"So then, what happened after that?" Ling Ling asked worriedly while stroking her protruding belly protectively.
Ling Ling was fast approaching her due date and was looking tired but still beautiful. During their last visit to the hair salon, she had had her long locks chopped off and now her hair barely past her ears. It made Ling Ling look younger by ages and showed off her big almond eyes a little more.
She really is a gorgeous lady, Yu Yan thought a little distracted..
"Nothing happened. He just kept staring at me without saying a word.I was soo irritated that I was afraid that I might slap him again so I came here directly instead". Yu Yan said still unable to sit down after she came to Ling Ling's cottage in a rush.
Ling Ling took a moment to digest the story Yu Yan was telling her. She could not believe that this petite and calm woman had slapped the ferocious man feared by all who knew him. She knew her sweet Bohai would have been shocked to hear this ,had he been alive.
" You mean you escaped over here.Dont even try to deny it xiao Yan." She accused her friend.
Yu Yan was embarrassed for a moment.
"Well whatever. It was useless to stay anyway"
"But still..What if he gets really mad and tells you to leave his house?...for ever." Ling Ling asked worried for her friend.
"Then I will leave." Yu Yan answered stubbornly.
"you are crazy xiao Yan, you know that?" Ling Ling said exhausted by her friend's inability to communicate and she had thought that she herself was the worst. Ling Ling scoffed internally.
Yu Yan shrugged pretending not to be fazed by Ling Ling's words.
"I was living fine before he came into my life.I will continue to go on living well even after" Yu Yan turned her body away, not meeting Ling Ling's eyes.
Ling Ling sighed tiredly.
" The both of you are weird, I will tell you that. Why don't you guys just talk about it calmly and come to a decision like adults?" The husband had choked his servant in anger and the wife had slapped her husband and escaped over here.. Ling Ling felt a headache coming on.
"I was calm" Yu Yan defended.
"No. You are far from calm. Xiao Yan ,you will need to publicise your marriage sooner or later right? Mr Li is right this time..."
"Yes, 'sooner or later' So why not later?, its not even been a year since we married. I am not even with child. Can't we just wait a little bit before then?" Yu Yan asked getting hysterical, she turned her body away to look out the window onto the greenery outside.She was breathing heavily.
Ling Ling lifted herself wearily from the chair and walked towards Yu Yan.She Held Yu Yan's arm to turn her to face her way.
Yu Yan had no tears in her wide eyes but she looked far from okay.
"What are you so afraid of xiao Yan?"
(Back at the main house)
Li Jun had never been good with words unless he had been force to fake it.
He played his parts well or so he had always thought.
He could play a good son to his mother, a kind and smart boss to his employees, a worthy and calculative businessman to his colleagues, a patient friend to his friends.... a fearsome enemy to his enemies.So, he did not understand why he had not handled his own wife better.
She was his better half afterall. By theory he should be his best when it came to her and he felt he was... until now.
He did not want to be a neglecting husband who only worked; so he brought most of his work at home nowadays and stayed beside her as much as he could.He wanted to make her happy so he worked on the orphange, which was only loses, no profit,only for her. He knew that she wanted her privacy and was accommodating of her.
So when it was time for them to talk seriously about important things, he had failed to do so all the time. One was when he had found out that she wanted to work - another when she had caught him punishing uncle Kao and then; right now.
He had lost his cool all three times, was he truly never going to be able to talk about things with her normally without his need to control every aspect of the outcome? Was he that far gone? Was he that bad that he couldn't even love the one person properly? And even now... when his wife had looked so broken, so helpless, he was surprisingly tongue tight. Li Jun cursed.
He really was useless.
He remained seated where Yu Yan had left him. Amongst the broken table and chairs.
He grind his teeth in anger.
"You must be really happy Li Fai" He snarled into the air.
(Back at Ling Ling's cottage)
"What are you so afraid of xiao Yan? If you really consider me your sister, you have to tell me" Ling Ling commanded.
Yu Yan stared for a second then, broke into a pathetic sob. "I am not good enough for him sister Ling Ling. Soon enough, he will realise it. All the.. all the baggage that comes with loving a broken girl- someone like me...And then, he will leave. And then I will be left more broken and more in pain than ever and that time.. that time, I will not be able to piece myself up anymore..." Yu Yan covered her face and cried uncontrollably. This was what she really felt. What she believed.
Ling Ling was shocked for awhile by the outburst but immediately took the younger girl into her arms, comforting her.
"Don't be silly. Why would you think like that? You love each other so much, even a blind man can see that" Ling Ling said in all honesty.
"It's only until he grows tired of me." Yu Yan hiccuped in between fast flowing tears.. "For him, I am like an exotic animal who intrigues him. When that novelty of marrying a commoner wears off and he realises that I am nothing special and... and..." She broke off, crying again. "Everyone leaves me in the end... everyone" Yu Yan whispered, her heart breaking.
For anyone else, what Yu Yan was saying would seem outlandish and far- fetched but for Ling Ling- it was so close to home. It was exactly how she had felt when Choi Bohai first came into her world.
An insecurity she never really got rid off.
To her, Choi Bohai was an angel of love and kindness- So handsome, so kind, so trusting. He gave her everything she could ever want. He had saved her life, given her love and a family... something she never even dreamt of.
Choi Bohai had never deserved a tainted woman like her. She had brought a bad and black luck to him and shortened his life.
Ling Ling shook off the damning feeling harshly from her soul and hugged the crying Yu Yan a little more, comforting Yu Yan and also, herself.
k*Li Fai: Li Jun's grandfather from his dad's side of the family.*)