I guess you'll need to know a few things, It all started in the spring of 1915 in a small remote town in Russia. I was six years old and sat with my Mamushka by the small hearth. My brother Bokdan was late coming home and Mamushka was angry, with news of the war Mamushka didn't want brother Bokdan to go and fight on the front. She said that she didn't want brother Bokdan to leave us all alone. So we waited and waited for brother to come home but he never did. I sat there as the fire died out and Mamushka cried, I could not figure out the reason for her tears but that night stayed in my memory as she cradled me in her huge arms and I rested my head on her chest as we waited for brother Bokdan to come home. I remember this moment because it was the last time she embraced me. Mamushka wasn't my real mother but instead had taken me and brother Bokdan in when I was born after our mother and father died in a locomotive accident when I was a baby. There were other children that would circulate Mamushkas warm house but they never stayed long. I eventually fell asleep in Mamushkas arms. The next thing I remember waking up and finding the house empty.
And this is where the story truly begins.
Pulling up my long skirt I trudge through the remaining snow all the way to town. My toes were numb and I couldn't feel my fingers but I kept searching for signs of Mamushka or brother Bokden, but I found non. As I entered the sad excuse of a town I headed straight to the post office that was where all of the soldiers were being enlisted or that's what brother Bokden had said as he talked about fighting in the war. Wading thru the low snow I used both hands to pull the door open and as I struggled with the door I heard sobbing inside, there in a pile on the ground sat Mamushka, tears streaming down her eyes a letter clutched in one hand and Brother Bokdan's cross necklace in her other immediately I ran forward to try and hold Mamushka as she had done for me but her fist collided with my face as I came closer to her.
"Cyka, get away from me. It's your fault that your brother left, he's gone because of you. A selfish little Cyka like you made him leave. He was like my son, who needs a useless daughter like you anyway." Shouted Mamushka, I stumbled back and sat leaned forward bowing before Mamushka all the while tears fell from my eyes as I reached out for her, by now she had stood up and kicked me in the face, blood splattered the post mans desk. Luckily he wasn't here. Dropping Bokdan's cross on my lap she turned and opened the door and before I could move a muscle or say a word she spat out,
"You are not welcome at my home any longer, find somewhere else to steal money and food of of you little Cyka." and then she was gone. My Mamushka had kicked me out and I just sat there curled up in a ball holding the cross in my tiny hands, they squeezed it so hard that blood slipped between my fingers as I prayed and prayed. The old post man came in took one look at me and picked up a blanket and wrapped it around me, and left me where I sat in the corner of the little shop. Apparently the recruitment officer had demanded that my brother join them and they had all left in the evening before, he had only enough time to stop by the post office and write a letter to us and leave the cross for me befor he left. I clutched to that silver cross like it could bring him back. Finally the shop owner kneeled down next to me and gently shook me out of my daze.
"Little one it is time to go. " I lifted my head, yes I needed to go to my brother. Standing up I try to hand the blanket back to the old man but he simply sticks his hand up and wrapps it tighter around my body and places a chunk of dried meat in my hand before pushing me out the door. He closes it without a second glance at me. Instead of turning and walking towards Mamushkas little house I turn and walk towards the rail roads that lie to the west.
I walk and walk until the sun sets and then I keep walking, eventually I come to the tracks and I start walking up and down them near the platform to keep warm. It is not as cold now as it is during the winter but it is still unpleasant. I walk until my frail little legs give out beneath me and I sit there and wait. I can feel the cold creeping into my bones as I sit in the snow and wait for the Train L.
Finally an hour after dawn I hear the sound of the rail cars swishing through the snow. Turning I wait till I can see the shining metal machine and stand up. I'm waiting as the massive thing comes to a stop and a few men get off, there dressed in the standard military uniform long black jackets with hats to protect their ears. Walking up to a harsh looking man who barely looked over eighteen summers and hade long dark hair with a stern expression on his face. Reaching up with all my courage I grab his sleeve and pull, once, twice, three times and the man looks down a bit annoyed. In a deep voice that reminded me of the bears that got into our food stores last winter when they roared at mamushka as she tried to shoot them.
"What do you want Zajka." I widen my eyes
"My name is not Zajka its Mariana." The big man laughs and says in a his rumbling voice,
"Your name might be Mariana but you look like a little rabbit to me so i'll call you Zajka. Now do you need something little Zajka because i'm really busy." I nod my little head as I hold out my brothers cross, it seems to glow in the early morning light and is big enough that it rests across both of my palms.
"Mr. i'm looking for my brother Bokden. Have you seen him? He wouldn't even reach your shoulder Mr. and he has scruffy brown hair and has a big goofy grin that made Mamushka laugh a lot." The big soldier looked down sadly at me and said
"I'm sorry Zajka I haven't seen your brother. My name is Vladimir but everyone calls me Vlad."