Yukinoshita couldn't say no to her parents and stayed at her house all the time until she was told to meet to go to the party. Usually, she wouldn't be invited to this kind of party since her parents would usually leave everything to her older sister. If it was before, she would have felt uncomfortable, and it also drove her to get better since she wanted to be acknowledged by her parents. She didn't want to be a replacement for her older sister and wanted to be seen as Yukinoshita Yukino.
She had always been working hard to prove herself, but her parents never said a single word, telling her to visit the party until this summer.
Her parents suddenly told her to visit the party with them but, unlike the happiness she should have felt, she didn't feel happy. Instead, all that filled her heart was only despair.
'Fiance... Engagement...'
When her parents told her about this matter, she was so dizzy that she almost passed out. She didn't even know who her partner was. No, her partner didn't really matter since everything had been decided by her parents. She was nothing but a canary sold to her parents to achieve their ambition.
However, as someone from the Yukinoshita family, she should have expected this.
Her family would be handled by her older sister.
On the other hand, she would become a chip to help the development of her family.
She could do and say nothing.
The only thing that she could do was accept this engagement.
If it was before, she might not have thought much, and she might have accepted this, yet now, she felt her chest tighten and couldn't breathe. She felt she was drowning, pulled deep into the water, unable to do anything, helpless and unwilling.
The thought of being together with someone she didn't know had never been so painful.
'Shishio...'
His name was the only thing she could say to ease her fear.
Yet she was also afraid.
What would happen if he knew about her engagement?
Would he hate her?
If so, it might be better since they would no longer entangle with each other. He could just live happily with his harem, and she could also focus on her life. Neither would bother the other and continue to live their own lives.
This is how it should be.
She had accepted it until she came to the party.
The bright, lively party became monochrome and hazy. It was like everything was a nightmare, and she wanted to wake up from it.
She couldn't even listen to whatever everyone was saying and just stood in silence next to her parents and older sister. When she stood there, she was like snow. She was beautiful, cold, yet fragile. When someone tried to touch her, she might melt right away.
Some tried to get close to her. Unfortunately, it was impossible since her engagement was settled already.
"Are you alright, Yukino?" Haruno asked.
Similar to her sister, Yukino was already good at masking her emotions. Nothing was shown on her face. She was like a perfect doll that could be proudly shown off everywhere.
"I am okay. You don't need to worry."
Haruno showed a wry smile and thought Yukinoshita was annoyed and angry since her engagement was settled so suddenly. However, she still smiled brightly and never frowned. Instead, she felt slightly jealous. Still, she didn't say anything after she confirmed Yukinoshita was alright.
"That's good. You will be able to see your fiance soon."
"......."
Yukinoshita lowered her head slightly, hiding the change in her expression since, right now, it was impossible for her to hide the turmoil in her heart. Her eyes were slightly reddened and wet from the tears, thinking how hopeless she was, but she gritted her teeth and took a deep breath.
"Mother..."
She approached her mother and whispered that she wanted to go to the toilet.
Her mother looked at her daughter for a moment and nodded. "Yes, you can go."
"Thank you."
She bowed her head slightly before she went to the toilet since she wanted to calm herself.
Haruno looked at her little sister for a moment before looking at her two parents, shaking her head gently and smiling before she continued her boring talk with everyone.
--
As she left, Yukinoshita visited the toilet to fix her makeup, and when she was ready, she thought of returning to her parents were. Yet she felt her steps become heavy and almost lost her balance. She put her hand on the window, trying to support herself. She felt quite dizzy and remembered that she hadn't eaten.
However, at this type of party, it was impossible for her to eat since it wasn't appropriate.
If there was someone who could eat, it was probably her father and the male guests. On the other hand, the female had to refrain since it wasn't suited to etiquette. They also could eat later at home, so they didn't really feel hungry.
However, she was different since she wasn't in the mood to eat for the past few days, so she hadn't eaten much until now.
Naturally, it also affected her appearance since her complexion was rather pale, and her beautiful black hair lacked the previous luster. Fortunately, she was naturally beautiful, and no one really noticed her change.
She let out a long sigh and looked at the outside scenery from the window. It was dark, yet she could see a bird flying, soaring through the sky. She wasn't sure what kind of species that bird was, yet she couldn't hide her envy and jealousy.
That bird was free and could fly everywhere.
Yet she was here, trapped in the cage, being tended carefully so she could attract everyone's attention with her beautiful feathers.
'Canary...'
She felt this bird was like her, yet now, she wasn't one. She stared at the scenery of the garden before she decided to walk out. She knew that she was being selfish for doing this, and her parents might get angry, but this might be the last time she was free. She walked out of the building, watching the flowers, trees, and man-made lake one by one slowly, like a prisoner who received the death penalty.
Yet she knew that it was impossible for the time to stop.
She walked into the arbor quietly, sat on the bench, and stared at the man-made lake.
Usually, one would be able to see the reflection of the moon on the surface of the water. Unfortunately, the sky was rather cloudy, reflecting her current mood, which was filled with sadness and regret.
*Rumble! Rumble!*
The sky was rumbling, yet she ignored it and even hoped thunder might strike her so she didn't have to go back to the party. Yet she was glad of the appearance of those clouds or the rumbling thunder since it absorbed all the noises from the party, giving her a moment of peace.
When she was at her parent's house, she had been thinking about a lot of things, especially about her feelings toward him. He, who she couldn't even forget when they parted, and he, who twisted her heart, and he, who had always made her laugh. Every moment with him was vivid in her mind, yet it was like a dream.
Like a dream, when she woke up, everything would disappear.
'I don't want that!'
She showed her last struggle, roaring in her mind that she didn't want to wake up from this dream, yet she couldn't, and all she could think was that it might be better if she didn't know the feeling when she was with him. If she didn't know him, she wouldn't think her engagement would be so painful.
'If I don't know him...'
She closed her eyes and thought about how they met for the first time, which caused her to smile in annoyance since he teased, played with her, and even showed his erection. Suddenly, she got furious and wanted to knock him out. Yet, she also wanted to laugh since every memory she had with him was so precious.
She opened her eyes and looked at the cloudy night, unlike the night at that summer camp, which was beautiful with a starry sky and bright moon. He hugged her body tightly, so they could be as close as possible, yet tenderly as if he was afraid to hurt her. It was wonderful, and she definitely wouldn't be able to forget that memory for her entire life.
Yet it is different now.
She was alone, cold, fragile, and hurt. Yet what hurt her the most was that he wouldn't be by her side before slowly forgetting herself. By then, she would no longer be someone that was on his mind, only a distant memory that would soon be forgotten by time.
'No! I don't want that!'
She tried to think how she could be with him, yet no matter how she thought, all the possibilities she could think of would lead to a dead end. There was no happy ending, only misery that waited for them.
Suddenly...
'Maybe it's better for me to give up.'
Everything was just her selfish desire, and he had many girls, so even if she wasn't there, he knew he would be alright.
'Yes, I should give up.'
She tried to force herself to believe this was the best for them. By accepting this marriage and forgetting him, she could make her parents happy and proud. She could also become better than her older sister.
'Yes, that's right!'
She numbed herself as she tried to cheer herself up, but like a clasp of thunder on her heart, she heard this familiar voice.
"Yukino-senpai?"
Her heart stopped as if she was frozen in place. All the struggles and beliefs she had built were ruthlessly wrecked into ruin, and by this point, she realized it was impossible to forget him.