I met a stranger.
The internet have always been a strange place. And within it I've come across a myriad of good and bad and the depraved. And among all of them, I've met a girl, a muslim girl.
I don't remember how we met or how we ever started to talk, but one way or the other I had come to acquire her number. Beyond the small talk and introduction perhaps her question upon me asking me if I was interested on religion was what would be the beginning of a long conversation.
I was a man always struggling with faith for a long time and eventually lost my faith, always trying to find a reason to wanting it. And at the same time I find nothing but words which would disprove my faith. Like a I hypocrite I preach at church, a man with no faith. But I am filial, I am a man of God for my mother. Even if everything about myself disagree so.
And so I answered, 'Christian if my mother ask'. To my surprise, she replied in a similar fashion, only if her father ask.
Maybe that was the answer which made me see her as my image, my mirror image. A person who understands my sufferings. What followed would her teaching me about a philosopher; Abu Nasr Muhammad Al-Farabi, an interesting counterparts on Islam once which would eventually be rejected by en mass. The following conversations, questions and answers would come to reveal of her life story.
Perhaps my questions would seem to be insensitive to her and to most, maybe I was asking unnecessary questions yet she didn't discourage me nor disagree. After all 'everything is suitable to be questioned'. Her words not mine.
Throughout our conversation, your voice in my head sounds melancholic, something of indescribable sadness even if you didn't sound like it at all. Your voice was sweet and joyous yet it didn't sound like that for me. Why did you seem to struggle so much just to speak to me in my mind. Why?
Why have you made peace with death? You fear not death, you gladly accept it like an old friend. You know you do, and yet you seem so hopeful and bright. Every now and then you seemed so strange, almost hypocritical. You truly seem like an enigma. I will never understand your thoughts.
And once you made a joke which truly made a smile on my face. For now I truly wish you succeed on your plans. And I truly wish you thrive on this accursed Earth. Perhaps we will never meet again.
I know what kind of person I am and I wish you don't meet a person like me or me again, yet I do wish to meet you.
And why do you have the same pillow as me.