A young man lay sprawled on a couch that looked like it was one spilled snack away from a full-on collapse, snoring softly, blissfully unaware that the gods were having a meeting about him. Ryo Tanaka: part-time convenience store cashier, full-time procrastinator. His apartment was less "living space" and more "tribute to last-minute decisions," with takeout boxes forming precarious towers and mismatched socks scattered in a chaotic salute to entropy. He lived by a motto that was half philosophy, half questionable life choice: "Why do today what you can put off until the universe crashes down?"
But then, the air around him did something weird. Not the ceiling, mind you—the actual air. A shimmering rift appeared, twisting with colors so vivid they should've come with a warning label, and hummed like a DJ checking his bass.
"Is this... the wrong address again?" a booming voice grumbled from the rift. "Why do they always send me to the ones that smell like instant ramen?"
Ryo stirred, one eye cracking open like a suspicious sloth. "Who... Who's there? If you're the landlord, I've already told you, I'm... spiritually working on the rent."
The rift expanded, revealing a cloaked figure that could only be described as "glowing cosmic drama." This was Orion, one of the Big Kahunas of the Game, a cosmic entity so powerful it was rumored that staring at him too long could give you a headache, a nosebleed, and a deep-seated existential crisis.
"Ryo Tanaka," Orion's voice boomed, vibrating the air like a heavy bass drop. "You have been chosen as a champion in the Game of Eternities. Your actions will determine the fate of the multiverse."
Ryo blinked. Then, very slowly, he sat up, scratching his head like an old man trying to figure out where his glasses went. "Wait, what? Is this a prank? Like one of those hidden-camera shows? Where's the crew?"
"This is no prank, mortal!" Orion snapped, his robes flaring so dramatically it could've been an Olympic sport. "You shall wield unfathomable power, battle cosmic enemies, and—"
"Yeah, yeah, but why me?" Ryo interrupted, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, I'm honored and all, but I'm more 'hold the universe's coat while someone else fights' material, y'know? I'm pretty sure you're looking for someone with less Cheeto dust on their fingers."
Orion paused, his glowing eyes flickering like he'd just been hit with a pop quiz. "...You were selected for your... unique qualities. Qualities that could shift the balance of the multiverse in ways... unforeseen."
Ryo leaned back, eyeing the cosmic being suspiciously. "Like... my high score in Zombie Pizza Delivery Simulator?"
Orion hesitated for a moment, which, if you were an all-powerful celestial being, was a bit of a red flag. But no going back now. The die had been cast.
"You... shall see," Orion muttered, less confidently than before. Then, with a flourish that could've used a bit less drama, he stretched out a glowing hand. A mystical sigil appeared on Ryo's chest, crackling with unearthly energy.
"Great," Ryo muttered, poking the mark like it was a questionable burrito. "Now I gotta explain this tattoo to my mom. Thanks, universe."
And so, Ryo Tanaka—reluctant hero, eternal procrastinator—was thrust into a cosmic game beyond his wildest dreams... "Tell my mom, that I'll do the dishes later!!!", Ryo shouted as he got pulled into himself, as the burrito looking tattoo, glowed green.