I walked into the classroom, it was lunchtime and everyone was yondering about.
Some were going to club activities, some were restfully eating their lunch from their plastic lunch boxes or just plainly bought meals from the cafeteria. And some are just gazing off into the empty and sitting in a place away from the distortion of the world. Just like me.
I sat in my seat, and I looked around my surroundings. the classroom was spacious due to the lack of students. There were only 9 people in the classroom. And 9, of 'em fell into two categories.
The group clique and the uninterested loner. Who, better to describe this divide than myself!
I rebounded my face down to my table, I pulled out my phone and checked if I had any new messages or calls. And it was as usual, nothing. I could check the internet and social media but what good would that do. There would just be a bellweather effect in place to devoid me of any meaning I still hold with me.
I relaxed my posture and turned my head towards the roof of the room. And again to the table, and place my head on my hand, with my elbow on the table and thus supporting my head.
Another moment of a peaceful co-existence that rarely happens on a day like today. When I first came here, all of this fell exciting because this was all new to me. But years and months later, I'm bored with all this. Even though, I haven't seen all of it, I just feel no comfort anymore looking at this construction of wishes and dreams. This is a sort of suffering. A feeling of a phantom pain.
I wonder if I have to do this forever. It's the same thing over and over. My existence is just a suffering. Life holds nothing but suffering but there is a silver lining to that suffering. In the case, there isn't, then why do I keep searching for one.
Sounds naive, isn't it? Well, naiveness is all I have right now, keeping me going. Logic doesn't always reveals the answer, no, sometimes it's human emotions. And my human emotions want me to exist. And so I go on existing. I go on narrating these lines and I go on to exist before as nothing more than a thinly veil, poorly written character that you read just for the kicks of it.
And I am often forced to ask myself,
"What is it, that all of us unknowingly crave?"
It's not fame, not to be some messiah, it's not some fantasy to be the world's most richest person and it's not to be as great and kind as to be compared to Mother Teresa or Florence Nightingale, No.... because those are just superficial.
What we crave but aren't aware of it, is the feeling of authenticity, to be aware of the "truth", to feel a genuine sense of unity and equality. But what we end up finding is just some superficial means of self -fulfilment.
We end up accepting lies and conforming to it's ideals of authenticity. Society itself is just superficial construction, it was created by men who feared instrumentality and the truth of existence.
True freedom has a cost and not all of us are willing to pay it.
Look at me, I'm pretty much the guy who can't decide whether to reign in his freedom or to stubbornly hold on to it. Here I am, thinking about it, discoursing about it over and over without end. I'm pretty much lost in scrabble of my mind palace.
But soon, I was yanked back to the light of reality. A sharp pain went through my nerve system.
"Ouch!"I yelled out in pain. And I fell out my chair from the surprise of the pain. My nerve system then immediately pointed me to the origin of the pain.
I sat on the ground and tried relieving my pain on my head. Too think, hair pulling was still allegeable to be done to a good student is remarkable.
From below, I looked towards the perpetrator above.
"So, are you back or do I have to throw some water on you too?" As he said while crisscrossing his arms. And his hair alittle wet.
"Yeah. You could have just ask rather than pulling my hair, Akechi." I responded to him, with a face of angst.
"Yeah. I tried, but you were too far lost. So, I resorted to pulling your hair and what you know, it WORKED!" He said to me, with a smug face.
Might as ask him, why he bothered yanking me out of my mind palace. But in most cases, guys like Akechi Goro only do it out of a sense of "fun". Whatever that sadistic variant of dopamine of theirs is. In that case, I'm seriously gonna clover him.
"So, what you want?" I bluntly asked him
"I need your help with some paper work."
What do I look like to you, Akechi Goro, a press secretary?
I raised an eye brow and after a few seconds, I answered,"Yeah. I think, in that case, you came to the wrong place."
"Nope, this is the right place because your sitting on the floor infront of me."
I was still sitting on the floor, I realised. So, I tried to stand up and Akechi offered his hand to pull me up. But I used the chair that was beside me as my support instead. But it was too little, too late. 12 pointe had already been deducted from my social status of "cool" while I was sitting on the floor for 2 minutes. I guess, I can certainly call myself an idiot.
"Well, then you came to the wrong guy. Sanji isn't here. Neither is Song or Kamitani-san" I said to him.
"I ain't looking for them. Besides, they already shot me down. So did everybody I asked." He said,
Wait, so I'm the spare tire? You could have said I was the first guy you asked. I would have felt more sympathy towards helping you.
"So don't you go bailing out on me too!" He stubbornly persisted.
"Yeah....on other thoughts, I got some things to do after school. So, sorry, I can't help ya." I answered while tension flowed ever more vigorously through my brain.
"No, you don't. I checked with your mom. She says you do nothing but loaf around at home after school and not go anywhere there after."
Wait, how did he get mom's number, and that fox of a woman, I called mother.
"Eh... how did you get my mom's cell?" I asked him.
"Oh, Kakeshi-kun gave it to me. Just in case, you got into trouble. You know, his very worried about you."
"Yeah. I do other things when I'm home and while, I'm not home as well." I said, while analysing my escape strategy.
"Well, if you help me, I can get you early leave. It's a favour for the student council, after all."(Akechi)
"Why didn't you say that to begin with?" I said to him,
"I'll take that as a yes." He said, he exclaimed in joy and dopamine coursed through his veins, "Okay, meet me after fourth period." He added and then as he had came, he went.
I'm in eighth grade. Atleast, I should enjoy the joy of bunking school in a legal and lawful manner in accordance to the school.
What started out as a normal day for me, eventually turned into situation where I as presented with the keys of heaven. And all for what? A few scraps of paper, I had to drench in ink?
But something tells me, it ain't all that simple.
"The prophecy has been completed", I whispered, as came to realise my words.
What was supposed to be some paper work, turned out to be large sums of papers. A whole heap of papers was placed before me.
I took a piece of the paper from it, I read the contents. The first thing that was written was the name of the person who wrote it, "Genji Fujimiya." and after it were the class designations, grade, address, roll number and cell numbers, along with a signature and the person who was the recipient of what ever this paper entailed him.
And I was not the only one here pertaining to this, I was surrounded by scores of people. The room I had come to, had all this benches lined up in a square. Students, they were. They were all swarming upon these heaps. Some I could make out as student council members but other I couldn't identify as anything either than students from another school beside mine. There were also some teachers present, but most of all there are female students! What kind of mess did I get myself into? It's even getting dark. I should be at home. This is seriously scary!
Akechi came up to me, with another pile of stock paper. I popped a vein upon seeing it.
"Akechi, what kind of mess did you get me into now?" (Takeo)
"Oh, didn't I tell you?"
"Not in the slightest."(Takeo)
"Umm..the student council was given the duty of arranging and organising the paperwork for the national exams. The student council of the high school division was supposed to help us but they bailed out and now, we're stuck with processing the adage of the high schoolers as well. Long story short, we're low on people and heavy on work."
I wish, I could go back in time and punch my older self and stop him from agreeing to this. The student council of the high school bailed on this? Isn't this what there supposed to do? See this is why dependency and kindness are two idiotic things and why I oppose it.
And damn the Government for budget cuts that we, THE STUDENTS are being coerced into doing what should be the job for the education ministry.
"Okay. You're on correctional duty. All you gotta do is to sort out the 9th grade forms and input it in to the computer, Easy right?"(Akechi)
Right beside me, was a computer which conveniently had a form already open to be opened. For more comfort, signatures and photos had already been posted to the database.
Akechi went on for a few more minutes and taught me what I had to do and how. For a moment, he looks like he has a bright future in management.
Akechi, then looked as if he was superior and went off to whatever he was doing, he might as well be some spokesman for a fashion firm, who always stresses that his firm doesn't do anything that endangers animals and ponders to the media about PETA spinning wild tales.
I was duped into this situation, there can't be any benefits from this. Besides, the fact of gaining knowledge of how more shitty and lazy seniors can be.
Well, as I may as well get started. As there's no way for me to back out and there are a lot of people might as well as try to conjure up some more good rep.