Gilgamesh restarts the conversation after his little prank.
"You're probably going about it the wrong way. Like I said earlier, mana doesn't flow freely in the world. Some materials store mana inside themselves, some allow it to freely pass right through, and some block the passage of mana. Air is a borderline substance, as in it lets some mana through, but not all. It has been determined that air won't store mana under any circumstances."
Is that simply due to the horrendous density of the stuff?
"So, what you're getting at is that mana doesn't reside in the air?"
"Yes, that's exactly right. However, my point is that you need to bring the mana to your palm through your body, not the air. Imagine the mana traveling from the base of your feet, up your chest and down your arm to your hand."
I see what he's saying, but I can't wrap my head around why air won't hold mana. Why wouldn't it? The density perhaps? Maybe the air does hold some, but the better mages just can't make use of it yet. Well, I can figure out the specifics later. For now, that is a fact, and I shall abide said fact.
I take a similar pose to the one earlier, and I imagine myself plundering the earth of its mana with my feet. I continue to experiment with the feel of gathering mana by attempting to greedily grab more, and then trying a conservative, ecological approach.
I pause for a few seconds, and while relaxing ask Gilgamesh a question.
"So, what am I supposed to be feeling when I successfully transfer mana into my feet?"
He lights his hands ablaze for a few seconds then abolishes the fire.
"Well, mana sorta just feels tingly. It's hard to describe, but you'll definitely recognize that something is going on when you feel it, so don't worry about."
Fucking vague asshole. Fuck this is a pain. It feels like I'm making no progress whatsoever!
I angrily punch nothing.
"Ha… Well, that was a stretch to begin with. This isn't an anime. I'm not going to get my newfound powers by throwing a hissy fit."
"No, you're not, but don't be discouraged. This stuff takes time, but you need to focus if you want to have time for the next steps. Also, what's an anime?"
"Nothing, nothing."
Whoo, Okay. That was a slip of the tongue, that's for sure. So, deep breathes, this much is trivial.
I take a relaxed stance and breathe deeply while honestly begging the mana in the earth to abide my will.
Please, come to me.
After holding the position for a few seconds, I feel a tingling sensation gnaw at the base of my feet.
It feels like… my feet fell asleep, and yet, I still have all feeling in my feet.
I further urge the mana to flow into my left palm. I feel the mana claw its way through my nervous system from my calves, into my chest and out into my arm. After it starts to settle in every crevice of my hand, the mana keeps pouring in until mana is backed up all the way out to my shoulder.
This could be an issue. I need to let it out by converting it into fire.
Sorry to ask more of you after you've done so much for me, but I need you to burn off now.
I help ease the mana in my arm into my hand until I feel an immense force pressure the underside of my hand. When it breaks through fire erupts out of my hand. I panic and aim up into the sky out of fear for the trees. The fire continues to shoot into the heavens as I feel the buildup ease down my arm until it all lies solely in my hand. The fire slowly decreases range and dies completely, as it's synchronized to the magic power in my hand which also died out.
"Holy shit. That was fucking awesome!"
Those were the only words that I could exclaim in my awe after the spectacular event that would start my career as a mage.
I'm impressed by the safety of spellcasting; the skin on my hand is unscathed.
"Wow. That was a lot of firepower for your first time. How's your arm feeling?"
"Actually, it feels completely fine. Maybe I have a knack for this, eh? Haha."
"Well, I'm not going to let you get conceited quite yet."
Gilgamesh stops talking and exposes his palms to the sky. After a few seconds, he unleashes a roaring blast into the sky that is incomparable to mine.
Haha, all I can do is laugh in sheer awe of the scale. How thick was that? How hot? I understand that despite magic being underdeveloped, the potential here is the real deal.
What I'm interested in researching is the effects of an amplifier, like a wand or staff of sorts. Chanting might be a stretch, but it's worth a shot to see if chanting amplifies the magic power, too. I doubt it, though, because it seems the ceiling is the amount of stress that mana puts on the body.
"So, Gilgamesh, the only real limit on the scale of magic is the stress it puts on the body, correct?"
He grins sadly for a moment, and replies.
"I'm guessing what you're getting at here. Yes, you're right. Theoretically, if you channel mana through something else, and directed it from there, the scale could potentially be massive. The problem lies in finding said material.
"Believe it or not, I was actually a big-shot in the fire university, so I'm pretty knowledgeable about the recent developments of magic.
"The percentage of mana that can flow through humans on average isn't 100. That's where the natural talent part I talked about earlier kicks in. This is impossible to measure, but some have conjectured that the amount that degrades the body is, on average, about half. On the low end, it's equal, so it's very dangerous for untalented people to attempt grand spells. Conversely, on the high end, the magician only receives ¼ of the impact. So, the amount of the force you absorb is exponentially reduced the less magic your body blocks.
"Now, since obviously even half of that fire I produced earlier would fry a person, you might be confused. For an unexplained reason, right as the mana gets turned into a spell, the amount of energy skyrockets. The amount of change is consistent throughout every school, however, we're not sure by how much. Since we have no way to calculate the amount of mana produced, only magic, the number could be anywhere."
I see, so it's like an exothermic reaction that creates energy as the reaction is occurring. The part about people being exponentially more resilient to mana is interesting.
"Alas, I've gotten off track. The point is, the human body is already very capable at mana manipulation. The problem with other catalysts is that they all tend to store mana, unlike us. So the rate of mana that flows is significantly reduced. On top of that, when the amount of mana stored passes a certain threshold, the catalyst suffers serious side effects depending on the material.
"Take wood, for example. When the idea was first thought up, wood was the first choice. After numerous experiments, we calculated that the amount of mana that flows through is only about 30 percent. After a certain time, no matter what type of magic is being cast, the wooden catalyst spontaneously combusts without fail. The heat produced is hot enough to completely burn off the caster's hand, bone and all, burn off all the tissue up to the elbow, melt all skin on that side of the body off, and light their clothes and hair aflame."
Oh my God, that's mortifying.
"Sorry to interrupt, but does anyone survive that extent of damage? Also, who exactly continued to cast spells after the initial results?"
"Well, usually crime slaves or war prisoners are forced to. None of them survive. Firstly, we don't go out of our way to save mere criminals, and that's if we even had the means to save them. The damage is too extreme, and the wounds are too easy to get infected."
Well, I expected as much, but that's really intense. I know I can't be squeamish if I want to succeed in a dog-eat-dog world, but I don't have enough sociopath in me to melt a human being. I have no qualms with killing an animal in cold blood, but I feel that humans are above my bottom line.
"The other materials were various metals and rocks. They all had the same results. The metal and rock were far worse than wood. After all, the wood burns instantly, but iron and steel explodes vigorously. Metals start to heat up, then vibrate and shake, then explode with enough force to level a house. Needless to say, there isn't anything left of those who use it. A catalyst made of various smelted rocks will liquify, leaving a small pool of lava as a legacy. While not having the same initial force as steel, the lava can result in serious damage.
"So, yes, in case you haven't noticed yet, magic is nothing to play around with. It is a military tool used for the annihilation of our country's enemies."
This is hitting me hard. I guess I've always thought magic was something fun and mysterious, but in reality, it's a vicious killing machine.
I'm not so sure about this now. I don't think I have the mental stability to live in this awful world. I mean, who have I been kidding this whole time?! I'm just a goddamn normal person who's been given a chance to throw away his humanity and become a demigod. I can't do that. I've been raised in a docile society where only a very select few kill people.
I've been taking this whole thing seriously, and yet at the same time as a joke. I honestly thought I could just swallow my stomach and kill someone. Maybe I should just get a normal job, one where I could use my gifts and just live a normal life where murder isn't a commodity.
But how do I get out of the military? I'm already officially in it, so if I leave now I would be deserting. I'd get locked up forever if I were to be caught. Oh, God, what do I do?!
"Hey, Rigel, are you feeling OK? Sorry for scaring you there, I only wanted you to understand that this isn't a game, nor is magic a toy. If you're having problems stomaching the idea of ending someone's life with your own hands, then always remember these words. Every man you encounter of the battlefield has been forced to resolve his heart and accept that he will kill, and he may be killed in return at any moment. If they didn't accept that fact, then he would've already deserted. While it's true that some men are forced to participate in a kingdom's seemingly unjust war, it's in return for their very lives and livelihoods. So, stop crying and remember that every man is in the same position as you out there. If the stress ever overflows and you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be there for you. After all, you are now my pupil."
Gilgamesh smiles broadly. I wipe away the light tears and gaze back at the man contently.
We resume practice and do so hard all the way into the night.