The day was quite gloomy. All the landscapes were obstructed with mist and fog. I woke up early that day. The distracting sound of Wang Chhu was terrible.
The acceleration was drastically increased hitting the edges and swallowing up the banks. The turquoise blue Wang Chhu turned dark-brownish and muddy. The sun was absolutely blanketed by the roaring cloudage.
The awful sound resonated and echoed in my ears that hampered my usual sound sleep. Usually such sound is considered to bring bad news. I don't know what bad news I am going to hear.
As usual, I went to the bathroom and washed my body. Sister handed me the morning tea. I sipped it mindfully realising each and every taste. I could feel something missing from me but everything is with me!
My phone vibrated. It was a new number. I picked up the phone. It was a firm man coarse voice that suddenly made me panic.
"Good morning! Is it Dawa?" The tone of the voice trembled me.
"Yes....I am" I replied, still gazing at the screen. I was confused whether to tap the red button or bear what that beast is going to say.
"I am SP of Thimphu..." I was thunderstruck and might have peed as well. Why he needed to call me? Did I do any crime? "We have found a diary dedicated to you. Where are you?"
"Uh...I-I am here at Babesa only." I replied, panting heavily. My lungs contracted rendering me difficulty in breathing.
"Just remain there."
Countless thoughts made me unconscious. Who has dedicated that diary to me? Is there any crime associated with it? No! I haven't done anything wrong.
It's 12:00. The door was knocked. I was apprehended with fears. Oh God! Help me. I tiptoed and opened the door. There were two police officers in blue suits waiting for me.
"Are you Dawa?" One of the officers inquired me, taking out the brownish covered diary.
"Yes. But why?" I asked back, startled.
"Yesterday evening, one girl did herself in. When we were investigating, we found this diary in her room."Another officer replied.
"But who was that girl!" I asked almost passed out.
"As per the information we got, her name is Wangmo."
"Wangmo?" I was blank
"Yes." He replied handing over the diary to me. I kept on staring until they vanished over the winding expressway. The tears rolled down my cheeks. Why did she top herself? Why did she come here? More tears rolled down the deep gorge of my narrow shaped nose and dropped on her diary.
I went inside the room and reposed. It was really hard for me to open the diary. After breathing mindfully for three times, I slowly opened the first page of the diary. It was beautifully written, "To my love Dawa''. Oh God! What the fuck did I do?
I slipped the next page. It was written with red ink:
"Hi over there! I hope one day this diary would be in your hand. You would be flipping one by one and understanding how damn I loved you. I am really sorry that I really disturbed and obstructed your good life. But, I promise that from today I will never disturb you, my tsagay.
It's really painful for me to completely forget you cause I loved you from the inner core of my heart. But, what to do? Fate is cruel! I couldn't make you mine. I did many stupid things onto you. I am really sorry. I was mad in your love, you heard me? " I was already sobbing. My eyes were completely brimmed with moaning tears. I couldn't control myself.
"I am really sorry for what I did. I am convinced that you were not made for me and me not for you. I was torturing and pressurising you. I am really sorry! You know? When you smiled during Teacher's Day, I was really happy that you too had some soft parts for me. But I was wrong.
I suffered like anything and I think nobody suffered like me. Each and every second seemed like a year for me. I was already death when you ignored me. You know? Love is really powerful that's why today I am sacrificing myself for my unrequited love.
I was really shocked when I saw you with another girl. Moreover, I was death when you two were kissing each other. I never got such love from you. You never knew how much I loved you. From today, I won't see you and that pains me incredibly. No problem. I would definitely meet you in our next life. I will pray for that!" I was crying by then.
"My love, please remain happy with your new love. I wish she will give you love you desired. I will pray for your success!"
With priceless love,
Your Wangmo
XXX
I was hurt. I didn't notice that my tears have wetted her diary. I will treasure it.
I closed my eyes and prayed for her peace ahead. RIP.