Pain is a given in this world, even in fantasy we base our connections on interest. Do we like the same colour, same singer, same hobby? However, pain is something that connects us all, some share more and others feel less. It's a vicious circle, deciding who feel it more and why. Those who feel it more will feel pressured to keep it to themselves and those who don't want to vent it out as quickly as possible. It's situations like these that will lead to tragedy, eradication and funny enough. More pain…
Love and hate are also emotions we all share, you already know what excessive amounts of each will bring. Better yet, is there really such thing as balance between these emotions. Do these emotions really exist at all or do we make them exist. We categorize emotions based on similar experiences, but I don't think these are the same in any person. It's unmeasurable and therefore unreliable. I could hate you one day and then love you the next. The same as I could be in pain one day and not the next. We live in an unpredictable world, one ruled by the emotions of others.
Imagine, you couldn't feel anything. Imagine not caring if a child was hanging off a ledge, or if your family member was being brutally murdered in front of you. Imagine, an empty infertile egg. You belong to nothing, you feel nothing, you are…nothing. Depending on how much pain someone is in will determine if these words were appealing to you. Finally, is the question of how far. How much pain and emotion would you endure before begging to be nothing. To feel nothing?
"What are you writing?" Amy walked up behind Ally, she instinctively closed her laptop. These were hostile thoughts, ones she had been having since the day she saved Jax. That agony she experienced was abnormal and no matter how many times she convinced herself it was subconscious, something had been wrong with her ever since.
"Nothing. What did you write your report about?" Amy sat down next to her and slumped her head heavily on the desk. In her deep red eyes was nothing but anguish and Ally felt sympathy for her.
"It's a tough call, right? If you agree with me it makes you a target, yet if you agree with them it goes against your morals. Why don't you just not admit one, it'll save you a lot of grief." Amy sighed and shook her head.
"That would just make me the middle man. No person likes staying on the fence. Especially when it's converged in spikes." Ally grinned in surprise, she never expected something so relatable to come out of Amy's mouth.
"What was yesterday about anyway?" Ally was sipping her coffee and almost choked, a sudden wave of embarrassment flushed her face leaving it bright red. Amy began laughing quietly into her arm.
"W-What are you talking about?" she said in annoyance. Ally buried her face in her hands. Yesterday, one of the military youths confessed his love for her in the middle of lunch. Ally had never been so openly told about something so intimate.
"He's young and I let him down gently. We never speak of this again understood?" Ally laughed tauntingly before agreeing.
"Still, things are changing around here. Before, they were afraid to get near us never mind confess their feelings. Maybe I should side with you after all."
"It has nothing to do with me in particular. If you force people to see thing the way you do, then what other choice do they have other than to change." Amy began humming away going over Ally's words. Suddenly she sprung up catching Ally by surprise. Ally also felt an overwhelming doom approaching and readied herself. Sure enough, it was the shooter from the van who had killed Jax.
"What a pain…" Ally closed her eyes and sighed before standing up from the table and facing him head on.
"You're one meddling b*tch you know that. I'm on disciplinary because of you!" two of his friends were holding him back so he wouldn't dig his own grave. Ally yawned.
"You can let the animal loose if you like I could use a little entertainment. You call me the monster huh? Take a look at yourself." The man threw his friends aside and picked Ally up by her throat.
"I'm going to kill you. I don't know what the hell the higher ups are protecting you for but quite frankly you're a pain in my ass." Ally frowned at him childishly before wrapping her legs around his neck and performing her signature flying triangle choke before knocking him out.
"Get him a leash, would you?" both of his friend glanced at his sleeping body in shock, he was a big guy. One of the strongest in the unit…the hybrid went hard that was for sure. Amy applauded her before sitting back down.
"You have a good sense of danger and it wasn't even for you. If you hadn't of alarmed me first, he would have caught me of guard for sure." Amy smiled widely, no-one had ever noticed that about her before. Praise from Ally was like a shot of adrenaline, it was rare but very motivating.
"It's nothing compared to that choke you did. Teach me, would you?" Ally laughed at her childish aura. Amy was a hundred years older than her yet looked up to Ally like the elder, it was amusing but exhilarating at the same time.
"Luna, the superiors would like to speak with you." Mika only seemed to pop up whenever it involved her which made Ally suspicious. It was like having a shadow wherever she went, she didn't like it…
"Fine." Ally waved goodbye to Amy and followed Mika up to the higher floors. They still had some animosity between them after Ally's outrage.
"You can't stay mad at me forever." He said childishly fluttering his eyes. Ally rolled hers In return and looked away from him.
"I'll kill one of your guys then were even." Mika hissed, she sure was brutal when she wanted to be.
"I get it okay, I should have kept a better eye on them." Ally scoffed at him with glowing eyes. Mika could feel the bloodlust emanating from her.
"Don't give me that sh*t Mika. You all have your own little assassination squad, the reason he's so worked up right now is because he doesn't see the problem with what he did. It baffles me you could be so passive about it, as their team leader it is your responsibility to make death a last resort, but you let them play with it like little kids. Pathetic!" Mika was backed up against the elevator wall with his heart beating out of his chest. Ally was scary that was for sure, but it wasn't her attitude that made him afraid it was her words.
"I never thought about it like that." Ally clenched her fists and stormed ahead of him, he pissed her off more than she ever thought possible. If you were to lead, then corrupted morals were hateful and dangerous. Mika lacked far too much resolve to be leading a squad of emotionally unstable people.
Ally walked back into the meeting room and was surprised to see the organizers hadn't moved a muscle. George was still center looking at her peculiarly.
"Something has upset you Luna?" Ally sighed at sat at the far end of the table.
"Does it matter? What did you want from me?" George smirked and sat forward, she never failed to amuse him. Either she was overwhelmed with her own turmoil or felt nothing at all.
"You don't trust us yet?" Ally rolled her eyes and stood to leave, this was a waste of time they already knew the answer to that.
"You want answers as to why we asked for your help, I'd be happy to give you them." Ally stopped, the idea was intriguing to her.
"I don't trust anyone, not even my own family. You talk like you know me which bothers me. How would someone like you know me at all, I only came here a week ago." George sat back and bit his nails, she was perceptive.
"Your father helped us find you. Aren't you enticed by that?" Ally sat back down and glared at him murderously.
"Most likely for some sort of gain, my father is a sore subject for me. I'd prefer we don't speak of him." As she spoke two of the members began writing her answers which agitated her. Was this an assessment of some kind?
"Actually, he found you in order to protect you. I know he did some very unnerving things to you, unforgivable things but I think your perception of him is incorrect. Your ruled by hate." Ally felt like ripping off his head, what did he know!
"I perceive people based on actions, nothing else. If your trying to get a reaction out of me dig deeper, that man is nothing more than bad memories, he holds no value in my heart."
"If so, then why is he alive?" Ally clenched her fists tightly until she felt her nails puncture her skin.
"Hard to say. You don't wish death on those you pity. I don't wish death on anyone for that matter, it's troublesome. Why should I suffer for others turmoil when I'm busy with my own?"
"It's your turmoil that decides such things which brings me to my next inquiry. Why did you bring Jax back to life?" Ally chuckled, what a stupid question she thought.
"I brought him back because he was deprived of life. I would have done it for anyone." George smiled, she had fell right into his trap.
"I see. So, why didn't you save yourself. You were deprived of many things in your life. Why did you give up?" Ally looked at him like an idiot what was he implying?
"When your mate Isaac Lake was murdered by ferals, you chose to do the Luna trials knowing full well you would die. You would save a murderer but not yourself. I'd say that was very hypocritical, wouldn't you?" Ally stood up out of her seat breathing heavily trying desperately not to engage even though the anger she felt was impassable.
"I'm a different person to what I was back then. You have no right to use my past against me, I made a mistake based on grief. Losing your mate isn't like losing a lover, it's a loss of the soul. Humans would never understand that!" Ally started taking deep breaths trying to console herself, these words were hurting her.
"Luna, what are you fighting for?" Ally gritted her teeth.
"Myself, my family, my kind, your kind. I'm fighting for everyone. You never did answer my question. Why do you perceive to know me!" George raised both of his hands and his assistants stopped writing.
"I've been indulged in supernatural history since being a young boy, I know every tale. Every murder, every tragedy befallen by your kind. In truth, your story was always my favourite. Love, hate and pain all three very important components to know someone. You haven't changed one bit from that tale, it's quite sad really."
"You would believe a story based on lies, it was fabricated everything you know is false. So, you don't know me after all." George stood up and walked cover to her, his hand reached out to touch her arm, but Ally pulled away.
"Interesting, your afraid to be touched or are you afraid of what comes when I touch you? Your story was fabricated, mine holds nothing but truth. That's enough for today---" Ally cut him off by gripping his throat.
"You don't tell me when I've had enough. You don't know me because I don't know me. If you want a war with me then you've got one." Ally had a frightening threatening look in her eyes that even shook the assistants to their cores. Yet George looked at her head on without breaking even though her grip tightened.
"War? Aren't you the one who usually starts those? Trust me, I don't want to upset you too much, I happen to value life unlike you. Advocacy for things you don't believe in is giving much too hope to those who follow you. You don't like living, but you try to save everyone. Where is the sense in that?" Ally felt like screaming, no-one had ever gotten into her head like this. Every word was tearing her brain apart. George looked in awe to see her nose start to bleed profusely, Ally loosened her grip and backed away. Suddenly, the room began swaying and a sharp pain began pulsating in the back of her head. Like scissors snapping away at each nerve fibre, it was agony.
"Get the medical team up here please." George was now concerned he didn't mean to push her so far. Ally slumped into one of the office chair rocking back and forth trying not to cry with the pain, she was stuck in-between loss of consciousness and self-destruction.
"You sure know how to weaken me, in fact you know far too much for someone who has never met me. Or you used to know me. How naïve could I have been…" Ally managed to find her strength and stood up facing him.
"I am not Luna. Don't ever associative me with her, I may have her soul but I'm not letting mine go anytime soon so try to break me as much as you want. I'll die before I lose to her." George stumbled back in shock, she had worked it out.
"You already know what will happen if she wakes up don't you." Ally chuckled and smiled darkly.
"If I fall…so does everything else. You didn't bring me here to make a difference, you brought me here so history could repeat itself. I knew I shouldn't have trusted anyone, yet I clung to that hope because I was selfish. Love, hate, pain everything you speak of is all materialistic created by our own brains as self-punishment for our sins. Atonement…I don't know what I did in my past life, but I know damn sure it will never happen again. So, then George…give it your all." Ally had a wild look in her eyes so intense Georges legs began to tremble, she was smarter than he thought.
Ally wasn't even certain if that was his true motives everything she was going on was a whim, yet his expression confirmed that she was closer to the truth than he realized.
"Something wrong, did I burst your bubble?" Ally scared the main members it was as if she was an entirely different person, her eyes glowed but didn't hold light they were like empty shells. Just as Ally was about to engage, Mika ran in and gripped her arm snapping her out of it. Ally gasped and snatched her arm away backing off gradually touching the table for measurement, she had blacked out during the heated discussion.
"Hey, what the hell is going on?" Mika was also afraid, Ally had killing intent so strong he could feel it like a form of electricity, like a black cloud slowly consuming him yet when he touched her that intent vanished. Ally couldn't speak and raised both of her hands upwards, they were shaking beyond belief.
"Luna?" Mika walked over and shook her shoulders trying to snap her put of the daze. Ally felt like a sharp stone had invaded her mind and was being violently pushed around her brain, it was unlike any sensation she had previously experienced. Ally looked up at Mika with empty eyes and a worn smile.
"It hurts…" Ally said humorously before falling backwards, her eyes rolling back into her head. Mika just say managed to catch her in time. George looked at his associates with concern as they rose from their seats. Mika tried to bring Ally back around, but it was no use she was out cold.
"Didn't you say, you wouldn't push her so hard, she almost broke." George sighed and lit up a cigarette staring at her sleeping body curiously.
"No, I don't think she was breaking more like fighting the truth. Her body wants her to remember yet her mind fights against it at all costs. Sure, she was smart and had a very unique mindset but all that did was complicate things inside her head." George walked over and placed his hand on her forehead.
"Keep a very close eyes in her Mika, I'm counting on you to keep her alive and sane if possible. I don't want her to die she's too valuable." Mika nodded hesitantly and picked her up. Facing away he addressed the council one final time.
"If he doesn't explain who she really is soon then I'll kill him gladly." George smirked at his determination, Ally had this sort of effect on people, she drew them in with wisdom and kindness. Then, that was it they were under her control. Of course, it was done subconsciously but didn't waver the end results. Although she pushed people away like second nature there was plenty of people who would follow her without reluctance. This was troublesome for the S.E.S as her true intentions were dangerous. Mika carried her out leaving the remaining members baffled.
"Shouldn't she have reacted more strongly to our pressure, it was rather disappointing." One of them was a spoilt blonde young boy, given his title through heritage. George began reviewing her answers.
"Actually, she exceeded my expectation by not raising a hand to me, although I caused her distress her hands remained by her side. It looks like she had control over it, this could be revolutionary." The young blonde boy laughed hysterically.
"Please, I know you have a soft spot for her but come on. That girl is nothing but a reincarnation to be used for our benefit, she'll die as soon as she for fills her purpose. Until then, leave her alone if Luna does wake up then we will do all we can to control her." George smirked and slumped back into her chair.
"Remember, if we push her too far and she brakes, we'll burn in hell for it. Fine, I suggest we put her on leave for three days until she regains mentality. Ask the special squad to ensure she doesn't train or come in contact with any barrack members. I'll leave it to Luther to keep her home." Everyone nodded in agreement and George began writing a review.
---------------------------Home…-------------------------
"What the hell did you do to her Mika?" Luther was holding Ally's pale body in his arms. His whole face covered in hatred, Mika backed off and sighed.
"I wasn't present, the higher ups questioned her. That's everything I know." Luther quickly lay Ally down on the couch and sprung back picking Mika up by his collar.
"I brought her here because she wished for it. Don't make me regret it. Better yet don't make yourself regret it. I told you, I'm in control over what happens to her, if you stray from that I'll kill every last one of you." Luther smiled viciously before throwing him into the hallway and slamming the door. Damien was waiting cautiously on the side-lines, watching his father lose it.
"What did you mean by that?" he asked sternly looking at Ally's sleeping face. Luther bowed his head graciously and faced his son.
"You already know that son, you're a smart kid." Luther sat down and dabbed the sweat from Ally's forehead. Damien walked over and gripped his father's arm gritting his teeth.
"I knew something was off from the minute she arrived. Your lying to her, Ally thinks she's in control but it's still you, isn't it?" Luther pushed his back onto the couch holding his elongated nail inches away from his eye.
"If Luna was in control, we would all be dead by now. You're too naïve son, I can't trust you with the truth. You pity her too much and you'd run your mouth. I'll ask you very nicely. You speak none of this too her, you understand?" Damien was quivering in fear, this look in his eyes was soulless. Psychotic, like his eyes were swallowing him…
"I g-got i-it" Damien was pinned until Luther finally let him go when he had scared him enough.
"Good. I don't want to hurt you Damien but trust me when I say this is for her own good." Damien watched as Luther stared at her with adoration as well as sadness. It was clear his father loved her but for what reason? What were they trying to protect Ally…Luna or everyone else?