"Sarah. I want you to listen to what I am saying and really consider the words behind it. I have spent the last year alongside you, we all have. We have spent a lot of time and energy training you and working on your studies. Guiding you in the ways of a cleric. However, in this time we have also come to know your heart." Tobias had talked with Raelith and Sally before about this, but he was making this decision on his own.
Sarah closed her mouth, gritting her teeth so hard that they hurt. She quietly stared at Tobias paying his attention to his every word.
"The reason I did not tell you to spend the next three days advancing alongside Feylin is because the path of the Order of Life is not conducive with your heart. I think that because this was the first home you had after your last… in your mind it became a crutch for you to rely on. You convinced yourself that the Order of Life was for you.
But over the past year we have watched you and taken care of you." Tobias frowned, he didn't like having to say these things, obviously he knew what kind of effect it would have on her. But at the same time, it was harder to make changes the further down a path you travel. If one day you find out it was the wrong path, many people end up stuck.
This is something Tobias had experienced personally. Old memories floated to the surface when he considered his own life and the wrong decisions he had made.
Early in his life Tobias was a paladin knight for one of the Princesses of the Cinapul monarchy. A lawful and just man who only bowed his head to the law and the kingdom. He spent thirty years in her service and had watched her grow up from a small child…
Tobias shook the thoughts from his mind. His history was long passed, now the most he could do was help someone else with their future.
"Your heart is sturdy, and in many ways impenetrable like stone. This can be a very good thing in life, you will go far no matter what you set your mind to, and you are not distracted easily. To go far with the gods of life though… you need to have a heart that is soft. A heart that bleeds compassion." Tobias eyes softened as he looked at the young girl.
"A stone heart heals no wounds… a heart that bleeds for both friends and enemies is the heart of a person who seeks true peace." His voice was strong, he truly believed in these words. "You can't reach peace through violence, only compassion. Peace garnered through pain and violence is a false peace. Your heart reaches out for those close to you Sarah… but you feel nothing for those who move against you. Like the tribesmen you killed without mercy."
Sarah was paying attention to each word he spoke, she trusted Tobias and knew he wasn't one to lead her wrong. But she frowned at the last thing he said.
"What do you mean the tribesman I killed? He attacked us. You also killed one." Anger seeped through her voice, obviously she was upset by his words.
This time Raelith spoke. "Sarah… I am afraid he is right. We did kill a tribesman as well. Between the three of us… we have been forced to kill many people, for the sake of safety or peace." She let out a sigh. "However, we carry the weight of every person we have ever harmed on our souls. We are of the Order of Life. We hurt for every life taken. We become ill with every injury inflicted. Part of our vow is to only harm when completely necessary." Raelith lifted her eyes and looked directly at Sarah. Their eyes locked, Sarah felt like Raelith was looking through her. "Is that something you can do? In your heart is that how you feel? Or was your heart unmoved when you realized you would need to kill the tribesman."
Sarah bit her tongue and her eyes reddened. Raelith's words cut deep into her. Sarah did not even need to think very hard to know that Raelith was right. Sarah's eyes began to water slightly. "But this is the order I was brought up in!" She couldn't help but scream in her own mind. "How could you not be compatible with it? Am I really… so wrong…?"
"No. You're not a bad person because of it." Everyone's eyes looked towards Jakobson who stood up from his seat. Despite being barely five foot, he commanded a certain level of respect, even from Tobias. Sarah looked up to the man who had taken her in.
"There are a million ways to go through life, and none of them are wrong. Evil exists, but you are not it. You have had the shadow of tragedy in your heart for a long time Sarah. And you need to know that it's there. And that you are okay, even with it being there. Tobias and Raelith are not wrong in their judgements." Jakobson spoke clearly. His words were from experience.
"If you are not in a place to advance with the gods of life, then take care of yourself until you reach that point. But how you are is not wrong. No matter what anyone may think. Steel yourself, Sarah."
Noone watched the small man counsel Sarah. He couldn't help but be impressed by the mindset of this individual. Even Tobias nodded, impressed by Jakobson's will.
Sarah's lips parted slightly and a small 'thank you' wanted to escape from her lips, but instead it only became stuck in her throat. Jakobson nodded, giving her a meaningful look that seemed to be specific to her. When he sat down again his hand hovered near the drawer which contained a special book… but he hesitated and eventually just crossed his arms.
Noone hid a personal smile at the exchange. His own memories drifted back to Tapestry. The young would be graced with the wisdom of the old, and somehow the elders always knew the right thing to say no matter the problem.
Elder Azelle… Noone quietly sighed as he leaned against the wall. I miss you… Noone's eyes stared off into the distance while the rest talked about plans and Sarah sat quietly in her seat. At one point they noticed he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, but they chose to say nothing. Unbeknownst to anyone, the pendant around Noone's neck pulsed gently as he lost himself to his memories.
When Noone finally tuned back in with reality, his eyes were calm and deep. The minor power of universe energy pooled within his pupils.
No matter whether or not Noone continued to follow these people, he had an ultimate goal and mine. There was someone out there waiting to be purged, and Noone took it upon himself to do so. And somewhere out there – hopefully – Adria might still be alive.
One by one everyone left the room. The sun had already set by the time plans were finished, and the world embraced the night.
"Noone, follow me. There's an empty room near mine that you can use while we are here." Sarah's eyes were sunken and red from anxiety. Her voice was hollow. Noone couldn't help but feel that she would need a while to recover, even despite Jakobson's talk.
As they were about to walk off together, Jakobson spoke from his seat in the office – calling out to Sarah. "Sarah. One moment, please? Come in and shut the door, I only need you for a few minutes."
Sarah looked at Noone who nodded back. He would wait for her in the hall.
Sarah walked back in the office, shutting the door behind her. Noone sat down next to the door, quietly extending his senses into the room. He did not expect to learn important per-se, but he couldn't help his curiosity.
"It's not nice to eavesdrop, Noone." Suddenly a woman's voice spoke out. He looked over casually, just a little ways down the hall Raelith was approaching. At first he was going to defend himself, but when he saw her smile he couldn't help but chuckle. Raelith was picking on him.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He said sheepishly, not even bothering to try and be convincing.
"So, is that ability something all of your people have?" Raelith asked, she sat down next to Noone. She didn't really have any business with him, she just enjoyed conversation.
"Hmm." Noone thought about it for a while. "I am not sure. I don't think so. I've told you about what life there was like for me. Although they could sense each other, I don't think it was to the degree that I can see things. I am almost positive actually." Noone paused. "How did you do that thing before by the way? Blocking your hand so I couldn't see it."
Raelith lifted her hand in front of her. Noone watched as she held up two fingers, however when Noone looked with his extended sight, it was as though her hand was shrouded in fog.
"I don't mind telling you. Honestly it is just a little trick. See the bracelet on my wrist?" She twisted her arm shaking the small silver chain. "I am channeling a small prayer through it. The power of the prayer is creating a distorted realm around my hand which is connecting with my gods." She chuckled. "Apart from teasing young mages who learn 'magic sight' it doesn't have any practical effects honestly."
"Magic sight?" Noone asked.
"Mm. It is a spell that allows a mage to view everything around them in a certain area. Although it is tough on the mind and they can only use it carefully. The human mind is not equipped for such a strain."
"Hmm." Noone put a finger to his chin in thought. His eyes narrowed. "Are there other people who can see like that?"
"Well. Most classes have some variation on it." Raelith thought for a moment. "Certain clerics have something we call divine sense. Some races have extended sight based on their environments. Elementals and wood elves for example. Also, druids. Although it is less 'divine sense' and more hypersensitivity… Much of the world's classes have similar abilities, but they are channeled and created from different means."
Noone thought about what he said. "Divine Sense, huh? I like how that sounds.