I'm in pain and you put me here. Have you ever thought that about someone, in your life? Have you ever stared into space so long that the sun goes down? Then as you sit in that darkness too sensitive to go back to your safe place all of those doubts argue with your confidence until even moving is uncomfortable...
People try to walk the same steps in the same shoes expecting the weather to stay warm and your footsteps silent. It's different walking without that person without your side. It's more than pain, it is yearning. It is anger. It is pure loneliness. So how do you keep going when your favorite route is blocked? You take a different path. A path that may lead to more pain but at least your moving and will continue moving until one day your bones cease. Then you consciously applaud yourself for coming so far.
Layla, "You need to make a choice right now, one that will change everything." In that small room sat one woman ready to go and the other unsure where to go too. Ally sat coldly, gradually worn down by this new revelation. Luna wasn't her savior at all, she was like cancer gradually spreading calamity throughout her life
Ally, "I want to hear it from her own mouth first before I decide anything." Layla nodded and sipped at her tea watching as a battle ensued inside this troubled hybrids head. Luna had hurt her worse than anyone else. Worse than George, worse than Shadow. Worse than herself...she never knew that was possible.
Luna, "Ally, I'm sorry I never wanted this for you. Ever..." Her voice held so much pain it made Ally's eyes unconsciously fill with tears. You knew this day would come, but you made the brave decision to cut our time short.
Ally, "You should have told me, Luna. Everything that has happened to me in my life I blamed myself for. I've made some bad decisions for my family and myself, those I don't blame you for. But, losing my memory. Almost losing my child. Drawing Sol to me. That was you, right? That was your calamity." Luna silently nodded at her with her head so low to the floor. Ally clenched her fists knowing...that this will never end. Everyone she loves will always be at risk as long as she's here. Ally felt a shiver of anxiety down her spine and opened them to Layla in desperation.
Ally, "What will happen to Luna if I reject her?" Layla looked slightly sorrowful carefully placed her tea down and folded her delicate hands.
Layla, "She'll die, or be erased in better terms. You have to understand fallen gods cannot survive without a compatible vessel, right now you are the last of the bloodline. You were her last chance." Ally clutched her chest. Luna chose her? Even though she could have waited... As tears rolled down her pale cheeks Layla also felt her heartbreak. Luna was her oldest friend but all good things must come to an end.
Layla, "Ally I know you don't want to do this but think about your daughter. The people you love will always be at risk--"
Ally, "I KNOW THAT! I KNOW THEY WILL SUFFER BUT IT'S HARD TO DECIDE THE FATE OF SOMEONE I'VE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE WITH!" Layla got a shock as a deep guttural yell escaped her mouth. Ally began panting gripping her head and rocking on the chair. Layla couldn't bear to see this young girl shatter any longer.
Luna, "Come back." A small peaceful voice called out to Ally making the intense throbbing in her chest settle. Quickly she shut her eyes until Luna's figure stood ahead of her. Luna wasn't sulking or crying anymore, her face was kind and cheerful.
Ally, "Why does it have to be this way? Why can't I save you?" Luna shook her head and placed her soft white hand on Ally's wet cheek. A feeling of love and yearning flushed through her veins.
Luna, "I've watched you grow from a sickly angry child into a strong beautiful mother. This time that I have shared with you has been the happiest time of my life, even though I've caused you such sadness you still cry for me. That's why I was so greedy with you. Because Ally you were the daughter I never got to see." Ally gripped her hand back desperately.
Ally, " How could I not cry! You're part of me, Luna, from the second I was born you were there guiding me. I finally accepted you as my strength and now... you're my enemy? Where's the logic in that...it's too cruel." Splinters of agony pierced her shins until those tired knees hit the floor. Luna crouched don brushing aside her beautiful curly black hair. Ally knew they were separate entities right now, like two people meeting on the street. It would be her choice, her decision to sever it and that...killed her.
Luna, " The pain that your feeling right now is nothing compared to what will come if you keep me with you Ally. I don't want to bring you pain anymore, I want to see you happy."
Ally, "If your so prepared to leave then why did you stay so long, you've made this suffering so much more intense by being greedy. If you openly admitted to observing me then I would have been fine with this but now your such a huge part of me y-" Her shrieking voice was halted as a smooth white hand covered her eyes, sending her into a peaceful space. Layla's voice whispered into it calmly but firmly.
Layla, "Please stay calm. Your body is going into shock, whatever is happening needs to stop very quickly." Ally froze...so that's what the intense waves were, almost like the ticking of a clock. If she was in shock, didn't that mean she was dying? Luna quickly slapped her hands on both cheeks and looked at Ally straight on in desperation.
Luna, "Now that your body knows I'm no good for you it will reject me, your the only one holding in Ally you have to let go!"
Ally, "I don't want too!"
Luna, "YOU HAVE TOO, FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR FAMILY YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO! PLEASE ALLY!" They both screamed at each other endlessly both subconsciously listening to the loud beating inside them getting faster and faster with each second. Ally was losing valuable oxygen through shouting.
Layla, " Ally your heart is going into distress, you have to let go!"
'Let go? You all make it sound so easy. Almost like setting a bird free from its cage. Discounting the fact that the bird enjoyed the safety and maintenance of its cage. What if it were let go just to be snatched by a bird of prey? What do you know about letting go? But...wait...'
Ally looked up at her bright moonlight eyes, and flowing white hair entangled around her face, those eyes. It was like looking into a mirror.
'You're also afraid, right? I see...I see it now. You don't want to let go either but you're doing this for me. That love I gave to you wasn't one-sided at all, was it? You're pretty stubborn just like me, you fight with your fists instead of your words...just like me. You're a lost soul...just like me. You need to let go...just like me...'
Ally, "Give me your hand."
Luna, "We don't have ti-!" her grasp was forced into something pulsating, it was warm and pleasant. It didn't beat fast or slow.
Ally, "In here. If I let you go promise you'll stay here. I'm begging you." What was she talking about, Ally didn't have time for small talk then a sudden feeling of calm overcame Luna. And like trees had grown all around them the blinding intense white light died out. Luna stared questionably at Ally who had a pair of golden scissors in her hands. What the hell was going on?
Ally, "I don't want to let you free without telling you one last thing." she said with a painful smile. Luna also left a teardrop on her vessels red cheeks. Everything seemed more comfortable than before, there was no longer a storm tearing them apart but a single loose string that connected them.
Luna, "What is this Ally?" Not even she knew the answer, it was just an ideal escape filled with insignificant things requiring little thought.
Ally, "This is where I imagine you in my mind, whenever we talk it's always in here because this is our space. This is where you burrowed into me when I was born, called out things to me when I needed help, where you tried to stitch me back together." So that was it...this was Ally's ideal space. A space she had been placed in intentionally. Meaning she was important.
Luna, "I was always watching you so I never got the chance to look at where I was. Why would you bring us here now of all times Ally?" Luna didn't want to sound rude or ungrateful but Ally's heart was still in danger she could feel it.
Ally, "I figured in order to know your truly gone I have to erase the room I made along with you." It was almost frustrating watching Ally trying to put on a strong front while crying.
Luna, "I understand. Please stand up and face me, Ally." With shaky feet and tensed shoulders, Ally pulled herself up from the ground. That string combining them was skin tight cutting off the circulation to her pinky finger.
Ally, "Your still not looking." Slowly Ally faced her and pointed to the shadowed tree behind her. Luna squinted to read what it said but when she did a small part of her fell to pieces and the other burst with joy. Written in Ally's handwriting was her family tree. Right above Lilly's name and Ally's under the title of mother...was her name.
Luna, "Why would you do that, after everything I've done to you?" Ally smiled kindly her bright wolf blue eyes boding proudly at her work.
Ally, "Because you raised me and helped me give birth to my daughter. I may have had a painful life but...I wouldn't change it for the world. You are a part of me I have to let go, not a part I want to forget." Luna bit her trembling lip and fell forward into Ally's arms. A weak feeling in her chest made her body go limp, Ally tightly embraced her with every last strength. Luna could feel a stinging sensation in her finger and looked to see a golden string shining in the sunlight hanging with no end connected to it.
Luna, "I thought I'd feel colder." Ally let out a small cry and held her tighter until Luna could barely breathe. This is what humans call yearning right? This is why they hold onto something so tightly in life.
Ally, "Shhh *Hic* try not to talk." Luna felt another jolt of exhaustion in her bones. Feeling Ally trembling made her mind feel foggy, such suffering; such devastation... Ally could have severed her then left but instead, she cradled her like a child.
Luna, "I'm sorry Ally." Struggling to hold back her cries Ally flipped Luna over and lay her weary head on her lap stroking her porcelain skin trying to comfort her. Talking was so hard, it felt like regurgitating glass, why can't the words I want to say reach you even in my mind?
Ally, "You have nothing to be sorry for, I should be the one apologizing to you. It's unfair that I have no choice to let you go. But...it's even more unfair that your willing too. Your too cruel Luna." Luna let a small chuckle leave her heaving lungs.
Luna, "I'm cruel, self-preserving, and stubborn. Sound familiar?" Ally also laughed through her cries, like always they were two peas in a pod. Luna began looking pale, lethargic, and tired. It was getting close Ally could feel it. This would be the last time they could talk. What to say? What to do?
Ally, "Luna...I will never forget you. And, I---" Tears dripped on Luna's eyelashes, it was on the tip of her tongue, that word that would make this perfect but...as soon as she says it. Doesn't that mean she could let go?
Luna, "Ally, It's okay you don't have to say it. I know what your feeling, I can still sense it a little bit. You love me right?" Ally covered her face with her shaking finger and nodded. A lot...I love you a lot. Luna took hold of her hands and gently pried them away.
Luna, "I love you too Ally King. thank you for being my vessel, you taught me so many things. How to love, how to fight, how to take pride in yourself, preserve other species. There are so many things I could say but you already know because you were always there beside me. I'm sorry I have to go but it's time Ally. I'm tired."
'I know you're tired but could you maybe hold on just for a little bit longer? I know I'm being selfish but please don't go yet. I don't want to wake up alone. I don't want to watch the light leave your eyes...'
Ally, "Does it hurt?"
Luna, "Not even a little bit."
Ally, "Are you sad?"
Luna, "With you here I'm okay. I always thought death would be lonely but somehow...it's really peaceful." Ally smiled and put her head on Luna's chest. That was good she felt comfortable, and that she wasn't alone. Still, hearing her heart get weaker made her own clench to tight.
Luna, "Does it hurt?"
Ally, "More than anything I've ever felt before."
Luna, "Are you sad?"
Ally, "I'm heartbroken..." Luna gave her a pitiful smirk feeling her tears soak her chest. The next few minutes were quiet...small sniffles would often fill the space but then like the final tick of the clock Luna asked one last question...
Luna, " Will you continue fighting once I'm gone?" Ally raised her head, those red puffy eyes from crying looking puzzled at her, then something clicked. Like an answer to her final question.
Ally, "As long as I have people to fight for..." Luna took one last look into Ally's soul and grinned happily. Even without her there inside her heart, those words couldn't have been saying better. Their final exchange of contact told them both that life is short and people are right to cherish those who are loved. That final moment those white teary eyes lost their light, Ally didn't say a word. Didn't return back to reality...she held her and cried. Until her voice went hoarse.
Ally, "I'll see you again...Luna."