The practice room was inundated with staffs, utilizing the spaciousness of the place as a concert stage and all the required pieces of equipment were stashed at further crevices of it. Loud resonance of the songs to be played later on buried all the hums and busy talks passed down to each of us. Six boys gathered around the center as the main dancer continued to instruct them until the level of pitch perfection. I eyed each one of them every time as I constantly passed by with the alibi of being busy with works. The open-air concert dates were filed after one and a half month. They had been practicing so hard, like nothing else had a meaning in their life. Even Suga, the one who always tended to find the smallest second of time to be able to lie down and slack off seemed threatening, daunting.
"Be careful with your steps more, Jimin." Hoseok instructed the boy as he tripped on his toes twice consecutively. Gasps heaved his chest up and down. I couldn't but lay my eyes more than just one second upon him. Even though in a state of being all sweaty and enervated, he looked nothing less than svelte.
The past few days, I barely got to saw Jimin of all the boys. Whenever I got a glimpse, he appeared exhausted, on the verge of slumping to the ground out of fatigue. I wondered how much he had been practicing, if he had started cutting off his meals in the name of almighty diet again. He had gone much quieter, at least towards me. It should have had helped me instead, to get my freaking mind to its real state, however, nothing was helping. The days without seeing him went on well, apparently well, but just then the day when I saw him again, all the perseverance crashed and broke to splinters like nothing but a sheer glass, meant to be broken. I feared what Momo earlier said to me.
"When things start to affect you, they get you trapped bit by bit that at one time, you can't let go. Y/N, don't let yourself fall into that. Emotion is such a thing, once you fall deeper, you can't go back."
I couldn't let her words be right.
Now for the quarter part of a second when his orbs shifted to me darting a glance before he went back to practice his steps, I realized the small sigh escaping my lungs. Having a quandary that kills you and at the same time, sadistically euphoric, made me want to fuck myself as a human. Made me want to accelerate the time to the clock hour when I would be out of this havoc to my old real life. I wished.
'Microphones check, amplifiers check, speaker set-' It was time for the boys' break and the workhour of us. Carrying the bunch of cables piled up in my one hand, I was too attentive at looking down my list that I almost bumped into someone walking by. 'Whoo! Sorry, Namjoon.' Namjoon smiled, 'Be more careful. Too much work, eh?'
'Nah it's all good. I should be going.' Not too late after I had finished my word, the manager shouted my name. 'Y/N!'
'Coming...' I grumbled under my breath before skedaddling to his direction. He stood akimbo with his forehead wrinkled. As soon as I reached up to him, he dumped the set of microphones in my hand and yelled, 'They are not working!'
Is that my fault? I said, 'Seon Yong was supposed to check them out. Did he?'
'I don't know where his little ass is. Go replace them.' He shoved all the tiny little structures in my hand and indexed at the exit.
The cables were wrapped in a small ball of a knot and the socket was like, one foot higher than the length until which my hands could reach.
'Do you need help?' Almost startled at the sudden reach of voice, I looked back, finding Kim Taehyung standing just behind me.
'No it's fine, I will find a ladder- woa-' I flinched as the male wrapped his arms around my lower leg and pulled me up. Awkwardness heated my cheeks but he was nonchalant. I sheepishly smiled to say 'Thanks' and forcibly diverted my erratic mind towards what I was supposed to do.
Fixing the cables took a minute. He put me down. I smiled and thanked him again. 'Is everything good now?'
'Yes. They are, thank you. You must go to practice. Don't roam around.' I added a hint of sternness as it. He scratched his neck before saying, 'Yess-si, noona.' He scurried back to the center of the room, the cadence of 'Stigma' soon played by.
Shredding two seconds of staring at that, I got back to checking the microphones again. I tested blowing air to the mouth part, uttered a small '1 2 3'. Three checks after, the sets stopped working again, no matter how much I pulled the cables they wouldn't vocalize my utterings louder. I sighed again and looked up. It would be better if I just replaced the cables- I thought. But first, how to get back up there now?
I had just thought of it, the question. The instant I was pulled upward like before, I gasped at the sudden contact of two arms again around my legs, a new flood of warmth encircled me within. All I could hear now were ASMR of some breaths, just the sound of it, and I could conjecture who it was.
'Do your work already.' I shivered at the sound of his voice. Jimin held me more protectively within his arms so that I didn't fall. But. I was afraid. I was afraid to fall.
In the pit again.
There was a ringing sound collapsing my environment, I could only perceive my pulse getting mixed rhythms, and him. His eyes, looking up and fixed on me.
It was nothing special, but why did his touch felt different? His eyes and face were blank, no emotions afloat, but why did my heart still lose its control of beats?
All I knew, my honesty to my mind reviewed, and I wanted the Park for me.
'Careful Y/N. Don't fall.' His face was always of a professional enigma that he was, never a drop of anything but callousness could reside over the flawlessness.
If I fall, will you fall with me? My other self would be waiting above the pit with an extended hand that had tried to save me, would I be able to smile at it and say 'I'm fine?', would I be able to say, 'it felt good to fall free.'? Would you stay with me in the darkness of the pit? Or would I lose your hand, lose myself in the voidness?
You would do that, wouldn't you? I knew who you were to me, but I couldn't and wouldn't let you be mine.
Jimin fidgeted, moving his arms slightly. I finally realized the long period he had been holding me like this.
'Sorry.' I quickly detangled the cables and plugged them in again. He put me down to the ground. I uttered a small 'thanks' formally with bowing. He stared at me for a while, unshifting.
'What?' I said.
'You look terrible. Get some rest. ' With that, he turned around to leave, to leave a mess of me.
I had gone nuts that I fell for that Park.
The evening rushed in soon, the number of activities deceased as weariness finally held our bodies and souls possessed. Staffs had sit down to take a break, a few were busy with arranging the tools back to use for the next day. I had secluded myself to a corner with a cup of coffee in my hand and watched the members. Hoseok stayed back for more practice, Namjoon said he would be in his studio. Jungkook had left already for his golden closet. Taehyung left for dorm, I couldn't see Jimin around, wondered where he was. I would have scuttled myself out to my sweet home too following the rest calling it a day, not if Suga the only member of all hadn't caught my eyes at the right time, with the way he quietly sneaked his way out without waving a bye to any of all.
He seemed suspicious, and I had no work. So I followed him.
He escorted himself out of the building and took a small walk, ambling down the street. His hand shuffled inside one of his pockets and later I saw him bringing a packet of cigarette out. I had never seen him smoke before.
It took him two attempts to light up the cigar, he held it between his two fingers and gently released a big fog of smoke. He continued to pass down the footpath nonchalant with the big crowd of people around him. Securing a little amount of distance between us, I followed the same direction as his. Maybe he was just out for fresh air before he got back to his work in the studio or dorm. But I had learned my lesson. A little act of carelessness could have cost me a chance of getting any evidence against them.
The crowd seemed to get lesser as he walked further and further, then took a right turn. After he disappeared at that side, following him, within a minute I was about to turn too, then a momentary hand abruptly pushed me around to the crevice. My face almost scraped against the wall. I sizzled.
'Why are you following me?' Suga's low stern voice hissed behind me, 'Tell me the truth, Y/N.'
'Yoongi?' I tried to smile even at that stage, I had to appear shocked and innocent at the same time, 'What are you doing?' He didn't seem affected by my acting, 'I didn't get my answer!'
I quickly tugged my hand inside my pocket, luckily I could find something.
'This,' I brought out a wireless earbud and held before him, 'You left this behind. I saw you leaving not too long ago, so I thought I could return them to you.'
Although this was not the strongest alibi, although these were in reality mine and although I knew with this reason upheld, I could have just handed them over to any of the members and told him to give it back to Yoongi, this was the only thing I could come up within my brain. Sometimes, at the worst time in the worst situation, I was the worst one out in fibbing.
He stared me with disbelieving eyes, then added, 'These are not mine.'
'Not? Oh, I thought-' I sheepishly smiled, 'I must have mistaken. Sorry. I'll get back now then.' I turned around to leave, his eyes still gouged out me. My legs jittered at its pace when he called me from behind, 'Who are you, Y/N?'
I stopped.
'Just who are you??' He continued, 'Everything about you speaks lies to me, you don't just act like the silly manager you should be, while I can't find out the truth about you...'
I must not look back and just proceed to my journey, I must not turn around and face him for it. Curse me later, my devil brain found it playful, I had smirked controlled by my subconscious self and questioned back the male. Little part of me inside wanted to test him.
'What makes you think that I am all lies?'
'Y-' A quick and loud clank of noise, produced due to the collision of metal with a wall brick buried his voice. A knife landed on the ground, sharp edge now blunt due to the hit. I looked at my left. A group of guys skittered down from the other side of the street, knives, and guns in their hands. I knew who they were, they were from the same group who had tried to kidnap me from the lane before Big Hit. Right now they didn't even yield to do their work in peace and seclusion.
'Shit.' Yoongi gripped my wrist and pulled me inside the alley. We rushed to the inner corner, only to find out it was a dead-end.
'Oh dear, we're in deep trouble.' He cursed under his breath. My heart thumped at first upon the sudden thirst of situation, but then I enjoyed. I was not scared of what would happen next, what would I do to save myself even though I knew they were most probably after me basing on that knife shot. I liked the reaction of the male, wanting to see what he would do now.
With me as an eyewitness, would he show his true self and fight those guys, even kill? Or would he...surrender?