The delivery man soon arrived, to my surprise with a giant feat of an order. "Didn't you order a bit much? I asked her as we took in the food leaving it on the kitchen counter.
"No.... we having a late lunch now and dinner after." she said with a smile.
"Hmm I guess your right." I answered her.
"So what we eating now?" I asked her.
"Burger and chips." she replied searching through the bags looking for the meal while i went to grab plates and cutlery 'although I can cook all different types of cuisines, I still loved the simplicity of fried chicken and burgers'.
Eventually finding our meals we returned to the sofa, eating and watching a comedy movie in the attempt to help cheer me up.
Hours passed as we watched two movies back to back. Greedily scoffing down unhealthy greasy fast food. After the 2nd movie ended, I turned on the TV to a random channel.
"So Paul, what are you gonna do now?" she asked me curiously.
"No idea, but a big part of me wants to see her one last time... maybe get things of my chest before you know she goes away...." I answered her hesitantly.
"Yeah I understand.... but aren't you worried that her friends and family will all be there?....." she said warning me.
"I really need to thank her for making me who I am today." I tried to explain to her.
"Yeah but..... they reported you to the police, they probably have a big problem with you." she said explain the situation.
"I understand, but it's something I need to do before it's too late." I explained to her.
"Just make sure you you stay safe if you decide to okay?" she requested me looking extremely worried.
A few minutes of silence followed. "So how about you? how's your love life going?" I asked her breaking the silence.
"You know me..... Career first and for some reason all the Muslim men I meet are all just waste men." she said cursing them.
I laughed a little, how a hotshot partnered lawyer still uses East London slang words always makes me chuckle.
"It's not even funny, like one time this dude, even when driving arrives 1 hour late, we had a nice meal but the conversation was SUCH A BORE. All he talked about his job and how important he is to the company and how he was such a big shot, BUT GET THIS! he was just a entry level admin!" She said describing her date.
I chuckled listening to her story and her misfortunes, every now and then when we get together she would tell me horrible dates she has been on.
"Ohh god... and like he wouldn't stop complaining about the price of the menu....." I laughed a little at her story..."nah nah nah get this!!!! HE WAS THE ONE THAT PICKED THE RESTAURANT!" she said yelling at me.
"Yeah.... I'm not gonna lie... that date sounded horrible, I'm so sorry for laughing." I said still chuckling.
"I know right...." she said to me swiveling her head side to side in disappointment.
"Wow I thought I would be horrible at dates because of how socially inept I am." I said laughing.
"Trust me your date sounds like a DREAM COMPARED TO MINE!... " she yelled at me sighing, jsut thinking about her dates made her facepalm herself.
"I always thought you guys were so lucky having your parents set you up with potential matches." I added.
"I swear its worse, when they introduce a wasteman to me and I cant just reject him because hes a family friend or something..... Trust me it isn't better." She said informing me.
"So this Jade girl, it sounds pretty promising. So when is your 2nd date and what you got planned?" She asked extremely curious switching the conversation to me.
"I dunno the Emilia news really got me thinking, and I need to somehow find out how I can see her one last time before she gets buried." I replied.
"To put your mind at ease, I'll deal with the Police you met this morning for you." She said with a smile.
"Thank's" I said.
"No problems." she replied.
"It's getting late so I'm gonna go home, you gonna be okay alone?" She asked me slightly worried.
"Yeah I'll be alright." I said faking a smile.
We stood up heading to the door, picking up her coat in the process handing it to her. "Okay well if anything else happens or you need anything please let me know." She said hugging me good bye.
"Okay I will. Take care have a safe drive." I bid her farewell.
"Bye" she said waving goodbye exiting the apartment.
The moment the door closed, my apartment was filled with silence. Normally I'd be okay being alone, but this time around I felt extremely lonely as if a part of me was gone forever. I stupidly began imagining life with Emilia, how things would have been if I didn't mess thing up so many years ago.
Walking into the kitchen pulling out a wide and shallow glass cup, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the cupboard, and a large ice cube dropping it into the glass cup. I made my way to the living room.
Pouring out some whiskey I took a sip, the whiskey burning my mouth and throat on the way down, 'Why the fk do I drink this???' checking my phone to see a message from Jade. Opening it up, "Hi hope you're okay.... I didn't know what to do with your spare key so I kept it with me and I also borrowed some money which I need to pay you back next time, looking forward to hear from you", the message read with a few smiley emoji at the end.
"Hi I would love to see you again!, but I'm gonna be busy till next week, would it be okay to schedule our 2nd date next week? ending the message with a smiley emoji, P.S. Sorry for the late message" I wrote replying to her.
There was also a message from Jay, but I didn't want to burden him with Emilia problems again. My fingers began to search through my phone, with a mind of its own, navigating it way to my stored pictures, ending on a folder I haven't opened for many years.
My thumb instinctively opened the folder, the photos of us appearing on my screen reminding me how beautiful her smile was, how just her smile was enough to take all the pain away. I began remembering everything that I missed about her, her hugs, her voice, her funny opinions..... the cascading memories causing my eyes to welling up with tears, feeling them run down my cheek slowly. Closing my phone dropping it on the table, leaning back trying to stop the crying. My mind endlessly cycling through the great memories we had together.
Taking my Whiskey bottle and glass drinking it while making my way to the bedroom, leaving it on my table I made my way to the En suite shower. I began taking a shower to clean myself up and try to calm myself down a little.
I slumped down sitting in the shower, the water beating over me, my futile attempt to control myself having no effect in stopping my sadness. Turning off the shower walking out soaking wet i began drinking straight form the bottle.
I could feel my senses dulling, the alcohol in my system forcing my brain to stop processing thoughts and emotions saving me from myself. Slumping in a seated position on a nearby wall, forcing the whiskey down my body. The haunting images of her beautiful face fading to black.