Scattered chocolate candies. That's it. And precisely a dozen of little girls with a wild desire to kill me.
Ah, what an eventful morning. After looking in the mirror and checking if my hair was alright, I remarked how especially angry were the reflections of the females standing behind me. The wall mirror was cleaned just yesterday and was beautifully reflecting every single detail of those furious figures.
A grin slowly appeared on my face – I once read that we should meet a danger with a smile, like a friend – and turned around.
"Ladies, please, no need to be angry. We're not in kindergarten – no need to throw stuff around", I said and came to the center of the giant lounge so that everyone could see me. My shoes accidentally crushed some candies on the way despite me trying to avoid them. I signed: the carpet was dirtied. Not to mention the box of sweets, that took me two hours to find, and yet was carelessly thrown on the floor. Women say they love small gestures of love, but none of them cared now.
I looked at Lily's face, searching for an explanation. She trembled.
"You liar!" the guitarist threw the bracelet given to her two weeks ago, into the trashcan timidly placed in the corner of the room. Clack! Nice aim! My heart was torn between disapproving her wasting such fine jewelry and praising her skills. That one time I took her hunting was marvelous… Well there's no time for reminiscing now. I snapped back and continued listening to her screaming about my "lies":
"Those days we spent on your yacht, did that mean nothing to you?!"
I chuckled and wanted to explain that I don't like wasting my time, yet she was interrupted by other lass in green, standing beside her:
"You said you loved me!"
Before I got the opportunity to respond, another one shouted:
"I loved you! "
I didn't bother to turn around, since all of them started screaming that they were in love, and just said:
"Good. I wouldn't expect another statement, after all the gifts I gave you. Expensive gifts."
Splash! One second, and the vase full of beautiful flowers was over my head. Oh, bother, now I have to change my suit. And my hair's wet. Again. Yet this time I'd better keep quiet.
"What about me? " Someone hanged onto me desperately, "Don't you love me?"
"I did. Once."
'Slap!' – loud sound and my left cheek started burning. Judith always was a strong one. At least on the outside.
Before I could come to my senses, another girl took her turn in taking out her anger on me – I think her name is Cathie.
"I knew you can't be trusted!"
Her voice is usually amazing, as expected from a great singer, but now… Let's just say I don't enjoy high-pitched screaming. Still, she kept on yelling:
"You deceived me! You said I was the only one. I knew you're a liar. I knew something was wrong. I knew it!"
Huh, the only one.
"That doesn't make any sense. " I was remaining calm. "If you knew it, why would you follow me and travel with me?"
"I fell for you! "
She was on the verge of crying and her face, previously caked in makeup, started turning into an unpleasant mess (just like her soul). Oops… Got to do something about it. I hate when women are crying. Not because of the appearance but because then you start feeling guilty. And that's not good. So, I braced myself and said what I had to say, fully aware of what consequences it would bring:
"You fell for me? That's excellent. You see, that was my intention. Why else would I have to deal with every single one of you?"
Aaaand that pulls the trigger.
I made it clear that there is no special girl for me amongst them.
And women hate to be the same. Women are competitors.
The hell broke loose and they started throwing their purses around and crushing the vases, figurines and fragile decorations that my housemaids thoughtfully put in the lounge to increase the aesthetics of the boring room. Someone hit the mirror with a delicate ring, and with a loud clanking it fell into millions of sparkly pieces. The clanking finally made the women stop their madness and look at the culprit.
Jena, who was standing in front of me and was the one to throw the ring, looked into my eyes. I guess she was aiming at me. It's good that she sucks at shooting. And it's also good that I broke up with her before I got the chance to found out her violent side. She was breathing heavily and she had a disheveled appearance, and that was a pity. When she took care of herself, she was very cute.
She opened her mouth and said:
"Choose. "
Funny, she wanted me to choose one of them. And I could sense everyone around me stopping. They all want the same thing. Interesting how even after all that happened, after all that was done to them by me, they still wanted to possess me. To be that winning one, that person who would be able to look at everyone and say: "You lost."
I glanced at my watch. It was half past five. I was supposed to leave an hour ago. Who would have known that once the door to my house would open, I'd discover every single one of them inside. A lot of time was wasted here. Now I'd better hurry.
"Well?" asked the woman whose name I didn't care to remember.
I looked up and run my hand though my hair, trying to restore its original form.
"I choose my flight to France today at six thirty."
Boom! Screeeech! Smash! A couple seconds later and all the women stormed out, some in rage, others in tears. Well, almost everyone.
At the door, there stood a woman in a pretty blue dress. I recalled she was one of the actresses I met not so long ago. A quite scheming person. Not a day would go by without her trying to use me in her favor. Just like today, her gaze was full of contempt and I could tell she hated my presence. If you hate me, what the point in coming here? I don't like to see you either. Though I was curious about what she prepared.
She picked up her purse and pulled out a handkerchief.
"Your reputation can suffer from this, you know."
Ohh, now I see why you're here.
"There are reporters everywhere." she continued, "I can let it slip away if you want. For a certain amount, of course…" she smiled, handing her kerchief to me.
I laughed, ignoring her kind gesture. Does she think she can play that trick?
"Like I care! Journalist are already bored with me! I doubt anyone will be surprised! On the contrary, I think it won't do any good for your career, will it?" I looked at her, interested in her next move.
Yet her face got twisted. I hit the soft spot. She probably got caught in a scandal again and now her fans were leaving her.
The woman turned to the door and angrily whispered:
"Remember this, Alfred: one day you'll meet a girl, and you won't be able to make her fall for you, no matter how much you love her. The fate will be cruel to you!"
And thus, I was finally alone, with a fake smile on my lips and dry laughter.
Shattered vase, wet suit, broken flowers, scattered sweets.
Women are competitors. Women are thunderstorms.