"Ben," I heard Miss Rivers call my name as the school siren rung for the next period. Everyone in my critical thinking class had started packing up to leave, and I barely heard her above the noise of desks and chairs being moved and arranged.
"Please wait behind," she said, voicing my worst fear. Wyatt and Ji-Hun gave me apologetic looks as they packed up their books. Aiyana didn't seem to notice what had happened because she was busy on her phone.
The class emptied out soon after, and it was just me and Miss. Rivers. I stood by the table I'd been sharing with the rest as Miss. Rivers stared on at me from her position beside her desk. I watched her look away, picking a spiral bound report from her desk before heading over to me. She stopped in front of me, handing the report over before folding her arms across her chest.
"What is that?" she asked as her filled in brows cocked into a frown. I looked down at the report, opening it to find the first sheet with my name printed in a large bold text. It was my personal statement that I'd submitted a day ago.
"My personal statement," I muttered under my breath before looking up to find Miss. Rivers rearranging the bangs of her brown hair that she'd cut into a pixie cut.
"That's your personal statement?" she asked, making me nod slowly at her question. She shook her head, reaching her hand out to me. I looked at her pale palm for a while before eventually handing the personal statement over to her. I watched her flip through the two-page large font print out as she shook her head.
"This is your personal statement?" she repeated before looking up at me. "Ben, this is roughly five hundred words of you rambling on about school work. Save the fact that it's below the eight hundred word limit, I don't see anything here that will point me to what your career choice is, or at least a miniature plan for the future."
I hung my head, feeling my throat clog up. Why was she asking me about this? It's just a stupid class project, she should have just gone ahead and failed me.
"Ben, what do you want to do in the future? What about school? What school do you want to attend?" she asked, making me look down at my sneakers as I tucked my shaking hands into the pockets of my trousers.
"I don't know. I'm not going to college," I eventually said. The bustle of moving to the next class had probably ended since there was less noise coming from the hallway behind the classroom door. I looked up a little, catching Miss River's unimpressed look.
"Why?" she asked as her red colored lips curved down in a frown. "You could easily get a scholarship, so the problem is definitely not money."
"I just—I just want to work at my dad's repair store."
"Is that what you really want? You seem unsure. If that was really what you wanted I would have seen it right here," she said, looking down at the report in her hand. "Have you tried to look up anything at all? You know, to see if there are any courses you'd like to do?"
I shook my head at her words, making her nod. She turned away from me, heading back to her desk. I watched her drop the report, making to search through her drawers. She eventually took out some magazines and pamphlets before heading back to me.
"Please look through these and tell me what you think about any of these colleges and the courses they offer. I'd like you to tell me soon as well," she said, handing the stack to me. I nodded, turning to my bag that was sitting on the wooden table to put the pamphlets into it.
"Wait, let me write you a late pass," she said as I zipped up my bag. I waited by the desk and she eventually returned with a piece of paper that she handed over to me.
I thanked her, although I was having mixed feelings. She nodded at me, adjusting the collar of her blouse before she spoke.
"I double as a teacher and a counselor. You can always come to me if you want to talk," she said with a small smile, making me mimic the action awkwardly before leaving the class. I headed for my Building Tech class next, apologizing to the teacher as I showed him the note Miss Rivers had given me.
Class went by quickly, and it was soon time for lunch break. Aiyana asked if something had happened because of how moody I was acting, but I lied and told her that I was doing fine. She didn't look like she believed me, but she respected my space and turned and continued her conversation with Ji-Hun instead.
I played with my lunch until the siren rung, indicating that it was time for the study period. The rest decided to stay in the study room, while I headed to the main library to get a book to reference for my Building Tech paper.
I signed in at the main desk before heading to the area for textbooks arranged according to particular subjects and grades. I searched for ages, almost deciding to give up until I felt a nudge on my shoulder. I turned with a frown on my face, but it dissolved when I saw Felix standing beside me with his signature dimpled smile.
"What are you looking for?" he asked, making me turn back to the bookshelf in front of me. There were rows and rows of books, but I couldn't spot the fifth edition of the textbook I was looking for.
"The fifth edition of the Building Tech textbook," I muttered, picking at my short curly hair. "Funny, because I saw about five sitting on the top shelve last week. They just gave us the assignment so I doubt anyone from my grade has taken any."
"Oh," Felix let out with a small laugh. I looked over at him with a confused look, wondering what on earth he was laughing about. "We have a project too, and the books got cleared a day ago, sorry."
Felix chuckled, feeling his chin as his eyes darted from one corner of the library shelf to the other. It was then he suddenly reached out for the shelf just above the one I'd been checking. He pushed aside the fourth edition books to reveal a Building Tech textbook hidden at the back.
"I don't like taking books out of the library, so I hid it," he whispered, taking it down. "We can share it."
I nodded, feeling my face warm up as he pat my cheek affectionately before turning and heading for a table a distance away.
Am I supposed to follow him? I asked myself, watching him settle down on a sit by the table. He'd already set up his laptop and everything.
Of course you idiot. How else are you supposed to share the textbook?
I finally scolded myself, picking up my bag from the tiled floor before heading towards the table Felix was sitting by. I took the seat beside him, dropping my bag on the table before taking out the books I needed to work with. As I set up my computer, I heard munching, making me turn with a raised brow to find Felix slipping Cheetos into his mouth.
"What?" he asked, picking another one from the mini pile he'd created behind the book he was supposedly reading.
"You're not supposed to be eating in the library..." I trailed, making him roll his eyes at me.
"Just admit that you want some, don't try and blackmail me," he accused, making me chuckle lightly. I reached out my hand and he poured some Cheetos into it before sneaking the bag back under the table.
I worked on my project beside him as I did everything from smile and chuckle at Felix's behavior. He wasn't a library person at all. He was eating, listening to music, and talking in a tone that made the librarian send glares towards our table from her position behind the desk by the entrance.
"Hey, you said you have sisters," Felix said, making me look up from my work. He's been doing that since we settled down — talking, that is.
"Yes," I answered, trying to return to my work as he rested his head on the table and stared directly at me.
"What are their names?"
"Chloe, she's sixteen and my other sister's Samantha, who's fourteen."
Felix nodded at my words, yawning before looking over at the wall clock up ahead. "Can this period be over yet? I don't care if I'm having an actual class after this. I just don't want to be here," he whined making me chuckle lightly.
"Why did you ask about my sisters?" I asked, looking down at his mop of dark hair. I wanted to run my fingers through it, but I couldn't for very obvious reasons.
"I'm just trying to stay awake by talking," he admitted, playing with a stray pen on the table. I laughed at that, covering my mouth when I was hushed by the librarian.
The period eventually ended, and I watched as Felix hid the book again before leaving. Thanks to his talking and whining I hadn't really gotten anything done, but I wasn't angry for some reason.
Even just sitting with him in the library lifted my mood, and I didn't think about what happened with Miss. Rivers too much so I didn't get as upset as I was earlier in the day.
I was still upset, but at least it was less. The rest of the school day went by fast and I was able to walk home with the rest without being a walking vex bomb ready to explode. Aiyana seemed to notice my positive mood change, and she proceeded to chat with me as we walked home. I didn't pay much attention to her since she was talking about YouTube. I just thought about how adorable Felix had been in the library.
We just shared a table. I scolded myself, but it didn't do anything to make my face less warm.