What to do? Do I tell them I can't remember the plan? Would that impact my dignity as the Eldest? Maybe I'll just play along and hope for the best. What's the worst that could go wrong?
"Do we all understand?"
"Of course."
"No problem."
"Simple."
….
"It's straightforward, I like it," I declare with every scrap of confidence I can muster. "I'll leave it to you to coordinate with the generals at the front."
"I understand."
Solant is all business, solemn and serious as she goes about plying her particular trade. When we arrive, she goes straight to the generals and begins an in-depth conversation about what she wants to do that I immediately lose track of, but they seem to follow okay.
Following that, she moves around the resting troops, ensuring they understand what to do, drawing little diagrams and even running a few drills until she's happy that they'll move the way she wants them to.
The entire time, all I hear in my mind is static. This is a problem.
Before I can work out what on Pangera I'm going to do, I run out of time. Standing on the front line as the soldiers, scouts, mages and healers ahead of me prepare to fall back, I still have absolutely no idea what I'm meant to be doing….
This could go poorly. My dignity!
"Eldest, if you'll lead the way," Solant says.
"O-of course!"
What does that mean? Lead the way literally, as in, move forward at the head of the troops? Or do we start with an acid barrage? She talked about acid, I'm sure of it…. Or magic? Was I supposed to deploy my domain, or a gravity well? I DON'T KNOW!
Tentatively, I take a few steps forward, and when nobody corrects me I take a few more. The troops behind me begin to shuffle forward and I gain a little confidence.
I creep forward a bit more. They creep along behind me.
Alright. Good so far. But now I'm worried that I'm moving too slowly, or is it too quickly? Do I stop now?
Paralyzed with indecision, I just keep scuttling forward until the ants fighting ahead of me turn and retreat, rushing past me in a blur as the ravenous monsters behind them chase close behind.
NOW WHAT?
Do I strike?
My mandibles flex, ready to unleash a powerful chomp, but I hesitate. Would that ruin the plan? I don't want to unravel the strategy! The whole point of this exercise is to train Solant and let her practise her ideas….
Alright, I won't bite. Maybe I should unleash some gravity magic, slow the enemy down for the rest of the ants to deal with? That's helpful, right?!
But what if they're counting on me not doing that? DAMMIT! This is giving me a headache. The monsters are almost on top of me now… what am I supposed to do?!
Too hesitant to make a move, I do the only thing I can think of: I tuck my legs under my body, bury my head in the rock and accept my fate. If I can't decide what I should do, then I shall do nothing! Clearly, this is the best course of action!
Instantly, the monsters begin to batter at my carapace. Claws scratch, teeth scrape, blows rain down on me ceaselessly. Protected by my absurdly tough, compressed diamond carapace, reinforced by the plating beneath and constantly regenerating, I take very little damage.
As the seconds tick by and my health slowly trickles down, I feel a little more calm knowing that I won't get instantly annihilated at least. I can feel the ants engaging the enemy around me, acid fills the air, a non-trivial amount of it landing on me, but I can't really blame them for that, given my size.
If any ant has acid tough enough to eat through my carapace, I'd love to meet them. In fact, it's possible a nice acid wash will give my exterior an even more impressive shine.
Still, the gnawing feeling that I'm doing something wrong continues to eat away at me, and every second, I question whether or not I should stick my head out and do something.
OOF!
I feel like a mountain just collapsed on me. What the heck? Judging by the mana I can feel, an earth elemental just clobbered me with one of its boulders, hard enough to create some cracking in my shell. Lousy sentient collection of rocks!
I trigger my healing gland immediately, rapidly repairing the damage. This close to so many ants, the energy flowing through the Vestibule will refill the healing gland in a minute. Realistically, I could sit here all day and probably survive just fine, provided nothing too strong found its way up the tunnels.
I can't help but feel like I've failed in this instance. I should have just confessed I didn't understand the plan, not allowed my stupid pride to shut my pheromone gland and prevent me from speaking out. Is it really so shameful if I need a barely hatched ant to walk me step by step through what they need me to do?
… YES! Yes it is!
Miserable, I park myself like a turtle in its shell and let the enemy pound on my carapace for almost half an hour, triggering my healing gland whenever necessary to mend the damage the constant barrage causes. Finally, the call blessedly comes.
"Retreat!"
Someone else's turn to step up to the front. Thank goodness. I push myself off the ground and vent my rage at the monsters in front of me with an empowered void chomp, shattering everything within range before I turn and trundle back behind the defensive line with the rest of the troops.
I'm embarrassed, frankly. Deeply embarrassed, but there's only one thing to do. I need to ant up and face the music. If the Eldest can't apologise for making a mistake, then what sort of message does that send to the rest of the Colony? That I'm above them? That's nonsense! Just about every ant in the family is more capable than me!
I walk up to Solant and her group as they debrief each other, discussing the battle in detail.
"Look… Solant. I'm s–"
"Ah. Well done, Eldest. I wasn't sure if you'd be willing to take such an undignified role in the plan, but your dedication and humility is an inspiration to the Colony. Drawn in by your core and highly mutated Biomass, the enemy was blinded to everything else. The strategy worked flawlessly thanks to your selflessness."
"...ssssuper happy to help out. You can rely on me anytime!"