I sat draped across the sofa, in a relaxed yet stately manner as I rewarded the Television across me with my attention.
It had been a few days since I sent away those mails, surely I have gotten the replies back. I just have not checked. Elegant people are always late, after all.
Instead I've been busy with more paramount affairs - those regarding the fledging Empire under my command. Our territories were vast and we had expanded massively through fierce and glorious combat. Thousands had perished in my name and even more sacrificed to my greatness.
Yes, indeed. My nemesis, those heretical stairs had finally been exterminated and we had conquered it's territory and expanded into the Plains of Fertility. Thereby securing food our loyal citizens, ensuring my citizens have food is how one stays in power.
Well that should have happened, apparently the fridge was empty but whatever my loyal citizens would rather starve to death than rise up against me in rebellion. Well, that and the fact I don't have any citizens yet, a mere technicality, I assure you.
I see the news appear on the television as I focus on what the global events are, an important manner when you are a newly crowned King.
"Breaking News, Genius or Madman?
In shocking news, various companies around the world have all given press conferences where they ask the self-proclaimed King King, who according to their statements, is the actual name which this individual goes by. Famed Oogle CEO stated:
"In the email, the sender repeatedly calls himself King until the end where he seems to remember that Kings have a royal name. Where he states: `Why would I need a name? I am the King, the only king, well whatever if I need a name just call me King King.` If you are him, please contact us at Oogle, we look forward to coperate with you and agree to your stated terms."
The remarkable words uttered by the Oogle CEO, are further impressed upon the fact that similar statements have been releashed from almost every major company around the globe.
With me here today is Doctor. Elizabeth Ambri, PhD in Psychology. Tell me Doctor. Elizabeth what is your evaluation about this supposed "King King" and gosh do I feel stupid saying that.
"Well, thank you for having me here Diana. The matter is complex, I have been read various of the emails he wrote, and the all point to one singular point. He is mad, an absolute raving maniac."
What? ME MAD? ARE YOU MAD? THIS IS TREASON. I screamed mentally in shock, running towards a notepad before furiously scribbling in her name. I shall remember this! Consumed by my royal rage I completely missed what they said.
"Oh, dear, what makes you say that Doctor?"
"Well firstly, of all the emails I had access to read, they were all unique, a baffling conclusion. This King King, apparently invented a revolutionary algorithm only to spend what I can only presume to be thousands of hours writing emails to the various companies. However, what is most confusing is the content of these emails, they are all gibberish. The average lenght appears to be 5000 words, of which around 2,000 are dedicated to praising himself."
"Praising himself?"
"Yes, it's the most intriguing thing I've seen. Every single letter is unique in the way he praises himself. The amount of time he must have spent, consumed by the need to praise his apparent "August Self" is immense and where I base arguments for my conclusion - only a mad man would do that. Admittedly now an extremely wealthy mad man." Doctor. Elizabeth Green said with a nervous gulp.
"Indeed. Well if he is rich and a mad man, I certainly would not want to make an enemy out of him. Truly your courage shocks me, Doctor Elizabeth Green."
Shaking myself out of my fugue, I turn to gaze at the television once more.
"What? You don't think he would? No, no. He wouldn't. Would he?" Doctor Green said in an increasingly nervous tone,I noted. Apparently having a breakdown on stage.
I could make out the hostess, wave to someone off stage and promptly two large men in suits appeared and escorted the now crying Doctor Green offstage. I saw the legs of the hostess shake as she muttered, barely audibly to even me.
"Fuck, I had to get her out of here, I don't fucking want to get caught in the middle of that. A genius that is mad and rich beyond beliefe and you just called him crazy, are you suicidal, why did you have to involve me? You fucking bitch. I need to get a new identity, a new job. I heard Canada around this time a year."
Shaking my head sagely, in disapproval.
"And they call me mad?" Laughing I wondered what did that make them?
Whatever. A king cannot be questioned by commoners after all, what did I care what they thought?