Space is quite large, you know?
I tend to have this thought every time I look out the window of the Argo's helm just above the master ship controls, looking at the stars and obscuring gases coloring the galaxy in a variety seemingly infinite, and stunning to the extreme. Sometimes I feel sad as I look out at the expanse, wondering if others still feel the wonder of an endless void filled with mystery and beauty.
People today seem to forget that fact as they use their fancy FTL drives to hop from system to system in mere moments, minutes if the jump is particularly lengthy. Many people these days have their own personal ships, mostly just to commute to work (which I still find particularly silly, we have phones and video chat), while the upper crust will sometimes spend their day going to multiple planets just to do some shopping, claiming to be supporting local businesses by going to the source, the pretentious pricks. They miss out on the beauty of the infinity cosmos, and much more.
And on that topic of much more, do they not understand that by doing all this commuting to work planet side and encouraging local system trade, that people are losing their livelihood? Think of the galactic mail person who has nothing to deliver to the denizens of the galaxy and thus will never see the wonders of space, or the space truckers who ferry cargo to and fro to make a living and pay of their ships.
But the greatest problem of all is not these workers who will lose so much in the shrinking of galactic trade, or the people who commit the heinous crime of responsibility and social participation, but it is about how all of this will affect me personally and monetarily.
How in the hell am I supposed to steal anything if there is no one to steal from? I mean come on, are you assholes happy just being locals? No sense of adventure, no exploring new worlds or frontiers, no looking for space gold? Shit man, who doesn't want space gold? Oh, I'm sorry, you just want a peaceful life with no worries or danger, well this is space! Everything is dangerous! Damnit be more adventurous and strike it rich so I can get paid! I want to get paid!
...
'Cough'
...
Anyhow.
As I mentioned earlier, space is quite large, and as such it is the perfect place to prepare an ambush for some unsuspecting saps who just want to do their jobs, as I wish to do mine. The problem comes from the fact that with the decrease in galactic exportation of goods overall, most travelers tend to stick to more patrolled sectors of space, making it harder to rob people without the direct intervention of the Galactic Police Force (GPF from now on), or their painful weapons systems. Usually, you must try and get people either in the blind spots of the patrols, or those rare few who travel on the less used FTL routes.
However, those situations are usually for blindly robbing people of their material goods and (occasionally) dignity, while today the target is a bit unique. You see, today I have been commissioned (unofficially) to do some kidnapping of a space noble.
Now, if this sounds like a bad idea because it involves the nobility of the galaxy, then you would generally be correct. However, today we are kidnapping a princess who has run away from home to avoid a political marriage, and their family has offered a reward for her safe return.
Fortunately, a friend of mine (Tom) has given me a lead saying she is on a commuter line to a planet in the Sol system and was kind enough to even forward me the outbound freighter signature, so I know which one to get. While this job may be a bit cruder than usual, I plan to just do a quick intercept and jack up the price for her safe return, or else she gets hurt.
I realize the irony of the situation, which is the main reason I am doing the kidnapping at all. I find it kind of hilarious.
But in all honesty, I am not sure how to feel about this one, I am obviously doing a bad thing by kidnapping her, but it is the right thing to do since there is a legal reward, not to mention the fact that she is a minor (15) travelling the galaxy unsupervised. Then there is the issue where she should decide who she wants to marry, but space nobles always had screwy laws and regulations, so I think she technically broke the law by running away.
It's all BS really, it is a morally grey crime and I want to get paid.
At any rate, the plan was simple, wait until the freighter jumped out of FTL so it could course correct and plot a new jump, disable the ship with an electromagnetic pulse, board the ship with my space suit, take the princess and jump away.
Simple plans always seem to work the best.
"Alfred, how many minutes until our princess arrives?" I speak aloud to the monitor to my right.
The screen gives an audible groan as the black screen transitions into a light green, like a beautiful forest in the height of spring, or even a small pond in the enchanting mountains where no man has ever travelled and discovered. Or like a shitty piece of cilantro.
Also, the screen has some white text on it spelling out "Alfred" in the papyrus font style, because Alfred knows it pisses me off.
"ESTIMATED TIME: TEN MINUTES" speaks the mechanical, yet deep voice of the ships integrated AI Alfred. "THE EMP IS ARMED AND THE ARGO IS READY, CAPTAIN JACOB", he continues.
"Good, keep an eye on the FTL lanes and let me know when we get a jump signature" I order Alfred.
I both love and hate Alfred. I happened to steal him from a military station when I was just starting my career of debauchery, and thought he was a simple navigational chipset used to plot FTL jumps for battleships or destroyers. Because of this, I decided to install him on my corvette, the Argo, as my new navigator.
Lo and behold, he was an AI, and very intent on killing me and taking the ship on a space cruise.
Unfortunately for him, I rigged the ship to explode when my vitals flatlined, and with Alfred only being able to kill me instead of incapacitating me, we were at a standstill for many days. Eventually we acquired a mutual respect for one another, I would even say it is a sort of friendship, but every so often I still look for a mechanic brave enough to attempt to uninstall him, and he occasionally shuts off the air so I suffocate a bit, or gravity so I float around while I try to do things.
So yeah, friendship.
While I wait for Alfred's update, I decide to take a quick look around the Argo to take inventory, and start walking to the cargo bay. While I mentioned the ship was a corvette earlier, I mostly gutted it to make room for my personal effects, and plunder.
As I exited the front cockpit of the ship towards the back, I passed the bathroom to the right complete with shower and toilet, while to the left was my bedroom with my personal computer and cheap couch futon.
Continuing past that was my makeshift med-bay with an auto-doc and other medical supplies, while opposite that is my small kitchen with fridge, oven and food synthesizer.
Passing these rooms, I made it to the heart of my ship, and my personal favorite place in the whole galaxy, the extended cargo bay.
Here you could find the matter recycler, able to break down elements and compounds turning them into other elements and even products, if you had the schematics or drafted the designs yourself. You could also find a small open storeroom with lockboxes for loot that needed to be more secure or contained if it was hazardous, and a supply room with all sorts of gear for robbing and pillaging, such as the space suit and weapons I would be using for the kidnapping today.
Even with all this cool gear and space in the hold, the crowning feature of the cargo bay, and the ship really, was the Julius "SEIZER", my heavy assault mech I stole from the GPF when then tried to capture me planet side many years ago. It was my pride and joy, a bipedal mech with a missile launcher on the right shoulder, a magnetic flak cannon on the left shoulder, a light laser cannon comprising the whole left arm, and finally a right arm made of hardened steel, but flexible enough to pick up most objects. The head was nothing special, just a bald top painted to look like a skull, and splayed across the chest of the mech I painted in tacky gunmetal red the words "Pillage-Plunder", because I am classy. At 10 meters high and 5 across and since the mech was incredibly light for a heavy class mech, it was cool as hell, and as deadly as it sounds.
Unfortunately, I never really use it that often, mostly because I do space piracy these days. Also, because the core can overheat if I use the weapons too much, and I am not a fan of nuclear explosions in my face.
Still, my pride and joy.
"CAPTAIN" Alfred's sonorous voice range from the speakers, in a somewhat hurried tone, I think. I still have trouble discerning the cadence of Alfred's mechanical voice.
"I'm here are we all set to go?", I was both excited and nervous, excited for the job to come, and nervous because of the perceived nervousness Alfred portrayed.
I had a bad feeling about this.
"MULTIPLE FTL SIGNATURES INBOUND, NONE OF THEM MATCH THE FREIGHTER SIGNATURE".
And there it is.
Taking a last look at "SEIZER", I turn around and rush back to the hallway, hearing a loud popping sound, usually indicative of a ship exiting FTL travel. As I enter the cockpit and look out the window, I see 5 large ships in front of me, battleships I believe, with their guns pointed right in my general direction. At least I think so, space guns could usually move on a swivel to follow targets out in space, but the point stands regardless.
Just as I hop over my chair to sit down in front of the master control panel, I hear a lovely voice come through my speakers, a voice smooth as silk, rich as velvet, and irresistibly seductive.
A voice that made me feel chills down my spine.
"This is Commander Laurette of the Galactic Police Force."
I couldn't believe it.
"We have found you. Jak 'the Bandit', surrender and disable all ship functions, or we will be forced to fire upon your vessel. You will not escape this time, you bad boy!"
I just stared at the ships in front of me, looking at the GPF logos plastered all over in that absurd mustard yellow color. While body was still, my mind only thought one thing.
"Oh shit...".
She finally caught up to me.
Stacy Laurette, "the Inferno", was here.
Hero of the GPF, the bane of criminals the galaxy over, and publicly celebrated as the fourth greatest violinist of the current age.
Also, she is my ex.
I leave it to you to decide which part of her description is the most intimidating.