Nirir guided us through the labyrinthine streets of Istalfax, threading through alleys and marketplaces and residential areas in such a strange pattern that I quickly had no idea where in the city we were. It wasn't until we were in an alleyway next to an old condemned building that our feline guide came to a stop.
"This is it," he said, gesturing to a door in the side of the building, and the smashed-open window next to it. "Beyond this threshold lies the Royal Court of King Mraw. I urge both of you to be on your best behavior. Do not make eye contact, and be sure to give His Majesty a proper, respectful greeting."
"What counts as a respectful greeting?" Nel asked.
"Hold out your fingers, so that he may take in your scent," Nirir told her, speaking in the tone of someone addressing a dimwitted child.
This was not lost on Nel, and she frowned at him. "This is why I prefer dogs," she muttered.
"And try not to say things like that in the presence of the king," Nirir said. "Please, for heaven's sake, do not insult the king." With that, he hopped up and through the broken window.
I shrugged at Nel. "Well, we've come this far."
Nel shook her head. "I'm just waiting to wake up."
"Yeah, I felt like that too. At this point I've just decided to follow along and hope that everything works out."
She raised an eyebrow. "And is it working out?"
I thought for a moment. "Well," I said, "turns out Sarissa is actually a Serpentfolk assassin sent to kill me, but she keeps claiming to be in love with me while trying to kill me so… I guess it's mixed?"
"What?"
I shrugged again. "We should meet this king." I reached out and opened the door.
"No, seriously, Corvus, what the fuck?" Nel asked as she followed me inside. "That's a lot to throw out there. What the shit?"
The inside of the building was surprisingly clean given that as far as I could tell it had only been occupied by cats for the past few years. As I walked deeper within it, I realized that the light from outside was the only thing illuminating the walls around me. I guess cats didn't need light sources the way we mere humans did.
"It's dark," I muttered.
"Yeah, it kind of sucks that humans are like the only people who don't have darkvision," Nel replied.
Shining cat eyes watched me from the end of the hallway. I nodded absently to Nel and made my way over to the eyes' owner. As I did, more cats seemed to emerge from the darkness. All of them we watching me as I approached; watching me in that wide-eyed way that cats watch things.
"Um, hi?" I offered. "I'm here to see the king?"
The cats did not reply.
"Should I do the finger thing?" I asked, extending a pointer finger toward the nearest cat and feeling only slightly silly.
The cat in question, who was white with brown spots, leaned forward and sniffed my finger-tip. Then, the cat spun around. The other cats stirred as well, all moving as one to the slightly ajar door a few feet away. The one who had sniffed my finger stood on his hind legs and used his front paws to push it further open, and then all the cats poured through the doorway.
Taking a breath, I followed the cat through the door.
This far into the building, there was barely any light at all. Shadows and darkness greeted me in the room, with only a few flashes of cat eyes briefly appearing in the black. The white and brown cat reappeared from the darkness, holding a stick in his mouth, which he dropped at my feet before retreating back into the shadows. Bending down and picking up the stick, I realized it was a match, and an urgent meow in front of me brought my attention to what appeared to be a barstool with a lantern sitting on top of it just a few feet away.
I stepped forward. Running my hand across the top of the stool I realized there was sandpaper laid out next to lantern. Alright. This seemed obvious enough. I struck the match and I lit the lantern.
As light flooded the room, I beheld a sea of cats all around me. This place used to be a pub, I realized, as my gaze swept over the long counter on the on the other side of the room. While the floor seemed to be covered in cats of all shapes and sizes, only one cat sat on the bar itself.
He was massive, at least twice the size of any other feline in the room. His fur was golden and puffed out like a cloud, and his golden eyes watched me with an unnervingly humanlike wisdom.
On a stool before the counter sat Nirir, who nodded to me and turned his head to the golden cat behind him. The meaning was clear.
I was, I realized for the first time in my life, in the presence of royalty.
Slowly and deliberately I approached the King of Cats, keeping my eyes centered on the space between his eyes, careful not to look at them directly.
The golden cat responded just as the other cat had. He leaned forward and sniffed the tip of my finger, before withdrawing. "Peacemaker," he said. "I am King Mraw, and I bid you welcome to my Court of Cats. Long have we awaited your arrival."
He paused, as if waiting for a response. Not knowing what to say, I meekly offered: "It's great to be here?"
Luckily, this seemed to satisfy the king. "My seers have told me much of your coming, and of your destiny. Peacemaker, who shall face the fury of the abyss, bring justice for the forsaken, and usher in freedom and prosperity for the subjugated; you shall be a hero of heroes, who confronts and defeats the horrors of war, together with your many wives."
I coughed. "I'm sorry, my many what?" Well that description sealed it: these guys must have had me confused with someone else.
Behind me, I heard Nel whistle. "Can I have many husbands?"
"It must be disorienting to hear such greatness spoken of you, when you have yet only begun to take the first steps to your destiny," King Mraw said. "But I must apologize, Peacemaker. There is little time for you to acclimate to your role. The situation has become most dire."
"Right," I said carefully. "The demonic mice?"
"The demonic mice," King Mraw agreed solemnly. "Chakren must be stopped. Luckily, we know of an artifact that holds such power. Unluckily, only one who bears the Mark of Destiny may unleash its power. Even more unluckily, it is currently held by the rats."
"Yeah that is unlucky," I muttered.
"I apologize for this, Peacemaker," the King said, "but you must venture into the Kingdom of Rats and retrieve the Crown of the Orcslayer."
"Orcslayer?" I asked. "You mean, like, Arcturus Orcslayer, the hero of the Orc Wars?"
"The same," King Mraw replied. "The rats have laid claim to his crown, which holds within it the power to strike down evil in all its forms. I will send Nirir to accompany you to the Rat Kingdom. Good luck, Peacemaker. I pray for all our sakes that you do not fail or falter."
That weird voice thing again. I think I was starting to understand what it was and how it worked.
It was a strange feeling. I suddenly understood that the king was, well, genuine. This wasn't a game, or a trick, or some sort of cynical power play. He was in trouble, and he was asking me for help.
He was asking me for help.
I looked out at all the cats staring at me. They were all looking to me for help. One of the cats' faces stirred my memory. Just yesterday, I'd seen that one. They'd been in a net in an alley.
I blinked and took a deep breath as I felt my head go light, the sheer weight of it all suddenly bearing down on me. This was a ridiculous. I was a mediocre shopkeeper, a nobody, who had never so much as held a sword or loosed an arrow, and here these people were, asking for help in their grand struggle. Looking to me, for hope.
Bullshit. This was all bullshit. Whoever decided to mark me was a fucking asshole. This wasn't my place. One fuck-up, and that was it: boom, everyone dead. Fuck this. Fuck all of this.
"Corvus?" Nel asked. Fuck. Here she'd been dragged into this nonsense too. I should have told her to go, should have avoided bringing her along. So that was already one fuck-up. I really couldn't do this.
I couldn't believe I had to.
"Alright," I said, my voice a bit more raspy, a bit more trembling, than I had intended. "I guess I'm headed to the Rat Kingdom then."