I don't know when or where did this start, but I have this habit of mine, every single damn night.
Even though it burdens me because it affects my psychological being. Whether the weather is cold or sizzling hotly, my feet have this mechanism to hide under the blanket as well as not to get too close on the ends of the bed.
Even if I'm uncomfortable, I always bury my feet. My parents told me that I was awfully coward for myself; I'm already this old but I get scared too easily. I know that I look foolish and silly, but I am just following my intuition. When I see others pleased with their feet outside their blanket, I get too fidgety and nag them to hide their feet. And of course, they get irritated by me, so, I just stopped reminding them.
This night, I am alone in this large-sized bed. My cousin and I share this room with one bed. At first, she was annoyed to only have one bed, but since the landlady reduced the price, my cousin compromised to stay here. Honestly, I was secretly scared to sleep alone and was rejoicing because we could sleep together, however, I never thought that this time will arrive. Me, sleeping alone.
I am scared, but I need to face my fear. I've steeled my heart and slowly drawn the soles of my feet outside. It was splendid just as I thought.
Not long after, my damn anxiety kicks in again. My heart rate was getting faster and faster, and even though the room is cold, my body release sweats all over, even my hands are starting to get cold. My head is throbbing and throbbing, I could even hear as my heart beats louder and louder each time like, it was going to stop any moment. I close my eyes and calmly withdrawn my feet back to the blanket, away from the end of the bed. Screw it, I feel much more secure this way. My vitals are going normal and heaved a sigh of relief. I thought this night was just another night, not until that chilly voice speaks up...the very core of my fear.
"Tsk. I should have taken it immediately..."