werussi

A girl that lived in the slums and was a thief to live. She needed to camouflage as a boy so it will be easier. She was caught quite fast in this story~
But what will she do from then on?! That is what you will find if you read^^

The story is in a world that I created, It's a fantasy world, kingdoms, adventurers, etc.  There is not magic, but there are monsters that sometimes appear and beast-people.

The chapters aren't long at first but its longer after some time.

It's my first work so I don't know if anyone will like it. xc
Don't mind my grammar! I'm new at writing stories too, please don't mind it much as I didn't study English for that long, and I'm still studying. ;)

Sweden

"STOP There! You!" The soldiers shouted angrily. And ran after the thief.


The only thing they saw was a little shadow of a boy in beggars' clothes that have taken some things under his shirt. The boy ran as fast as it could, but still, he was caught. Compared to him big and muscular soldiers, one was older, and the other was much younger than the first. 


"Garw, we need to take him to the commander!" Said the younger one. Then took the boy by his collar and dragged him with them. The boy opposed and struggled but it was in vain because they were stronger.


After fifteen minutes they were before the commander's study room. They looked anxiously at each other and called "Commander! We caught the thief from the main market!".


"Come in!" answered a cold and terrifying voice. The guards come in and were scared because of the look the commander had. A cold and piercing look he looked at the boy and then an evil smile appeared. "Leave him and go out." The soldiers exited the room in a hurry.


When there were only the two of them in the room left, the commander said with amusement smile "Do you intend to dress as a boy forever?"


The boy was shocked by these words and took a good look at the man before him. He was handsome, very handsome. He had long hair, knitted in a semi bun. The eyes were green and cold like he didn't have any emotions, the clothes could show his perfect muscles and the robes couldn't hide them. He was just perfect in both body and face. 


The boy blushed a bit and answered, "I don't know what you mean" and tried to act like he didn't know what commander mean. The commander smirked and wig with an evil smile "If you are really a boy then strip". 


He looked serious, and the boy stiffened and after some time in silence he said, "I can't".


"So, you really are a girl then," said the evil man in front of a boy. There were a silence and awkwardness. Then the boy nodded his head slightly and admitted the truth. The commander was satisfied with an answer like that and asked, "Tell me how old you are and what is your name".


The girl looked him into his green eyes and hesitated a bit, but answered, "I'm 13 and my name is Lou, a-and I don't have a surname". The girl couldn't look any more in his eyes and looked away in embracement. The commander said with an emotionless smile "Then if you don't have anywhere to go, do you want to work for me?"


love the story so far i would really love giving it a 4.8 the  stability of updates is amazing but if only there were more chapters a week. I really love the story development and can't wait to see where it would lead to next. also i love the character design and would love if all the story i've read before had character design like these. also i really love the world background because it helps me and probably other readers to understand from the characters perspective.

Writing quality: It has some grammatical errors but nothing major and I didn’t need to read a sentence twice. Good job. 

Update: So far so good. I’m waiting to see how it’ll be later but if you follow your planning, it’s good.

Story: So far it’s satisfying. The flow is great and the story can grab readers. It would better if chapters were longer but we can’t have all we want. 

Character: They are well described and have a personality each. Lou is endearing. I remain curious about how Xia Huo catches wind of her to the point of wanting her by his side because it's not every day that someone will ask his guards to pick someone up from the street.

World: It's well described and we can imagine it. You didn't throw too much information at the same time, which is a good point.
Seriously not bad for a first novel.

Its really good for a first book. :) 

I really like all the characters so far and look forwards to reading more about them. :) Ash needs more scenes tho...but like that's just imo

I am completely in love with Lou. She is so full of fun, spunk, and spontaneousness. She is what I would wish 4 in a little sister. I love the twins and the fact that you can only tell them apart due to a mole is perfect. Lillian and Bell make perfect substitute older sisters for Lou and of course the commander strong, silent, dominant, perfect for Lou as a friend and as a possible future husband.

Hey there!

Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.


This book keeps getting better and better I can’t stop reading it so please keep writing this book and make more chapters soon so I’ll be able to read it 

This book keeps getting better and better I can’t stop reading it and this book is so lol I can’t stop lol you should keep writing this book so I can read please 

So in the beginning I was an avid reader of this novel but as the updates have come slower and slower I am to the point where I almost want to give up on this novel. I loved reading what is available, I've read it at least 3-4 times already, but the fact that the author has put months I between updates more than once is not fair to the readers.

I have definitely enjoyed reading what little that has been written. It could have been a little more detailed, but it has been good. I do request that if there is more to this story that it get written and published, or let someone else take what has been written and continue with the story. The release times have been beyond ridiculous, there have been times when I have had to wait almost a month for a single chapter. I love the story that's been written, I enjoy what little there was but it can be so much more and so much better.

Little thief? NOT anymore~~

Table of contents

Volume 1

Chapter 1 - Caught!