh wobbled and sores oozed diseased filth from their faces. A mist of flies and stink hovered over their unwashed dresses. Each step they took into the entrance of the MM Market forced the crowds of people to stay a good five meters away.
"Nevermind! F*cking f*ck! Of all the things the World gives me!" Bo cried.
He rubbed his face furiously on his old bag.
"Haven't you been avoiding me too long, Bo? We dreamed of being heroes together, working side by side!"
"F*ck, as if! I wanted the fame, the money, and the babes that came from being a hero! Not to be r*ped by my teammate when I'm not paying attention!" Bo screamed in exasperation.
Ald ran over and looked over Bo in concern.
"You alright?"
"Do I sound alright to you?! Next time, take care of the big guy too! Don't be focused on your getting your dick wet that you zone out me screaming for help!"
"I'm sorry..."
Ald bowed three times before Bo.
"Huaaah..." Bo sighed. "You're going to buy my junk since you took advantage of me."
"Gladly," John grinned.
"F*cking—!" Bo punched John but it was ineffective. "I'm not a prostitute you can buy!"
Bo sent John a trade offer.
"BoTheMerchant? What a nice name."
"Shut up and buy these at ten Iliac coins a piece."
"You know I can't. That's a ridiculous price."
"Oh, yeah? You acted ridiculous, chasing me all these years instead of the babes you attract all the time."
"It's because I love you~!" John said, shooting Bo a heart made from his cupped hands.
"Yeah? I don't need your love. I need your money," Bo flatly replied, with a stone face. "Give me twenty Lacrimal coins."
"Seventy Nasal coins."
"Ten Lacrimal coins."
"Ninety Nasal coins."
"Two Lacrimal coins."
John smiled, "Give me a kiss with tongue and you'll get all the coins you want."
"You wanna die?!" Bo huffed.
Veins bulged out of his face and a red glow spread across his expression.
"Hahahaha! I'm kidding! Here, two Lacrimal coins."
Bo took the coins and finalized the trade.
"Now leave."
"Aw, but I haven't gotten justice from what you did to my Little Sisters?"
"LEAVE, NOW!"
"Whatever you say, Bo~"
John collected his confused Morian Knights and left.
"Whew. That was a lot of history—"
"We. Don't. Have. History!" Bo hissed.
Ald held up his hands defensively.
"Okay, okay. I'm glad that's over with. You made a lot of money at least."
"...But at what cost?" Bo hoarsely whispered, staring blankly to the sky.
Ald gave Bo a pat of reassurance.
"I sold ten Peasant Tunics, two Wooden Buckets, and two Chicken Feathers if it makes you feel any better."
"...You know what. Let's get back to selling."
But at that moment, Bo spotted another familiar face!
It was Jin! His splendorous form materialized and swept through the gap between them nearly instantaneously!
"Bo! Just the man I was looking for!"
"Ah..." Bo dumbly spoke. His mind spun.
"Is he another 'Special Friend?'" Ald insinuated.
Bo shoved Ald away. Jin laughed at them.
"On the contrary, Bo needs me. If you do this job right, I'll reward you Immortality and safety in the MM Market. Fail... and you'll wish you married John years ago."
Bo shivered.
"Don't worry, Older Bro. This guy's stupid in the head. He follows me around to pay back his debt to me. I can drop him off here and we can go."
"It looks like you're doing good in the World, Bo! Righteousness is approved by the Heavens. Why don't we take him with us? If you two perform exceptionally, I'll even give you bonuses accordingly."
Jin glowered at Bo and his pressure forced Bo to nod.
"Good! I'm glad we got that settled! We'll be going now."
"Wai—!"
A mystical force propelled Bo and Ald out of the MM Market and Jin pulled them into his shimmering teleportation.
Bo never got to retrieve his money or items from the MM Market.