It was a bleak, cold spring night. The moon cast long shadows over the Bai Manor. In his study, Bai Han sat hunched over a table by a window, surrounded by parchment scrolls from his troops at the borders. Beeswax candles as thick and tall as a man's arm burned on either side of where he sat, on ornate iron holders.
Suddenly, the sound of a knock broke the silence.
Without raising his head from the paper in front of him, he said, "Come in."
The door to the study slid open. The person walked across the room until they stopped in front of his desk.
Bai Han's movements ceased. His head stayed lowered for a moment longer before he lifted his gaze from the paper to study the figure in front of him.
"Grandfather." Rin stared at the old man with a calm expression.
He said not a word and tapped his finger on a book. Helpless to his silence, she could only stand and watch as her grandfather proceeded to ignore her. It had been long moments before she said another word.
"I plan to travel to the Eastern Empire."
"And what will you be doing there?" He set his pen down and looked up at her with folded hands.
"I plan to visit my mother's grave, then gather information on the men who killed her," Rin explained honestly. "After that…I plan to head south of the Eastern Empire."
Bai Han's expression grew darker. His hands folded before him clenched in an effort to not throw anything off the desk.
"And why are you going there?"
"That I cannot tell," Rin replied.
Her grandfather frowned. "You do like to provoke me."
Rin smiled. "I have yet to meet a man I did not provoke."
Bai Han was astonished. He studied her expression, frowning. It irked him to see her so calm and composed. As if she wasn't abandoning them. Abandoning them for the fourth time. With this thought, his mood turned sour.
"So, you plan to leave despite my objection on the matter, investigate some strange men, and then leave to the south without telling me your reason. With all this, you expect me to offer you my blessing?" He leaned back in his seat.
"I can protect myself. It was you who raised me after all." Rin assured him.
He laughed harshly. "Yes, then I should have done a better job at raising you to respect your elders."
"Grandfather…"
"Rin." Bai Han pinched the space between his brows. "I'm trying to understand your reasoning…I truly am. But, no matter how I see it, you'll only end up getting hurt. Or worse…"
He couldn't bear to complete that sentence. Rin stared into his eyes as he spoke. His eyes were red with deep circles beneath them at the stress and lack of sleep from the nights before. Bai Han sighed heavily and covered his tired eyes.
"I was already burdened with the fact you left to the North Borders without my protection. That alone hurt me enough. But when I was told you fell off the cliff…" His voice shook. He withdrew his hand from his eyes and stared back at her with bloodshot eyes. "I lost everything I ever had."
Hearing him say those words made her feel the weight of it. The guilt in her stomach was heavier than grief, almost heavier than she could bear. Her lips parted to release a word, but nothing came out.
The two could hear the night wind howling outside and scratching at the study window.
"I know my actions in the past have hurt you. Now, my future choices will hurt you even more. But I hope you understand my intentions were and never have been to hurt you."
Bai Han looked at her and let out a dry laugh. "The fact that you know that and continue to do it makes it even crueler."
"I know." Rin strained a smile. "And for that reason, I don't expect you to ever forgive me. You can even disown me if you wish to relieve yourself of the pain of my selfish actions…"
Bai Han's eyes narrowed dangerously thin. It was clear he did not appreciate her words.
Rin smiled and continued. "No matter what I choose to do, I still consider you my family. There will be times I need to make difficult decisions. When those times come, I hope at some point, you will be able to forgive me."
Bai Han froze, but he didn't say anything and turned his eyes away coldly, shifting in his seat. Rin saw his actions but didn't take it personally. She deserved it.
"Rest well, grandfather," Rin walked toward the door and looked at Bai Han one last time.
The old man continued avoiding her gaze. A rueful smile appeared on her face before quickly disappearing. She shut the study door behind her. Alone, Bai Han shifted his eyes to the door, appearing to be in deep thought.
…
Outside, the morning sun was shining through a haze of clouds. A falcon soared above, brown wings spread wide against the sky. Below, six figures gathered at the front of the Bai Manor.
Today was the day of Manchu's departure.
The young man with blue eyes walked toward his horse and turned around to look at the people behind him. His mouth twitched in a suppressed laugh.
"…You all didn't have to wake up to see me off you know."
Standing beside her uncle and Aiguo, Rin looked at Manchu with a faint smile.
"Would you perhaps prefer we ignored you and continued with our morning breakfast?"
Manchu was a little dumbfounded. He helplessly replied, "That would be a little…" Harsh, he thought.
Rin chuckled and looked at him with a sincere expression. "Farewell, Sir Manchu. Be safe."
Manchu smiled with a sigh. "And you, little strategist."
A twitch developed in the corner of Rin's eye. She never understood why he continued to call her by that unusual nickname.
When Manchu's gaze met a pair of gray eyes, he froze for a moment before curving his lips into a crooked smile.
"It's time to say goodbye now, huh?"
An Sun looked at him and chuckled. "Yeah. So it seems."
Manchu smiled. "Right."
The two stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing. But it was the kind of nothing that meant everything. There were no other words needed between the two.
"Get going you idiot." An Sun patted him on the shoulder.
Manchu nodded and turned to his horse. Mounting onto it, he looked down at the group of people below him. They all looked at him with kind expressions. At that moment, something within his chest tightened upon seeing this scene. He cleared his throat.
He glanced at Rin with a signature smile and said, "Oh, that's right. I have been meaning to tell you, little strategist…you look even better as a girl than you did a man."
When Rin heard his words, her eyes widened. She couldn't suppress the corners of her mouth from twitching. Manchu laughed by his own joke and glanced at An Sun one more time before he shifted his horse and urged it forward.
The tall wooden gates to the Bai Manor opened and his figure gradually disappeared down the bustling streets.
As the gates closed, the young man's figure was no longer seen. Everyone stood and stared at the gate in utter silence when a low rumble suddenly sounded into their ears.
"I'm hungry," Aiguo grumbled while rubbing his stomach.
Rin sighed and glanced at her uncle. Deciphering the meaning of her gaze, he nodded his head.
"Let's go eat." General Guo motioned him forward.
Aiguo's eyes lit up, but his brows quickly furrowed. "What about Rin?"
General Guo sighed. "She'll be right behind us."
Opening his mouth to retort, Aiguo closed his mouth when receiving the general's glare. He nodded his head and followed behind him. With just Rin and An Sun left, the two stood silently.
"Sir Manchu's quite a clever man." Rin suddenly said, her hands placed behind her back.
An Sun shot a look in Rin's direction, an eyebrow raised on his face. He could see faint reassurance reflected in her unreadable depths.
Even though his voice was still the same, his tone had become much warmer and gentler. "Yeah, he is."
Rin smiled and turned her gaze to the gates. The moment those doors closed, Manchu had set on his new journey. Unknown to the rest. She was sure An Sun was worried about when he returned to the An Clan. But they both knew Manchu was a capable, sharp character.
He would survive.
Meanwhile, An Sun's eyes continued to stare up at the gates. The moment Manchu turned around and the gates closed, his mind was set. He slowly shut his eyes...When he opened them again, they were back to his usual clear gaze.
"You once said that even if your attempts to succeed your purpose are in vain, you have to try." An Sun said, his voice calm. "I've made my choice."
Rin's slender brows drew together. An Sun focused his gaze on her lovely features. The usual chill in his expression faded and softened as if the spring breeze had pushed it away.
"For me to advance and become my own man, I need to start something by myself with my own strength. I'm going to earn my honor." His eyes were bright and clear and he spoke with grave certainty. "I'm leaving to travel farther north."