The wind feels little cold on my face.
"It really seems like winter is near..." -I watch the blue sky. The elder of Rita's village had mentioned it, the winter is near.
It has been two days since I ended up in this strange dream, or perhaps an absurd reality.
No, after those two days, I would say that this have tilted considerably towards the option in which everything around me is real.
Transported to another world under the skin of the character I created myself.
Something so absurd seems to be really my reality.
However, there are two peculiar issues in all of this.
My fellow travelers to this world, the NPCs who now appear to be true living beings, they consider Alexander's world to actually exist. Likewise, they take as absolute truth the fantasy story created by the developers of Conquest Online to give background to the game.
So, for the NPCs, I am the son of their god, while they consider themselves Alexander's children's.
This peculiarity in it has made me wonder, am I really the human who created Raven Magnus? Or am I another NPC?
In search of clues to my circumstances, I had the idea of test this body.
After observing the NPCs, I am sure that, when the time comes, they will not hesitate to use their weapons even against other humans. They consider themselves real soldiers after all.
In that case, what about Raven Magnus?
I come from a relatively peaceful world, and where the few active wars are fought by machines controlled from control stations.
Considering all of the above, if I wielded my sword to take a life, what would be stronger, the indoctrination of my peaceful world or the will of this body?
If I am incapable of wielding my sword against a living being, then I will be convinced that I really am myself, but is that really what I want?
To be the person behind Raven Magnus, to be Aoio Housei has few merits.
A misunderstood genius who after failing in modern society even his parents turned their backs on.
No, it's not totally that way.
It was society that refused to accept me.
They were the ones who didn't understand anything about me.
It was they who refused to see the possibilities of my approach and did everything possible to get in my way.
Even so, being the person behind Raven Magnus, is there really anything good about it?
Even if imagining myself to be an NPC causes me some kind of existential void, somehow it seems to me to be much better than being Aioi Housei.
In that person there is nothing but loneliness and bitterness.
That person is full of remorse that tries to calm by blaming others.
Even if he has a brilliant mind that allowed him to graduate from college at the age of fifteen, that person has locked himself in.
What I really despise about the person behind Raven Magnus is his total inability to get up. When his pride was destroyed and his beliefs were denied, what did he do? He fled!
Yes, he took refuge behind Agoraphobia and used it as a pretext to surrender.
Yeah, being an NPC is a lot better than being Aioi Housei.
"Raven-sama, it's the Kobold quarry" -riding beside me, Morgana Karl points to our left.
Having skirted the coast from the camp for just under five minutes, we pulled the reins of our horses to get into the forest.
As we pass by them, the Kobolds kneel and begin to perform their prayers.
After being taken as gods, Freya and I returned to the camp to carry out the only request the Kobolds made.
'O great and implacable god of the night Avor-sama, we pray for your mercy, liberate us from the threat of goblin' -probably a test to confirm whether we were indeed their gods.
Those little creatures are more cunning than they seem, their former clumsy way of speaking disappeared completely once they made their request.
Actually, it doesn't matter, if to get talented extra manpower I have to exterminate a few goblins, what a bargain!
"It shouldn't take us more than five minutes to reach the goblin village" -once we get into the forest, Morgana Karl exclaims.
In answer I simply nod.
Of all the high-ranking NPCs in my army, this woman is quite simple to handle. She speaks only as much as necessary and obeys any order in detail.
It is for that reason that she is the only Officer I brought with me. If I fail pathetically in trying to kill a living being, I feel much more capable of justifying myself with her than with Freya, Nike or any of the other captains.
Due to the ruggedness of the forest, our speed decreases drastically compared to our previous speed. In addition, we do not want to disperse our group of one hundred riders too much into the forest.
Previously I had sent some scouts to the place where the Kobolds pointed out the goblin village. According to the report, their number should not be greater than sixty individuals, and their weapons should consist mostly of wooden spears.
Probably a hundred riders armed with swords and steel armor is an excessive number against such weak creatures, but this is our first battle in this world.
It will be the first time we test the strength of this world and our strength that presumably comes from Conquest Online.
Irremediably my fingers tremble slightly in anticipation.
However, there seems to be no discomfort. If I were to compare the feeling with something else, I would say it's similar to the excitement prior to trying a new game.
It doesn't look like what a human from a peaceful world should feel before a battle.
Yes, I am not that person, after all his curse is not present in me. His agoraphobia is not here, it did not come into this world.
"Prepare yourselves!"
Once I see some small and rudimentary wooden huts in front, Morgana Karl orders that to the hundred riders around us. In response, each rider draws his sword.
"It seems that the moment of truth has arrived..." -murmuring that just for me, I draw my sword with my left hand.
Dark Sword of Tyr, a black sword from the handle to the blade with some beautiful details in gold and silver. A PREMIUM object that could only be obtained in a roulette play.
In a matter of seconds, we emerge from the forest towards the clearing where the rudimentary goblin village is located.
The appearance of the creatures is as the authors of numerous books and novels imagined; greenish and rigid skin, small bald heads with prominent noses and unpleasant elongated ears. Their size and completeness are similar to that of a human child, while their clothing consists mostly of pieces of raw leather covering their reproductive organs.
Being taken by surprise, the small, unpleasant creatures are unable to react. The first victims die when they are crushed under the legs of horses.
(I must test myself!) -I pull the horse's reins and guide it towards a target.
If Nike were here, she probably wouldn't separate from me and wouldn't give me space to act on the grounds that it's she duty to protect me.
If it were Freya, trying to show me her talent, she would probably eliminate any nearby enemy using her ice magic.
Luckily Morgana Karl gives me enough space to move at will.
Feeling to be my target, the feeble little goblin begins to run with the intention of escaping into the forest.
While I feel a feeling of butterflies in my stomach, everything around me seems to turn into slow motion.
A few meters from my target, I divert the horse's trajectory to the right to avoid ramming him. I tighten the grip of my sword and my body automatically leans to the left to carry out the attack.
While my sword draws a curve over the air to his back, the creature turns its head towards me and for a brief moment our eyes meet.
The swing of my sword barely meets resistance, I pull the reins of the horse with my right hand and while it makes an extensive turn in its trajectory, I take my eyes towards my victim.
The two parts that used to be a complete body are lying on the ground over a pool of greenish blood. His extremities shudder for a couple of seconds and then stop moving.
Nothing... I felt no kind of discomfort when my sword cut that little body, nor do I feel anything when I see that body that I prive of his life with my own hands.
I look at the edge of my sword and to my mind comes that instant in which our gazes crossed. This does not provoke anything in me either, I do not even remember in which moment that emotion of anticipation disappeared.
If I had to put it into words, I would say it was no different than killing a cockroach.
I observe my surroundings; the goblins are massacred mercilessly by my soldiers.
My gaze is attracted by what could be described as a goblin child.
Most likely because of his age, the goblin child is unable to understand what is going on and stands motionless watching the greenish bloodbath around him.
Suddenly the body of that goblin child is struck by a huge horse. His small head bursts on the ground as he is unable to resist when one of the horse's legs treads on it.
The rider did not even notice what happened and continues his search for other goblins.
That event does not provoke anything in me.
Am I immune to all this because I am an NPC?
The battle, which more specifically should be described as a massacre, ends just minutes after it has begun.
I didn't imagine the difference in strength was so great.
Soldiers stop their attack and look around.
I cannot say for certain because their faces are hidden beneath their helmets, but I can see a glint of dissatisfaction over their eyes.
Are they dissatisfied with the null resistance of the goblins?
Or do they have any remorse for killing such weak opponents?
Yes, the last thing should be the most probable.
Alexander's children´s would only consider as a true battle a fight where the opponent fought on the same terms. They would never find honor in such an unequal battle. This is something I understood after talking to several of the captains, as well as Freya and Nike.
"We have completed the task, Raven-sama."
As I wonder how to deal with the dissatisfaction and feeling of dishonor that these soldiers must be feeling, Morgana Karl approaches me.
"Good work, Captain Karl."
"No, we don't deserve your compliments for something like this, Raven-sama."
(This is probably going to be more complicated than I imagine)
If they feel they have dishonored their father, Alexander and their god, the supreme god of battle, doesn't that mean they could start questioning my leadership? After all, it was I who ordered these weak creatures to be attacked.
I cannot allow them to return in this state to the camp, their dissatisfaction would spread over the other NPCs.
Should I risk taking them further into the forest to attack the elves? Thanks to the Kobolds we know the location of the elven village.
Fighting the elves should make them completely forget what happened here, but according to the Kobolds, the elves are much stronger than humans.
Sacrifice them?
Yes, I could order Morgana Karl to attack the elves with these hundred soldiers. If they die, dissatisfaction will die with them. If they triumph, the ecstasy of victory will completely erase their dissatisfaction.
"These creatures were pitiful, to have killed wild pigs would have been more beneficial, at least we would have gotten some extra supplies.
While my mind was lost in an endless number of possible scenarios, one of the soldiers next to Morgana Karl makes that comment.
(Wild pigs? Of course!) - I immediately realize my mistake.
In order for Alexander's sons to consider this a battle, they would first have to consider the goblins as opponents.
How could I not notice it before?
Goblins are so weak that NPCs would never consider them their equals, for them these repulsive creatures are no different from any other beast.
"No, the benefit of having killed these creatures is in the quarry. With this, the Kobolds will help us build the castle, and that is a benefit we would not get even by killing all the wild pigs in this forest.
"Your vision contemplates everything, Raven-sama. We are unworthy to serve you!"
While Morgana Karl nods with a slight gleam of achievement over her eyes, that soldier who made the previous comment seems full of enthusiasm for my response.
The rest of the soldiers laugh and celebrate discreetly.
Yes, that gleam of dissatisfaction in their eyes was not caused by some feeling of dishonor. The NPCs were dissatisfied simply because they did not see any achievement.
I almost did something stupid.
I had ordered the NPCs not to use lethal force against the elves because we don't know their forces and I don't want to start a conflict without a solid wall behind which I take refuge in the worst scenario.
This emotional conflict of 'To be or not to be' regarding whether or not I am an NPC is beginning to cloud my judgment.
Suddenly a strange phenomenon occurs.
(Can't I have some peace?)
The bodies of the goblins begin to emit a faint glow.
Instinctively Morgana Karl and the rest of the soldiers draw their swords again as they form a circle around me.
Under our expectant gaze, the bodies of the goblins become small spheres of light.
Before I could question myself about that strange phenomenon, the spheres of light are rushing towards me at great speed.
"Raven-sama!"
For the first time Morgana Karl's face shows an expression.
"I'm fine..." -the spheres of light come into my body and begin to melt into me. When the first of them touched me I understood, this was experience.
Yes, although it was colorful, it was the same as in the old video games. The enemies that you kill disappear and become 'exp' that serves to improve your level.
Through a strange sensation of feeling something grow in me, I could feel how my level had increased until reaching level 5. In the same way, I can feel how some skills awaken.
"Since I don't have my father's continuous blessing in this world, it seems that I will have to absorb the strength of the enemies we defeat in order to strengthen myself" - I was not difficult create a pretext to reassure the dismayed NPCs.
"I understand. Upon reaching this world, Raven-sama, Nike-sama and Freya-sama lost much of their power. If this is the way to help you recover them, leave it to us, Raven-sama" -Morgana Karl recovered her impassive expression.
That way of looking at it wasn't entirely wrong.
While the NPC Soldiers are in the Veteran Class, Freya, Nike and I came into this world at level 1.
"Let's go back."
"Yes, Raven-sama."
With the sunset upon us, we set out on our way back.
Even though I have managed to solve a problem that was actually much simpler than I thought, and I have also managed to level up, I can not help but feel some dissatisfaction.
The fact that I didn't feel remorse after killing a goblin doesn't mean anything.
Probably unconsciously I also saw the goblins as insignificant creatures, I mean, a moment ago I compared killing one with the feeling of killing a cockroach, right?
In short, this event didn't answer my question.
Am I NPC, or am I truly Aioi Housei?
I suppose there is still need time and information to resolve my doubt... no, I should probably forget about it and simply enjoy this world.