I woke to see the morning sun granting me the strength to carry on. As I look around, I knew that I had fallen asleep in the hospital. I saw her little maid sitting in a chair blankly towards her sickly mistress.
"Madam, you are now awake."
She has a weak voice as she is a petite little being. Her clothes of aprons and dress spark an interest in me. How long has she been here? Did she stay here all night?
Hazily, I stretch a little bit to wake myself up. "Yes, miss. Good morning to you."
She never looked at me in the eye. Instead, she continued to stare blankly towards her mistress. Whoever this is, she must have loved Emma so much.
"What is your name?" I ask.
"Mary. I am Miss Emma's maid. You must be her friend."
"Yes."
I see that she still focuses her eyes on my weak friend. "Miss, do you really love your mistress so much?"
"Yes. Madam, I do not know what to do if she dies, but I do know it will soon come."
"How can you stay loyal to her? You will be dismissed from her service once she dies."
She shrugs. "I cannot help but be loyal. She is such a kind-hearted girl. The world is cruel to her. Her parents seem to never care about her. They only see her as a tool for advancement. Alas, even her final wish is denied of her."
"What is that?"
Now, this one triggers my thoughts. What could this girl ask? She is already dying. Can't she just have her last rites completed and get it over with?
"She wants to see her lover one last time," she says silently.
What a fool! How could she ask for that wish? I may say that it is pathetic, but I cannot help but feel guilty. I am the one that never felt romantic love. I cannot see love as she sees it. She loved two men, but both of them failed her. Her decision to remain chaste is what drove them away. Her faith truly astonishes me. I may pray the rosary constantly, but I admit that I am a sinner through and through. My desire to advance in life has led me to forget whom I should truly serve.
"Which one?" I ask.
"The third and final one."
Who is that? By God, this girl is a greater liar than I thought! She kept that a secret from me, from us, her true friends? We are sisters in all but name, but how could she lie to us? She had a third lover without my knowledge. This might be the reason why that arranged marriage distraught her.
"Miss, do you know the name? Perhaps we could find him."
"No. But I do know that there is a third lover. She has written poems and letters to him. He never stepped into our household, but I do know he is the reason why she sometimes cries at night. I could not grant her comfort for she would not tell me what it is. Madam, you have to put my mistress out of her misery."
"Are you certain about this?"
Suddenly, she pulled a paper from her pocket. She unfolded the paper folded in fours. She handed the paper to me and it is a poem. What does this mean?
"This is the last poem she wrote for him. Poor child. She only wanted simple things in life. Perhaps it would be better for her to be a daughter of a common man. Madam, you must find him before it is too late. We want her to die in peace. This the only way I know."
I am hesitant to take this task. Why would I find someone I do not know? I know this is the only way to assure her peaceful death, but it truly pains me whenever I think that she lied to me. She kept this a secret from me.
Hesitantly, I took the paper away from her. As she notices my doubts, she merely smiles. "I know, madam. This is not enough to help you, but this is the only thing I can give you. Please, madam, I beg of you, do it for the love you still bear for your friend you see as your own sister."
Then, suddenly I heard the footsteps of Eloisa approaching towards me. How long has she been awake and listening to our talk? As I hear her disoriented steps towards me, I find that something odd happened to her.
"Come on now. What harm can a simple search for a man do? Look, Emma is dying. What harm can this do? How hard can it be? You can just find the man and it is done."
Her speech is slurry by the minute. Did she drink again?
Flatly, I answered. "Easier said than done, dear friend. Also, I have work today."
"Even on Saturday?"
She is right. It is Saturday today. This simple wish is pathetic, but it is easy to accomplish. We just need to find the man and bring him here! How hard can that be? Eloisa may be right on this.
"Alright. Let's do this."
We went out of the door of the hospital room and we began planning what we shall do. This should be an easy task. The poem is foolish and of no help, but it proves the existence of a third lover.
"Did Emma keep a diary?" I ask.
"She might have. I mean, the last time I saw her writing was back in college. She could have probably kept it in her former locker."
"The problem is what if someone already occupies it and the school administration has thrown it away?"
"It's worth a shot. I mean going back to college. Wouldn't that be fun?"
"Yeah, fun."
The sarcasm in my answer is easily highlighted by my voice. College was a crazy time for me. It was hard being away from home. I had to take up several jobs to support my family. I also had to keep my friends at bay. Eloisa was getting into drugs all the time, while Emma keeps being herself – naïve and too good for the world. I had to make them both see the reality of life. For Eloisa, I need to make her see that she does not need to go high to forget. For Emma, I need to make her see that life is not all cupcakes and rainbows.
I see her waving the keys of her car as she plans on driving us to our alma mater, Ferrydell University. By God, I can't let her drive!
"Do you have your license back?" I ask cautiously.
Still, even in my warnings, she still keeps on waving the keys in the air as if to brag about her driving. "Not particularly. But who needs a license. You don't need a license to drive a car."
Smug as she is, I take the keys away. "Actually, you do."
Quickly, I put the keys in my bag. She struggles to get it back, but she is not a match for me. I am stronger than her when she's drunk. "Hey, give that back! You don't need a license. You can drive along the road as long you don't get caught."
"And what if you do?"
"I haven't thought about that," she says, suddenly aware of her actions.
"That is why I am driving," is my smug reply.
I drove us to our alma mater. It is an autumn day and I can see the students enjoying their weekend. I feel so awkward just walking around here. Hopefully, nobody recognizes us. I can see students walking around partying, studying, or even dating. The first and the third ideas disgust me. I was never a party girl. That was Eloisa. I never dated anyone. That was Emma. I was the nerd that studied my butt off and had to work hard to be successful in life. They had it easy. Eloisa's father is a corporate lawyer. Emma's parents are a business magnate and a politician. I am a daughter of a street vendor and a house cleaner.
I had to do everything to survive. I cannot stand having a simple life. May the Lord forgive me for my ambitions.
We sneaked pass through the campus grounds and walked inside the university itself. Our alumni identification cards still work. The guards never bothered interrogating us. We went through the locker area. After searching through the various locker numbers, we finally found Emma's former locker.
"Don't you think someone has already occupied this?" I ask. "We've been out of college for two years. Someone must finally have this."
"What makes you say that?" Eloisa asks. "Emma never turned over her locker key. Frankly, she left some stuff here. She never bothered to collect them."
I am worried about Eloisa's plan. She is picking the lock of the locker. This is wrong on so many levels. What if another student is finally occupying this very locker? Alas, this is going to get us into trouble.
"What are you doing?" a girl asks.
Oh, great! My worst fears have been realized. Alas, this shall get us in trouble with the school admin. The chances of getting away with that diary would be far too less than we had earlier.
"Again, what are you doing?" she asks angrily. "Are you trying to steal my stuff?"
We cannot find the words to say. I do not know if Eloisa had been smoking the pot, but she certainly cannot speak. I, for one, cannot answer for I did not prepare myself for this.
It will be easy, I said.
It will be over within a day, I said.
This is going to take much more time than I had imagined.
"Well, aren't you going to answer?" she asks angrily.
Eloisa let go of her picking device and all I could do is stare at her. Suddenly, a relief came along that would save us from that woman.
"Child, what is the matter?" a professor asks.
I looked behind me and I saw my former professor. Alas, I saw him again. I cannot find the proper words to say once more. It was as if I had returned to college once more. I, once, fell for him. I knew it must not be. I knew I had to suppress any romantic love I felt towards him. I need to get on with the world. Love would never make use of me. He will only get in the way. I never advanced my emotions towards him for I know he will never care for a woman such as me.
His name is Professor Diwa. Quite the dreamboat, I must say. He is a college professor at the university, with a masculine face, a pair of specs of his eyes, a standard haircut for men and he has a smile that will make you fall head over heels for him. He is a strict teacher when it comes to, well everything. That includes deadlines, quality of work and respect; however, he is a kind-hearted fellow.
"These two are trying to break my locker open," the girl complains.
"Hush now," he says calmly. "I shall take care of this matter. Worry not, child. Come on, now, girls. I believe you have caused enough trouble for today."
"Ah, bah!" Eloisa exclaims. "Follow the authority, how typical!"
"Just follow him," I whisper to her.
We followed him to avoid further causing troubles in this school. I do not know where this is going. Is he our sanctuary or our danger?