Kush fell silent. He didn't reply. He thought of the day when Vajra warned him saying no matter how numerous grass is, it can be easily cut up, or burned. He only thought of it as an affront to himself back then, but now, it seems to relate to his personality which seeks comfort in being the same as everyone else.
Vajra lightly chuckled to put him at ease. "Little Grass, let me tell you a story that happened during my dad's childhood. You see, my uncle Ravi-kumara had a habit of killing all of his father's children. My grandfather, my blood grandfather I mean, he could do nothing about it since he was also bogged down with issues of health from his old injuries of wars. However, when brother-Indra was born when he was at an advanced age, he finally took action and sent him away to live with one of his trusted commanders. That commander was his personal squire when my grandfather was still waging wars. So he trusted him very much. When my grandfather was on his deathbed, my uncle learnt of his intentions to pass down the throne to yet another brother he didn't know of. Naturally, in a fit of anger, he sent assassins to get rid of brother-Indra who was just a three year old child then. The commander, of course, expected something like this would happen. So he had long since prepared many escape routes.
"He was a young man, not more than thirty years old, who also only recently started his family. Both he and his wife were warriors and when they escaped, they separated. He took his own son with him who was also three years old, while his wife took brother-Indra. Do you know why?"
"He betrayed your grandfather for his own son?"
Vajra shook his head. "On the contrary, he did it to fulfil his promise to protect brother-Indra. Since he was the strongest warrior in the family, naturally, the assassins assumed that the child in his arms was brother-Indra. Though he was a very strong warrior, he was outnumbered and was ultimately killed off, along with his child." Vajra shook his head. "Father turned completely insane in his last days. He didn't even recognise me or his favorite daughter Kavya-gauri or even third sister Agni. But he still remember the grace of that man when he died. He said he was the only father that he recognised…" he chuckled, "Not even my grandfather Shwetasura who worked so hard to raise him since he was four could come close to the same standing."
Kush listened to the story, but he didn't understand why Vajra told it to him.
"Grass, that boy and brother-Indra were of similar age. But why was father's…I mean brother-Indra's life so much more important to the commander that he would sacrifice his own son for it? For that matter, he could've switched the two boys anytime, and no one would be the wiser. That man knew he was going to die…He also knew his son was going to die. But he still went along the preplanned escape route without a moment's thought. Why?"
Kush asked the same question. "Why was it more important?"
"It is because the Aditya clan's bloodline is what this nation's been built on," Vajradandaka said, his words strong with conviction. "It's because, without state, there is no civilization. Without civilization, there is no family. Without family, everybody is a bastard. If that man was to sacrifice brother-Indra, he would be sacrificing the state itself. If he was to do that, his own son would become a bastard. It is the same if a bastard lives or dies. So he chose for his son to die with his father instead of choosing for a bastard to live on as proof of the sins his father committed."
Drawing his friend closer, Vajra rocked his neck in peaceful rhythm. "Little Grass, if you die because you are unwilling to sacrifice men, you will be unable to form your state. If you are unable to form your state, you will be unable to inspire sacrifice in men.
"Only that man who inspires sacrifice in other man is king. Only a king who sacrifices for and inspires sacrifice in the universe is god. You understand now?"
Kush nodded heavily, taking in the lesson. He was finding it hard to breathe, the more he realised the seriousness of his undertaking. He used to tell himself that he didn't truly want it. In the deepest recesses of his mind, he believed Ashangi pushed it onto him for her own ambitions.
But listening to Vajra speak now, he realised he wanted every bit in it. That year when he was six years old and the bandits came, it wasn't just bluster. He truly believed in his destiny to be king and that's the reason he spoke that way. And where might a poor six year old from a backwater village get such thoughts, one might ask. Kush knew wherefrom.
From poverty itself, from the desire to live better, from wanting to change everything. From a drive to solve problems and a need to explore, the greed to possess. Every single quality that he had in his little life, good and bad, all added up to this. It wasn't too much for him to want the entire world. Because he knew what to do with it! Which other ten year old would dare to say he knew what to do with the entire world? Which adult would for that matter? Kush just knew that there is a hollow in his heart that will not be filled unless the places the entire world into it. He was insatiable for existence with a desire to rule that often consumed him. The desire was so primal that he could not even name it nor could he pinpoint and say this is what it is. He only knew until now it was something dangerous, raw and consuming. But now he knew what to name it. This desire for the world. He named it Chandra Kush. He never knew what to do with this surname his teacher gave him. In this world where surnames didn't matter and only clan names did, he felt like a fake trying to introduce a new system. But now, he wanted to do just that. He wanted to do it to the entire world. To change the way people addressed each other. To turn his desire into the world and the world into his desire.
By the time Kush surfaced from his thoughts, the sun had already set completely and the stars were shining brightly in the sky. The other boy was lying beside him, breathing evenly. He exhausted himself by carrying Kush around all day in the dunes.
"Hey," Kush kicked his waist with a splinted leg. "You still didn't tell me what you want in return for your help. Or are you telling me kings may accept favors from others without bothering to give anything of value in return?"
"Mmm…" Vajra mumbled, wiping his dribble with a sandy hand. He didn't wake up, but managed to make an entire half of his face dirty. Following that he turned his head and rested his face on the sand, promptly dribbling some more.
Kush couldn't help but laugh and gave him another kick. The kick wasn't light just because he couldn't move much. His splint was made of hard wood, so it gave Vajra a good poke. "You have to tell me!"
"Mmm…"
"Mmm what?"
"Gimme…gimme…me the desert."
"Me the desert?" Kush repeated. "You want the desert?"
"Hmm."
"Whatever the hell for!"
"I juz want it."
"Pig. Wake up and speak properly."
When Kush poked for the third time, Vajra lost it. "Fuck you! I want the desert. Are you giving it or not!"
Kush was at a loss. He didn't know if his friend was serious, or if he just dreamt that there were some large diamond mines in the desert or if there really were any diamond mines! In that case, wouldn't he be losing out? On the other hand, the barbarians do expect to bring their families after helping him organise his own state in the mainland. In order to organise an exodus, Kush does needs this alliance to continue. The desert will be empty anyway once the seventeen tribes vacate it. What does it matter if he just gives it away?
No, the problem is the diamond mines.
He poked Vajra. "Hey. Are there any diamond mines in the desert?"
"Nmm."
"Nm?"
"Nom," said the snoozing boy.
"What about gold mines?" he poked again.
"Nom."
"Copper?"
Vajra didn't reply. He was snoozing, unable to take his friend's idiocy.
Kush understood it in a different way though. "Really? Copper?" he poked his own chin. "That's not very valuable…Hey!" he poked.
"Get lost, you bastard!" Frustrated, Vajra turned away, tugging on his sash's string. When he untied it, he threw it away. He even proceeded to remove all the bracelets and bands that covered his various identifying scars, all in a single frustrated move.
A soft voice came from somewhere close by. "My king, language please."
"Arrgghh!!!" It was unclear how he did it, but even though he was sleeping, the boy king turned exactly in the direction of the servant who just arrived and kicked up his legs in a great flurry. "You big shit! Where the hell did you come from? Get away!"
Throwing sand in every possible direction and kicking every living thing that came into a meter's radius, the little king appeared like a mini tornado in the desert sand. Though Kush was quietly laughing at the scene though, the servant was rather panicked. He kneeled down in the sand shower and cried aloud.
"Martanda, may your golden tongue never speak such base words! If this servant displeases you, this servant shall sever his head and place it at your feet. But this servant's soul cannot bear the burden of debasing your golden speech. Even the fires of eternal hell cannot purify this sin."