Laz didn't know what he was doing. He just stood there and watched while this whip like phallus was waving back and forth. It looked like a snake ready to pounce on its pray. His mind was about ready to shut down due to the craziness of the situation
Joey just stood in the same spot while glaring at Laz with a look of ridicule. He was content to just let Little Joey take care of this unwelcome guest so that he could get back to his play time.
Tony was frozen in the kitchen, unable to accept the reality that was reality that was outside his tolerance range.
"He he he, looks like a good meal. If it was a little bigger, I probably wouldn't be able to eat it in one bite. Stand still and this will be over quicker. It might even be less painful that way," Little Joey mocked as it locked on to its target.
Little Joey opened his grotesque 'mouth' widened and enlarged it till it was as big across as Laz was. It looked like a giant mouth attached to a tube. If this was any normal creature, there would be no way it could actually fit Laz into it. But it seemed like it was going to be able to function like a giant python and swallow Laz in one gulp before breaking down his body.
Laz's brain finally settled on a thought, 'there is no way in hell I'm going to be killed by some guy's monster dong." It wasn't the most helpful thought his brain could have had, but at least it finally settled down.
Laz took one more step back and realized that in a couple more steps, his back would be against the door. That wasn't a place he wanted to be. After the gun jog his Grandpa Bill put him through, he knew that in a situation that was constantly changing, he needed to stay mobile.
Stopping his retreat, Laz firmly set his feet on the floor and started focus on the creature in front of him. He needed to see its move before it happened so that he could dodge it and try to think of a way out of here.
He had completely forgotten about Tony in the kitchen while faced with this demonic trouser snake.
Little Joey stopped swinging after his mouth had reached a good size and started following Laz's movements, looking for an opening. He didn't know why, but he sensed a faint trace of danger from the tiny human standing in front of it, especially when it started to firm itself up and focus.
The change was similar to how a Lion could be grooming itself and lazing about, but all the sudden crouch low and bare it's fangs, ready to attack once it noticed it's prey. Little Joey didn't like this feeling.
It decided it would be best to eliminate Laz as fast as possible. It's head mouth suddenly stopped moving and snapped forward, lunging for Laz. Laz who had taken a firm stance, bent his left leg and dropped into a crouch to avoid the attack.
Little Joey's attack zipped right by and almost collided with the wall before he came to a stop, confused as to what to do now that it's attack had missed. Although Little Joey had the instinct of how to move and fight, it didn't have experience with doing so since it was so young. Although it was momentarily confused, Little Joey would recover quick since that's how instinct works.
Big Joey, noticing it's mistake decided to yell out, "How did you miss? He's right there. Just lean to the side and bite him to death. No need to make it so flashy."
Although Big Joey and Little Joey were connected, they didn't share the same brain and therefore didn't know what each other was thinking without communication.
Laz noticed it's mistake along with it's confusion and figured now was the time to act. He sprung up from his crouched position and latched on the the portion of Little Joey behind his head with his right hand while his left grabbed on farther down to prevent him from swinging around freely, the same way someone would handle a snake.
Little Joey was furious and started to swing around, trying to get his head around to bite this pest. Laz wasn't going to let go and now that he had dragged down the swinging dong, he noticed Tony staring blankly in the kitchen.
Laz was thankful he had come into contact with so many weird things in the past few days that at least he could get past the shock and take action. This also must have been what both his grandpas had been wanting for him as well.
Tony, despite seeing a lot of things during his time on earth, just couldn't process this. A man's penis was talking, had grown several meters and even had a mouth full of teeth. Being ignored also didn't help him to wake up any faster as he just looked on like an unrelated bystander.
"WOULD YOU FUCKING SHOOT HIM ALREADY?" Laz screamed out while trying to pin the massive head mouth under his knee to get more control over it. There were several times it had almost lifted him straight off the floor or tipped him over, but thanks to his unnatural strength, he was able to hang on.
His blood was burning wildly as he fought, giving him a surge of blood lust. Having never experienced this before, he didn't feel comfortable yielding to it and was able to keep his mind, but the more he fought, the more excited he became.
Is this what it's like to be a hero?
"Ha, trying to distract us with tricks won't work. The only other person here is my little baby and she's not helping anyone," Big Joey roared with laughter and then spread his palm out in an exaggerated way, showing the 'empty' apartment. As he was finally motioning towards the kitchen, he finally noticed Tony and froze.
Little Joey, sensing the change in the other, pried his mouth head around to 'look' and also saw Tony.
Being looked at by these two was finally what caused Tony to wake up. He pulled the gun from his back and took aim at Big Joey, knowing that he otherwise risked shooting Laz.
Without bothering to say and useless words, Tony fired 3 shots at Big Joey, hitting him in the back and side 3 times. Although a little blood flowed out of the wounds, the bullets barely penetrated the skin.
"NO WAY!" Tony yelled in disbelief.
"What? WHAT WHAT WHAT? I'M ALIVE? I'M FUCKING BULLET PROOF!" Joey got excited and roared to the heavens. He had been too slow to move and was innately fearful of guns, but now he was excited beyond belief.
'AIM FOR HIS FACE, CLOWN" Laz yelled once more while still struggling.
Tony took aim again but this time Big Joey reacted, bringing his arms up to block his face. Although he now knew his skin was bullet proof, that didn't mean his eyes and inside his mouth were. He wasn't going to take any chances.
Tony fired round after round towards Joey's head, trying to get lucky, but his arms blocked most of the bullets.
"See that? See that? We are unstoppable. Hmm... maybe instead of killing you right away, I should knock you out and then have some fun with you. Big Joey's wouldn't let me have fun inside the woman since he wanted to keep her alive, so I couldn't only do some stuff on the outside. But with you two here, I could do anything I wanted."
Little Joey's sick thought made Laz finally lose out to the rushing blood lust. He stood up off of Little Joeys 'neck' and once again assumed a firm, horse like stance while still holding Little Joey in both hands.
Breathing deeply, Laz suddenly roared and using every ounce of strength he could muster, pulled his hands in opposite directions.
Feeling his 'neck' stretch in an unnatural way, Little Joey was finally alarmed and struggled with all his might to get free, but it was already too late.
Laz's eyes were glowing a fierce bright red as he stretched with everything he had, causing the skin to rip apart with a sound like tearing paper.
The door suddenly pounded open and three men tried entered the doorway at the same time but froze in their tracks. All they could see was a kid ripping apart a giant monster snake that was coming from a guys crotch while their boss, Tony, was firing away like crazy at the same guy who was covering his head and screaming.
"..."