Hey, let me tell you a story,
Once there was a heart which was made of paper. People threw it away, wrinkled, ignored. No one paid it a heed, not even tried to. Then, a matchstick arrived. With the littlest existence and a small flame on its top, it didn't let its fire get abated for one single second, even though it was fully aware of thyself turning into ashes. On that very day, the paper was illuminated. And the secrets it held, were unveiled.
That paper heart aforesaid was, mine. And you, were the matchstick to my heart. Even if you burn down to ashes, even if I, burn down to alike carbon scintillas,
At least we will burn together,
So, shall we?
A flurry of dry brown leaves fell down on my lap getting detached from the long, thin, fragile limb of the tree, leaning towards the shore. Slowly I brushed them off one by one, getting touched by another mass next moment. It seemed like a game between us, me and the shelter giving tree on top of my head. No one had the motive to win, rather just having some fun for thyself.
The irritating sound of ringtone sang by the phone was the only thing that could distract me from my peaceful state that moment, which it did. I didn't want to pick it up, I could've not picked it up. Nevertheless, I did.
'Hello.'
'Y/N, where are you? I have been trying to reach you since ages. We need you to be at the base while we do the research. They are shooting up on me because of you, girl...'
'Momo, I uh...can you please make it up for me today? I can't get to the base right now...'
'Wae? Why can't you?' 'Please just...' I decided to lie, 'Big Hit gave me tons of work to get done within this week, I can't even breathe. If I don't get my work done within the deadline, you know...'
'Ohh, okay. I will get your part managed then. Securing the job in there is more important than anything else in this mission. Work well and take care.'
'Talk to you later.' I smiled and cut off the call, concentrating on the sound of nature. Psithurism.
A sigh of unfamiliar reason smoked out from my dry pale lips. It was just another...day? Which comes back every year, captured by several pieces of memories I held. A blue shade. I didn't want to remain like this. I wanted to smile, yes I did want to. But my teeth won't glaze out, my senses won't let me breathe in peace. So...here I was...
My slightly rough hair was dancing with the sporty wind running through the whispering cracks of leaves, and I let it flow. The ground I sat on was no longer green, rather covered by a mat of brown and yellow leaves, making a soft yet crackling bedsheet of comfort. Similar to the way leaves fall down one by one from a tree, a year drops off a person's life line, one after another, by passing of some seconds, minutes, to a certain limit of days.
Another year has passed, nothing has changed. Another will, soon. Will anything change that time?
Will I be the same person that I am now? Or will I become someone different, attaining something so precious that can change my entire existing self? Or, lose something, that will break me only to get built up in a new way?
Maybe, the second one. If something even happens, that is what most likely to happen. As I am too acquainted with going under it, it won't be a new type of thing for me. Breaking, standing up, that's a human I was like.
Even an all the time polished and painted tower starts to crack inside, shaking with its feeble foundation, why aren't I? I wasn't something different. Maybe my foundation too was shaking. All that I can do is wait, wait till my fall comes, wait till I fall down the same way the autumn leaves do. The leaves fall down beautifying the nature, maybe my fall would beautify the surroundings too, expressing gratitude to the people who bared to live along with me with their astonishing power of tolerance. No one remembers the leaves of second spring, as they come back every year. Neither will they remember me, as a girl like me, is not someone to be remembered of.
I didn't mind, I never would. My mind never was in the urge of someone to recall my presence. The blank space on the red thing what called heart had no one's name written on it, and I reserved it for myself. As, in the end, it will be me who will remain with me, by my side. No one else.
'Y/N?' a rain-like drop of water joined the vast lake departing from somewhere of the tree above, and I heard a voice marching from my back, followed by a sound of footsteps coming closer.
'Woah, I see you like my hideout place. I never knew I would see you in here again after I showed you that day. Guess it's not only mine anymore.' The very familiar sound of chuckle reached my ears sooner the rustling of leaves stopped. The person stood behind me.
'Sorry Jimin,' I stretched my legs to stand up, 'for ruining your perfect place like this. I guess I will get myself outta here then.'
'Woah, Woah, sit down girl,' he grabbed my wrist and pushed me down to sit beside him, 'I was just joking and you literally took it in a serious manner. It's pretty right now, so enjoy.'
I didn't leave any word in reply, since he didn't need any. Instead, I just looked forward in silence. Staring at the vast crystal melted in the form of a lake, it felt hollow and dull, yet relaxing in a strange way. Before, this place was only this man's querencia, that he once decided to show me. The more the time had passed, I found it becoming mine too. Perhaps, this place had the aura of itself, making every person feel closer and homely, whoever to come by near it.
'I went to your home at first, you weren't there. Why weren't you picking up my call?'
'You called?' 'Well yeah?'
'Perhaps I didn't see. Why were you looking for me?'
'Well...' He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, 'Why are you sitting here alone all by yourself though, on this special day?' I turned at him, 'Huh?'
'Are you surprised? Yah! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' He squealed like a baby, giving the strangest version of Hula dance while I just sat down with my mouth agape from surprise and confusion.
...How did he know?
'Oh c'mon now! Give a smile at least...' He stopped his dancing hands, 'Are you sad because you are getting old?'
'But how did you know?' 'Again, you. are. our manager! And I was curious, I checked it out a long time ago.''
'Oh, I see...' I curled up my knees to move a short distance away from his overexcited self, willing to gain back the peaceful Heimat feeling I was surrounded with until a minute ago. My phone again disrupted the feeling, with some beeps, more annoying than an incoming call itself.
Happy Birthday, manager-noona. Hope that you are having your best day ever. Let happiness cling you with glitter mails. Namjoon.
S-A-E-N-G I-LLL C-H-U-G HA-HABNIDAAA!! Be sure get the best blast of your life, manager-nim. We are coming to make your day special. Your forever sunshine, J Hope.
Happy birthday Y/N. Thank you for working so hard for us. Lots of love for you from me and all, let's work harder and walk till we reach the stars. Kim Taehyung.
Instead of clicking further to check out the rest, I looked up for an answer from the male who was busy scratching his neck, 'Well yeah, I told them all about it.'
'Aish! Y/N ah...' passing some minutes of no talk, he decided to speak up himself to eliminate the silence, 'Is something wrong? Why are you so somber today? Did something happen?'
'No I am all fine.' I murmured. 'Then c'mon. let's go to someplace.' 'Where?'
'You will see.' He arched his eyebrow, speaking in his mysterious deep voice. I shrugged, 'I can't go, Jimin.' 'Why?' 'I-I don't celebrate my birthdays.'
'Well, why not?'
'I just don't. I have my reasons. Please don't force. Just let me be. If you want me to have a nice birthday, please just let me do this.'
He jerked his head slightly, releasing a small sigh of giving up, 'Okay then. If that's what you want.' With that, he sat down beside me too. Few minutes passed in silence like the way I wanted, but I knew the male wasn't a person to sit down longer like this. So, yeah, he spoke breaking with impatience, again.
'Damn, it's boring. Y/N, let's play a game. Just one.' He picked up a stone and aimed at the lake surface, 'Let's throw rocks and see whose one travels farthest!'
Sitting here with the arrival of this guy now would bring me anything but no silence anymore- the fact I was completely acknowledged of. So, even though I wasn't eager to work my lazy sitting body, I never minded taking part in a challenge, 'Aha? Okay, but I won't play without any prize.'
'A prize? All right then, but what should be the prize? Oh, I know...' He gave off an eloquent evil smile, 'Whoever loses, will do whatever the other wants them to do.'
'That's lame. Na nah,' I moved my index, 'Make it better.'
'That means you are afraid that you are gonna lose.' He shot another bullet of his playful smirk, 'Just admit it. I ain't forcing you to play. I just thought you are a confident and assertive woman.'
'Stop provoking me, will ya? Fine, let's see who wins.' He grinned victoriously and I glared at him.
'Alright. Me first, okay?' Finding the perfectly shaped stone. he moved towards the frontage and aimed while bending his leg. I observed his posture and unskilled holding of stone, knowing that his piece wouldn't skip for a longer time on the surface. I curled my lips for one second, fixing an already-winner gaze as he threw his bet-on pebble.
'Five.' Surprisingly, the stone crossed a distance, breaking my assumption of its ability to jump only twice. He made a tsk in satisfaction, and looked at me, 'Your turn.'
I picked up my lucky looking stone and proceeded to take my aim. Back at the time of my special training as an agent, our troop was often sent for camping at variable places. It was fun, it was adventurous, one of the parts I liked my hard yet enjoyable training. Playing with pebbles over the marshes thus became one of the hobbies I trained myself in at those times. To say, I was pretty expert in it, and I was admittedly proud.
'Ten! Double of yours, haha.' I stuck out my tongue at the disappointed face of the male. He pursed his lips, 'Alright. What do you want me to do?'
'Ah, lemme think.' I clicked my fingers, 'How about- give me 10 push-ups. No, 25.'
'25?' He scorned with disbelief. 'Does it seem too less? Okay, give 50 then.'
'What the-? 25 it is.' Exasperating, he lied down and started his free hand exercise. Every time he bent his biceps leaning towards the ground, those muscles flexed making his strong shoulder line out in a prominent way. The curve on his arm was all through seeable from the fold of his sleeves. I couldn't but stare.
What? It was an amazing sight to look at.
'Now, my turn.' He took another pebble from the ground and shot, this time more determined than before, as if he was playing to save his own life. With him, I counted each step the stone took over the surface.
'8. Impressive.' I took my pebble and aimed. Being thoroughly boastful, I didn't even intend to try hard.
The lake was still with no pass of the zephyr. The moment I was about to throw the stone, the wind decided to blow, the all-time traitor I could probably put on my list. My hair lock slid out from behind of my ear and fell before my eyes, blocking the view. My angle shifted, as soon as I threw the stone, I knew, I was going to regret.
'4. Aish! Y/N-i. You lost...' I groaned seeing the stone drown in the blue scene of the lake in failure while he kept on doing his needly mocks, 'Rules are rules. Now now, what should I tell you to do?'
'What is it? Just spill out already' I eddied my eyeballs in a show of the most ignorant face I could hold.
'Kiss me.' He said, in a casual voice.
'What?'