"...And that's why I'm stuck with you," said John.
"I'm stuck with a f*cking pervert like you. You chose me, idiot!" Ann screamed for the umpteenth time.
"Your fault for looking so sexy, beautiful!"
"A kid using suave words makes him look more like an inexperienced baby, little sh*t!"
"Shut up!"
Ann huffed in frustration but stopped to flip through the book again. John... The first Pimp Lord was a sham? The dimwitted little sh*t even dumped off her predecessor and manliest man on Derob as a slave to the Dark Lord? Too pathetic!!!
Ann repositioned the lyre on her back. She secured the satchel on her side and left her room quietly. It wasn't worth the time to argue with a worthless and brainless God no one else could hear. Even his blessed book was useless because Ann couldn't use mana or faith.
The Sun dawned over the horizon. With summer soon arriving, so came the Wizard Selection, the Faith Rankings, the Monster Tides, the Tournament, Francis on the Fifth Day…
So many things to do but John will try to ruin it all!
Ann slipped out the inn's door and took a deep breathe. She could smell the fetid mix of piss and sh*t in the streets, which became an even more unpleasant by the mix of humanoids and animals. It was a new day and Ann was determined to get to a new town, a new crowd, and a new pool of money!
"Nice! What a raunchy lady to wear a black-lace garter belt. Heheheh, you can't hide from my Divine Eyes!"
Ann's eye twitched.
"Shut the f*ck up! How can a little sh*t like you know what underwear a woman wears? I can believe you talking about diapers but get real, you little sh*t!" Ann hissed.
She walked in the throng of people in the morning. There was no sense in using isolated paths where shady business can easily start. People always provided protection in groups.
"Ah, but I have thousands of years of experience!"
"Sure, you have experience sh*tting yourself so your mama cleans up after you!"
"You f*cking—!"
"You what, little sh*t? I don't have parents so don't use that excuse!"
"...Stupid bouncy ass, uptight b*tch… wearing boring plain leather sh*t…"
"Eh? So Super Pervert here watches every waking moment of my life? Get real and f*cking work harder!"
Ann felt a headache incoming. If she could just make it past the gates and start yelling at that little sh*t…
"Watch out. White striped, blue panties with frills and a small hole."
"What the f*ck does that mean—"
Ann smacked right into a Priestess. Low and behold, her one-piece robe flipped up and…
"She's wearing?!"
"Yes, now pay more attention Apostle," John said, smugly.
The Priestess was a simple brunette with delicate and attractive features. A maternal instinct wildly burst forth in Ann's heart.
"Oh dear, I'm so sorry! Please, let me help you up!"
Ann carefully picked the Priestess dressed in white… although her whole backside was covered in brownish unmentionables…
"I-i-it's al-alright. I'm clumsy. Eheh. This must be the D-d-divine's Will that we met!" the woman spoke, excitedly.
"Um… no, wait. We just met?"
"That's o-o-okay! We're d-d-destined to be together!"
Ann stared blankly at the Priestess tugging on her arm.
"Hey, John," she whispered. "What's with this nutjob?"
"She's not a nutjob, you f*cking tits for brains. She can sense MY Book of Faith!" John said, like a lion stepping on a tiger's cub.
"Oh f*ck!" Ann whispered.
"Er… You got the wrong person. It was nice meeting you! Bye!"
"N-n-no! Wait!" the Priestess screamed.
Ann pushed her way through the line and sprinted to the gate.
"S-s-someone! S-s-stop her!"
"Why, God? I didn't do anything wrong!" Ann cursed.
"Of course you did, boobs for brains! That was a harem— I mean, party member, GET! You need to get me more followers, you fool!"
Ann dodged one guard's spear and rocketed out the gate. Panic ensued in the crowd as the guards tried to calm them down while capturing Ann.
"Ah… I'm gonna be wanted after this…" Ann cried.
But a mailed gauntlet shot out from the corner of her eye. She stopped in an instant, unable to breathe.
"Ohohohoh! What do we have here?" said a sultry voice, like someone boiled a hard-boiled detective.
"Thank you, Cindy! She was *huff* *huff* a fast one," one of the guards gasped behind her.
"That's one f*cking pretty lady!" John commented.
The gauntlet turned Ann to an intense glare from two greyish blue eyes. The muscular and battle-ready woman sneered at her catch.
"You're coming in for questioning, lady. I wonder how long the Stockades can… educate you?"
"Heupbubhee!" Ann gasped.
"Now that's kinky!" John approved.