Prince Nan had been so anxious his consort would reject him that when his lips met hers, he barely recalled it.
His lips continued to just lightly touch hers, waiting for her answer.
She wasn't rejecting his touch this time.
With his heart still pounding like crazy, he began to advance. He dared not to be forceful, afraid he would scare her off. He was the one to suffer. Suffer the need to passionately kiss her.
His mouth gently covered hers as he slowly and selfishly sucked at her lips. Refusing to let go until he had taken all the sweetness from her lips.
When he felt his urge overtake him, his lips pressed rougher onto hers.
Yu Mei felt her body go weak again. His touch always made her lose all her senses. She knew she shouldn't have allowed it but his kiss was so tender...so soft...yet so powerful. When ladies spoke of a man taking their breath away, she laughed at them. Now she understood. He literally took her breath away and she was dangerously attracted to him.
Pei Nan almost lost all senses when she returned his kiss. His hand found the back of her nape. He aimlessly played with her hair as he continued to kiss her senselessly.
The two of them were caught up in a passionate kiss as Pei Nan continued to push Yu Mei closer and closer to the bed. She was lost in thoughts thus she hadn't realized he had done so. The back of her legs hit the edge of the bed and she lost her balance. But he didn't let her fall roughly as he had a hand at her back, laying her down gently.
She lay on her back with Pei Nan on top of her.
His kiss only got deeper and deeper and she felt her body become dizzy.
He unwillingly parted with her lips. His hands were placed at both sides of her shoulders as he hovered on top of her, looking down at her rosy pink cheeks. He had only wanted to kiss her but now that she was right here, trapped beneath him, he wanted more. He bent down and found the soft skin of her neck. He gently nibbled at her neck, slowly making his way down to her shoulders, kissing every inch of her body.
Yu Mei closed her eyes and allowed him to explore her body with his mouth.
His hand slid from her thigh up to her waist until he found the waist string to her gown. With one rough pull, the string unraveled as her gown loosened.
She finally realized what he was doing. Her eyes opened widely and she reached to grab his hand.
He looked up at her. What he saw was not the woman who had passionately kissed him earlier, but a woman who was frightened. He cupped her cheek and asked worriedly, "Yu Mei, what's wrong?"
"I don't want you." Her cold breathless words pierced his heart. The hurt in his eyes were obvious. She didn't mean it like that. "Not like this…not now. Especially since we don't love each other."
Those words caused all the colors in his face to drain. Love? Did she not love him?
He took a deep breath. "If you didn't love me, why did you desperately force this marriage between us back then?"
No words came out. Whether the real Pan Yu Mei loved him or not was something she did not know. She dared not answer for the real Pan Yu Mei. It would not be right for her to do so.
Her lips moved but no words came out.
He sighed.
"Pan Yu Mei, it's better for me not to know. Whether you love me or not, I don't want to know." The passionate look in his eyes were still there, even after she had spoken those cruel words to him. She thought he would be utterly enraged but she could not sense a single trace of hate or disgust in his gaze. She thought she had mistaken, he looked as if he understood her meaning.
"Did I treat you that terribly?" He questioned. Deeply regretting his every action back then. "I don't blame you for the way you are acting towards me. I've indeed neglected and mistreated you in the past. Whether you did love me back then or whether you simply fell out of love, I have no one to blame but myself. Even though I am dying to know, I won't force you to answer. Matter of fact, I never want to hear your answer."
"Why?" She couldn't help but ask. Was he really not going to listen to her explanation?
"I'm afraid my heart cannot handle your response."
For the first time, Pei Nan let the wall he had built around himself shatter. He himself did not know why he had done so. To be so bare and real in front of her. He had truly gone insane.
Yu Mei felt her whole body go cold.
"I think I'm falling for you. Whether it's really love or not, I intend to find out. And I'll make you love me at the end." Once his declaration was over, he immediately got off and left the room.
[Was that a declaration of love? Pan Yu Mei, you must be crazy. There's no way Prince Nan would have confessed...] She lightly slapped her cheeks a few times. It was real. She wasn't dreaming.
Things had gotten so much more complicated than she expected. To make matters worst, he didn't even listen to her side of the story. What woman in their right mind would sleep with a man she wasn't sure of her feelings for? Not to mention, how could she sleep with him when she was still full of guilt. She still hadn't found a good chance to tell Pei Nan about her and Gu Shao. Sleeping with him would only put more guilt on her conscience. And if he was to kick her out because of the matters between her and Prince Shao, she would have lost her virginity for no reason.
***
The two of them did not get much sleep. Even when she met him in the morning, she did not know where he had slept all night.
After bidding the kids and the Po husband and wife goodbye, the four of them were on their way.
***
No matter how spacious the carriage was, Yu Mei felt suffocated. Being in the same carriage with him wasn't necessarily unbearable. To be precise, it was much more awkward. It didn't help that Pei Nan didn't speak a word to her. He simply leaned back and closed his eyes, as if to avoid her gaze.
She was thankful for that. At least she could pretend he was really sleeping.
Minutes went by and he did not open his eyes once. Thinking that he really did fall asleep, Yu Mei decided she would "examine" him. When would she get a chance to look at him this close again?
[Fine. You're quite handsome, I will agree. But do I love you? I don't even know what love is, how can I ask such a question.] Yu Mei's body went forward, trying to get a better look at him. He was devilishly attractive. Has he always had such a prominent and perfectly defined nose, she thought to herself. She went to touch her face and she pouted. She had not been blessed with a face that could cause the downfall of three cities.
The carriage stopped.
Pei Nan's eyelids fluttered. Yu Mei quickly leaned back to her seat and closed her eyes tightly.
A couple of seconds passed before she opened one eye to peek. A faint smile greeted her. "If you're done being weird, let's go." He didn't wait for her answer before taking hold of her hand and dragging her out of the carriage.
Normally she would have complained and scolded him for taking advantage of her but the view, it was too unreal. Unlike their state of Luoyang, Zhengzhou was crowded with people chattering and laughing amongst themselves. Every corner she turned there were dozens of people wandering along the shops of the street. The scent of dumplings and noodles and shop sellers screaming of candied dates made her stomach go crazy. [Lord, is this food heaven?] She earnestly asked.
*Ahem* he coughed.
She looked back at him. Only remembering he was with her. Her eyes were so brightly lit with excitement that he didn't know what to say or do.
"Xiaojie," Chu'mei called out as she got off the carriage. Feng Ju followed closely behind her. Yu Mei didn't hesitate to grab Chu'mei by the arm the moment she could reach her. If it wasn't for Pei Nan still holding her hand, she would have ran over to Chu'mei excitedly.
"Chu'mei, look at this place. It's amazing!" Yu Mei exaggerated.
"Xiaojie is right. It really is. And it smells amazing!" Chu'mei took a long deep whiff of the food scent in the air.
Feng Ju rolled his eyes. [Fatty~]
As if Pei Nan knew what Yu Mei wanted to ask, he quickly spoke first. "Consort Pan and I are going to look for a gift for mother; Feng Ju, you take Chu'mei with you. Let's meet back here in two hours." Just in time for lunch, Pei Nan had it planned in his head. Little would he know that Yu Mei would be eating at every corner.
And just like that, Chu'mei was separated from her lady. She pouted her lips and turned towards the expressionless Feng Ju. Then she huffed and decided to take her leave. But he followed her.
After a good ten steps, she stopped and stared at him as if he had offended her. "Why are you following me? Didn't his highness say we will meet back in two hours? Go your own way." She tried to shoo him away.
Instead of obeying her, he crossed his arms and shook his head. "Is your brain only filled with food?" he gently knocked her head a few times. "Did you forget his highness told me to take you along. If her ladyship knew I deserted you, what would she think?"
"If my brain isn't filled with food, what would it be filled with? Surely not of you." She retorted.
"I'm so grateful for that." He smart-mouthed her.
"You…" She scrunched her nose and turned away.
He silently followed behind like her shadow.