In the morning, Jia could just not get off from the pain. It had been five years and she thought she had already moved on and had learned to love again. The courage she had now in facing Anthon was due to the fact that there was already Jim Wayne. A human heart may be taught to hold someone forever but once it is shattered and broken into pieces, it could also be taught to give up and forget. Yet, it could also be molded and shaped back to beat for someone else.
Jim Wayne came to her life when she was desperately crawling down in the ground, too wounded and battered. It could had been better if she had been angered and betrayed because by flaring up she could have been easily relieved. But, no, it was her choice to accept defeat and go away. It was her choice to give in for someone else's happiness. It was her choice to break him free, even before she had the chance to have him.
But then, she had no right. Absolutely, no right from the very start. She never owned him. It was, maybe, just her silly presumption that those pleading eyes of his were telling her of his love.
Who would have thought that all those times she had been thinking that he was still free, those times when she had been fantasizing him in her dreams as her own, he had already been engaged to her bestfriend? And that his baby was on her abdomen?
And how could her bestfriend be ruthless to think that forgetting was that easy.. "I presumed that over the years, you have already forgotten.. " Grrrr!
She was enraged by this flow of thoughts that made her mind a total mess. How could he be so calm in facing her ? How could he act as a mere classmate in her presence when five years ago, she had given him her total self? How many men out there who were like him who viewed sex as just a game? How many men out there who could easily crack a woman's last shield of dignity without guilt?
But, no, she remembered well his aching voice. There was no pretention at all. She remembered well the honesty when he said, "Let me hold you this once.." And when she yielded, she also gave her heart.
Or perhaps again, she was just a weak and stupid woman who easily believed on empty promises of a man.
Whatever was the truth, she needed to know. Not later, but right then.
" Jia, you need to go and face him. Come back to me once you could look at him straight in the eye without hurting.. " Jim's statement echoed back in her mind.
He who understood her the most, he who accepted her at her worst, he who rejected her past and took her as someone new, did not deserved this betrayal.
She decided to end this soon. She was just not being fair. This was an absolute foolishness!
She needed to face Giselle to test her emotional stability. To see things clearly in its real and perfect shape.
" Anthon, if you don't mind, I need to talk to you and Giselle soon. I wonder if you two could spare few minutes with me?" She spoke gently through the phone.
There was a long pause. And with a questioning voice, he finally replied.
"Giselle? "