Odval grabbed his shirt. "What are you trying to say here?"
He scowled. "She has a connection somehow, with those two. Isn't it weird that they knew our location? That's why--"
"Khenbish!" Qara grabbed his collar. "Don't . . . Do that. This is not the time."
"Come on! You're lying if you think she's not involved with them. Please, Qara, she's the reason Enkhtuya is gone."
Qara darted his eyes at me for a moment. "I . . . I mean she doesn't even know about them. So--"
"She could be lying, pretending. Don't you ever think about that?"
"Khenbish!" called Erhi.
Him, Odval, and Qara then stared at her. "She . . . She even helped us back then. Ava tried so hard to save as many members of Enkhtuya that she could. You didn't see that?"
The trio was silent, and so did everyone there. Tuya and the others had focused their attention toward us, and kept watching.
"Erhi . . ." muttered Khenbish. He looked at her awkwardly.
She took a deep breath and glared at him. "You don't trust Ava because you don't know her. Even though I only spent so little time with her, she's different now. That Ava who attacked our hideout back then is no more. She has a goodwill, Khenbish . . . Surely you've realized that at one point."
Qara and Khenbish looked at each other.
Khenbish sighed and narrowed his eyes at Erhi. "I've never seen you like this, actually." He then looked at me. "I don't know who to trust anymore Ava. So much . . . So much had happened that I even wonder why I'm still sane right now."
I nodded. "It's fine. I don't take to heart what you've said. If I was you, I would say the same as well. I mean, Segma and those people . . ." I paused.
Grief and sadness were apparent on their faces. They lost the people they loved, and I, for one, understood that quite well.
I could give them some breathing space anyway.
"All right." I stood up and flashed a toothy smile at those four people. "I'm going for a walk."
"Eh?" Erhi's eyes widened.
"Um, if this is about what I've said, I'm sorry, Ava." Khenbish then proceeded to bow deeply. "I'm so sorry."
"Ah, no, you don't have to. It's my fault anyway that . . . I didn't protect everyone."
"Ava, it's not your fault," retorted Odval. "We're the ones who're supposed to feel ashamed of ourselves." She hit Qara in the back and he winced.
"Ow! That's--" He looked at me. "What Odval said is true. Enkhtuya is powerless against those people." He smiled. "That's why . . . We're grateful for your help back then Ava." He bowed, followed by Khenbish.
At that time, I felt weirded by those two. My cheeks flushed, as I tried to cover it my hands.
Erhi and Odval giggled at that.
Looking at Tuya and the others, they seemed to have resumed their conversations.
Then, I realized something crucial.
Erhi didn't seem to know what I had in mind when I looked at her. However, Caesar's twitching body made me grinned.
'He must have pretended he's unconscious,' I thought.
Nonetheless, something was off there, at the side of that lake.
I clapped my hands once to get everyone's attention, and they looked at me.
"Where's Hope?" I asked.
"Hope?" repeated Erhi. "Ah, your friend's back."
I looked at the direction she was pointing at, and Hope's figure came into view.
He was carrying a heavy-loaded backpack, as he narrowed his eyes at me. Somehow, Hope looked way different from what he used to. It was not because of his golden eyes, but everything else about him.
His posture, unlike before where he always had his head drooped, unwilling to see anyone that much in the eyes. The Hope in front of me was standing firm, looking onward with his chin tilted upward. He was radiating confidence, unfeared of any obstacles that would stand in his way.
Also, he didn't smile right then. Not even once did he showed the gentle spot of his from way back then.
In just two months, Hope had changed so much.
He halted in front of me and flashed the same warm smile I always knew.
'But that part of him is still the same though. When he's around me, he always shows his smile,' I thought.
Then again, it could be because he still considered me a kid.
"Urgh," I grumbled.
"Ava," said Hope. "Ah, I just got back from the city . . . There's almost nothing left there. But, I did manage to get a bit of supply." He shook his backpack to make his point. "Though, I don't see Freya anywhere back there."
I smiled at him. "Thank you, Hope!"
He laughed. "No probl--"
He fell on his back when I threw myself at him. I wrapped my hands tightly around his waist, unwilling to let him go.
"Ava?" He said.
"Hope . . . Hope." I kept calling his name for some reason. Before I realized it, my eyes were shedding tears.
Then and there, I let out the emotions I'd kept bottled up inside me.
The frustration of my incapability of saving those people in Khovd.
Mixed with the fact that I couldn't do anything against Ivar, and also how powerless I was in his presence. Because of me, Lily and Caesar were hurt.
Hope's departure from way back in Sweden was also my fault. He did it for my sake.
If I didn't exist, then he wouldn't have suffered.
"Hope . . . Hope." I buried my face in his jacket. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's all my fault. They died because of me. I couldn't do anything."
"Ava . . ." He patted my head, and I relished that sensation. "We're all at fault, you see." He then proceeded to look at the others.
"Hope . . . Because of me, you had to go through all that. I . . . I'm selfish. I don't think of anyone else besides you. And if you want to," I darted my eyes to the side, "you can leave me right now. Be free. You don't have to force yourself for my sake. I-I just want you to be happy."
He narrowed his eyes at me. "That's not true Ava. Everything I've done is for our sake. I want a better life for you, and for me. To do that, I did what I had to. In fact," he cupped my face with his hands and touched his forehead against mine, "I'm the one who you're supposed to blame. You know it yourself, that I abandoned you, for seeking such things. I could have decided to be with you instead, but I didn't. Because I was not sure my old self could do what I can do right now."
"Hope . . ." I wiped away my tears when Ulii approached us.
"Ava," she called. "You helped us so much back then. We're grateful for you, and your friends. There's no way any of us could've survived if you're not there."
"But." I paused. "It's my fault they came here in the first place. I--"
"That may be true." Ulii waved her cane in the air. "But you must not forget, that without your help, perhaps we wouldn't be able to get away with it. The People's Light invasion of Mongolia is inevitable Ava."
She bowed at me, and the rest behind her did as well. Tuya didn't, but she flashed a smile in my direction. That alone purged the darkness wrapping my heart.
"We're grateful for your help, Ava. Thank you," they said.
"Um." I fidgeted with my shirt and hid behind Hope when he stood up.
He laughed. "Ava . . . You're so cute this way." He rubbed my head and I couldn't help but blush. My cheeks were red at that time as I hugged Hope.
They all laughed at me. Flustered, I sat next to Hope for the next half an hour.
I felt embarrassed, but at the same time, I was happy.
When I dared to stand up and called everyone, my heart thumped loudly against my chest.
"I . . . I will become stronger. For my sake, and for everyone else. I will become so strong that no one will die anymore!" I said. "I want to create a better life for myself in the future . . . and also for Hope."
He frowned at me, but then smiled. "The only way to achieve all that is by overthrowing the Great Corporate United. And I'm sure everyone here has the same idea as well."
"I want to help all of you . . . So please, let me lend my strength to those who are weak. To everyone."
A few laughed at my declaration, but the others just smiled. Even so, I was glad that I let it out.
"I love all of you! And that will not change," I continued. "But still," I hugged Hope again and squeezed so hard that he grimaced. "I love Hope even more! I will not love anyone more than him!"
Everyone laughed at my statement, and I smiled.
I then looked back at them. "Thank you . . . Thank you for believing in me everyone."