Omen's POV
Fear. Pain. Lost. Betrayal. Envy. Anger.
So many different feelings. Yet, so dark and twisted. It made me feel like the world was gray and dull. It was lifeless. There was no joy in looking forward to the future. It felt like I was in the muddy waters. No, it was something stickier and harder to get out of. The word could not come to mind, but all I knew was I never wanted to get out of them.
Why?
Why do I not want to get out? What is keeping me in and stopping me from getting out? How do I stop feeling this way?
It was an endless loop of negativity. The fear that stopped me from getting out of this pit was that I might get back inside one day.
If the result is the same as the beginning, why bother struggling at all? Why do people bother looking for the light when darkness covers it? Why look for the sun when it is gone?
A hand grabbed mine.
The answer was no matter how dark things are, they cannot indeed cover the light. It is momentary when the sun is gone because it will come back tomorrow. When you believe the light is there, it is there.
It has always been there.
I gasped as I opened my eyes. I could feel my lungs filling up with fresh air pumped out from the natural lungs of the earth. Soft rays of sunlight shone down on me, pushing away the morbid memories of coldness. I took another deep breath as I gained my bearings.
My hand was gripping Shiro's like hers was a lifeline while the others were rubbing my back and fanning my face. It was a nightmare, a panic attack, or a long-lost memory churned up from the depths of my mind. Whatever it was, I was just thankful that Shiro pulled me out of them.
I shuddered.
I never wanted to feel something like that again. It wasn't me, but it was. That was how Shadows could be born. It was enough for a Shadow to take over me with such intense negativity and start harming other living beings.
I glanced at Shiro to see her worried expression.
Was my past so profoundly rooted in negativity that just a mere memory is enough for me to succumb to the Shadows?
"Are you alright?"
I sighed at Shiro's question. It was enough to tell her that the answer was no.
"How is it possible that you would end up with another mesias?" Envilia asked. "It wasn't easy locking her away."
"I… I don't know. I think she was already split from us." I answered slowly as a headache came over to me. "With only the weight of our past life's memories to accompany her, I think she might have gone mad with pain."
Yin rubbed the sides of her arms while her twin brother hugged her as a way to comfort her. Yet, Shiro was strangely silent. Only her hand was still gripping mine.
"It might have been a mistake to split us apart." Shiro suddenly said.
Everyone looked at her. Having been the first mesias summoned, it was no wonder if she knew something that I did not know. She continued.
"Before we signed the Guardian contract, we were already fragmented parts of a tortured being. On the last bit of sanity left, we decided to split ourselves apart and have the bits that we could not control sealed away once we signed the contract. However, "I" never expect that such an outcome would have happened."
It was clear that Shiro was far more rational than we thought.
"But, it doesn't make sense! Memories cannot have grown on their own like how humans would." Envilia argued. "To let her become part of us again would be disastrous. I cannot be certain if we can even withstand her."
I found myself agreeing with Envilia.
There was no way that I could withstand the girl even though she was originally a part of me with my current state. Even at this moment, I could feel her hatred lurking in the depths of my mind. Waiting for the right moment to burst out. Waiting for the moment that she could unleash her horrors onto the worlds and on Mike. Her hostility towards Mike was unlike what I had felt before, so much so that it was hard for me to feel the same old way if I saw him again.
Speaking of Mike, where was he? Where am I? I finally realized that we were no longer in the Library but in the clearing of a relatively dense forest.
"By the way, where are we?"
"In Wonderland," Yin replied while Shiro and Envilia were deep in their discussions about the girl in the white room. Yang continued her words. "It's where the fourth Alice is and where the Dark Horse Organisation is. I, wait, we scouted this place while Shiro tried to bring you back."
I frowned. "Something happened to the Library, right?"
The twins nodded in agreement. At this moment, Shiro and Envilia finally ended their heated discussion.
Envilia nodded at us and said, "We came to a compromise. To prevent "her" from coming out, we decided it is best if we stayed out of your mind. That means we each stay in our physical bodies. It's a good thing that Wonderland seemed to be supporting us. Maybe the reason is that it is a world based on dreams. It is the largest dream world."
"May I know how it came to be? The Library system doesn't seem to be working." I tapped the information screen, and its response was only an "error."
Envilia stared straight at me with a grim face.
"This is the true Wonderland where Alice once fell into.
You know, the famous "Alice in Wonderland" story, except with lots of fluff and sprinkles. That was the only Alice ever recorded to survive in Wonderland among the numerous ones still trapped in here. We,"
She pointed at all of us, her face turning more and more serious.
"We are also called "Alice" to the locals here. They desire our stories, our lives far more than we do because we take them for granted. Having a story means having a role, a face to live for the locals here. And they will do anything for such a privilege."
"I don't really understand, but you are just saying this world isn't very welcoming to visitors, right?" Yang scratched his head.
Shiro shocked her head.
"What Envilia means is that the locals will try to make us stay so that they can take over our stories. In doing so, they can leave Wonderland and go back to their worlds to live in our places. Or they can gain a new role in this world that allows them to have more prestige. It's like how an ordinary farmer would want to do anything to become a King.
You guys will understand once we get into a village or meet the locals of this world. As for Wonderland, Dream, the leader here, loves visitors because more visitors means more dreams for it to grow and survive."
Hearing Shiro and Envilia's words, the dense forest somehow gave me a spooky feeling. But the information they provided was not very shocking when I considered the stories from the Alice Letters.
The stories told by the Alice Letters were morbid and sad. There was no happy ending to them. Myths and stories are often exaggerated from the real thing, but there would be some truths to them as long as we could trace back the origin. So, if I were to liken the Alice Letters as a page taken out from the book, which is Wonderland, then this information was not much of a surprise.
We have to be a lot more careful when dealing with the locals of this world while we find the last Alice. I was perturbed with how I couldn't find the connection with the Library, so I had the mesias fill me in with what happened when I was unconscious.
It wasn't like I could do anything with my legs refusing to listen to me.
~~~
"Visitors! Visitors!"
A young boy clapped his hands excitedly when he felt the extra presence within his world.
"It's been so long since the last ones came. Hehe! I am going to have so much fun!"
Suddenly, his appearance changed into an adolescent girl with braids as long as her body. She daintily picked up her teacup and sipped it.
"We are going to have tea parties again! Hehe! We can do dressing up, spilling tea, oh! What fun!"
"Oh, please," suddenly, the girl cutely begged the "visitors" despite them not being able to hear her. "Please, stay alive until you get here."
Staring off into the space, as though sensing that someone could see it, it smiled as it became another person. This time, a tall and skinny man with a serious aura on him but wearing an unsuitable grin on his face.