I stepped out of Cordelia's hall just in time to hear Nel shout "Corvus!" and see her rush around a corner with Nirir and Miratus in tow.
"Hey," I said. I held up the Crown of the Orcslayer. "I got the magic crown thing."
"You got past the lich and everything?" Miratus asked.
Nel's eyes went wide. "Lich!?"
"Yeah, she was actually pretty friendly," I told them. "But we gotta go. The assassins are down here."
Nirir growled. "The mice are attacking as well. Their forces suddenly assaulted the Rat Kingdom."
"It was fucking insane," Nel told me. "Like a whole wave of tiny fur-balls. They were climbing over each other and everything. Like, it literally looked like a wave, Corvus. Like water. I'm not exaggerating when I say they flooded the tunnels."
"The Queen ordered me to ensure the safety of the Peacemaker before she and the Council were ushered away by their guards," Miratus said. "I know where we may rendezvous with them later, but first we must get out of danger."
"Getting out of danger sounds like just the best idea right now," I admitted. "Where to?"
Miratus pointed his little twitching nose down a tunnel. "This…" he began, and then he stopped. I followed his gaze and saw why.
A humanoid shape was walking down that tunnel, in our direction. It carried a long, slender blade in each hand, and as it stepped into the light I saw that it was a she, specifically a she with green skin and golden eyes, dressed in black.
"Oh shit," I said. "Sarissa."
"Wait, Sarissa!?" Nel exclaimed.
"Oh," the Serpentfolk said, "Nel's here too. That's unfortunate. I always liked you." Then she turned her gaze to me. "And my name is Seriin, love. Sarissa was never a real person."
"Sarissa," Nel said flatly. "You mean like the insanely gorgeous woman with the insanely gorgeous brother? That Sarissa?"
Seriin's lips curved into a slight smirk. "I'm afraid the 'insanely gorgeous' bits were just illusions, Nel," she said. "I am sorry. Our mission of observation has ended, and now we must kill the destined one. You shouldn't have been here." She sighed. "I will not relish this, Corvus, my love."
"Well, you know," I said, "you could always, um, not do it."
The assassin shook her head sadly. "My oath to the Throne is absolute, I'm afraid. Our seers are certain of your prophecy; any conflict you involve yourself with shall end either by your hand or after your death." She shifted her feet and raised her weapons, and even my woefully untrained eye could tell she was entering a combat stance. "The empire desires the trade routes your kingdom controls, and these mice desire the destruction of your city. You are threat to both designs, and so we align ourselves." She looked me directly in the eyes, which I found to be more than a little uncomfortable. "If it is any comfort, you will not die immediately. My new allies have need of you first."
"It's really not a comfort," I told her, and I put the Crown on my head. Immediately, I summoned the magic sword to my hand and attempted to imitate the battle-ready stance I had seen actual warriors and adventurers do a few times. I hoped it looked suitably intimidating.
It didn't. Seriin looked at me quizzically. "Do you even know how to use that?" she asked.
"Of course," I lied.
She sighed. "Bluster and bravado really don't suit you, my love." And then, in less time than it would have taken me to blink, she was upon me.
I yelped and desperately blocked her first swing with my sword. Our blades clashed with a force I really wasn't prepared for, and it was all I could do to maintain my grip as she forced my sword down. Then, with the pommel of her other sword, she swiftly jabbed down at the back of my hand.
Pain, red and hot, shot through me, and I dropped the sword. It evaporated before it could fully clatter to the ground.
Immediately, I attempted to summon it again, but Seriin was too fast. Before I could even complete the thought, she had one blade against my throat and used her other to flick the crown off my head. I heard it clatter against the stone behind me, and felt wet and warm blood flow down past my ear.
The whole fight had taken less than five seconds.
"I know I've said this so many times already," Seriin told me, her voice soft, warm, and full of regret, "but I am truly sorry it has to be this way."
Slowly, she repositioned the sword that wasn't against my throat so that it was pointed at my leg. "This will hurt," she warned me, "but the pain will end once the mice have what they want, and I can fulfill my duty."
I braced myself. I could swear that Seriin did too.
"Hey, snake bitch!"
Seriin's eyes went wide as she heard Nel's voice, and something about her hesitation and her statements about the mice wanting me alive clicked in my mind. Alrighty then, time for a potentially life-ending gamble.
I jumped backward.
The blade did not swing at my throat.
As I jumped away, I saw Nel rush past me, the Crown of the Orcslayer on her head and the magic sword in her hand. She swung it at Seriin.
The assassin simply jumped backward, and her blades shot out like a blur. Nel stumbled and cried out, backing away and clutching her sword arm. I saw red liquid covering her hand.
"You are a blacksmith and a shopkeeper," Seriin said. "Neither of you knows anything about swinging a sword around. Please, for the love of all the gods in the Heavens, stop trying to play the sword-wielding badass."
And then Nirir leaped onto her back, his claws digging through the fabric of her cloak and into her skin, while Miratus rushed up her leg and bit at her shins.
"Fuck!" Seriin screamed, flailing around, trying to dislodge the small, furry animals who were honestly much better at this whole "fighting" thing than Nel or myself.
Nel grabbed my arm with her non-blood-covered hand. "Come on!" Next thing I knew, we were rushing through the tunnels, away from Seriin and Nirir and Miratus.
"This isn't over!" Seriin called after us. "I'll find you again, Corvus!"
I thought back to the pendant that Cordelia had just destroyed for me. "No you won't!" I called back.
We ran blindly through the tunnels until the sounds of Seriin's shouting were long faded and gone, and then we stopped to catch our breaths.
"You alright?" I asked Nel.
She nodded. "Yeah. Cut's shallow. Stings like a motherfucker." She leaned against the wall. "Sarissa was a fucking Serpentfolk spy this whole time?"
"Yeah," I said.
"What the fuck?"
"I know, it's insane."
"No, what the fuck?" Nel asked. "How does a godsbedamned snake have bigger tits than me?"
I froze and stared at her. She stared back at me. And then we both burst into fits of laughter.
"Shush, no," I managed to wheeze. "We should be quiet."
"Yeah, sneaky," Nel agreed.
"Holy shit we're alive."
"Seriously, holy shit."
We calmed down, and then a particularly pressing question formed itself in my mind.
"Hey, Nel?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you know how to get out of here?"
Her eyes went wide. "Um," she said. "Fuck."