"Master alchemist I…"
"Shut up! Come with me!"
A powerful force jerks my entire body sideways and, in a blink, I'm standing in a luxurious room with a large square table, satin-pillow-topped chairs, plush couches, silk curtains, and a cheery fireplace. Landscape paintings and hunting trophies cover the walls. Knickknacks pack every corner. Notably, I cannot find a door.
"Ugg! You are dirty and smelly take a bath." The same voice in the sky of the test area comes out of the ceiling in this room.
"I beg your pardon?"
"..." Yep, no response again. It's the same guy.
"Where is the bath?"
"Behind you, sir." A small squeaky voice appears behind my back.
I turn to find a gray stone penguin statue standing on the armchair. It's a third of a person tall with one flipper outstretched and flat. Wasn't this chair empty when I arrived?
"Umm…"
"Place money in its hand and pat it on the head to confirm. Duh..." The alchemist's irritated voice is back.
"…" He expects me to pay? "Why don't you give me a freebie, since you are the one demanding I bathe?"
"Tch, so cheap how can you gain anything without paying? Well, if you want to bathe for free I can throw you into the void. Let's see if you can create a bath from nothing."
"Ah, no thanks… I'd pay but I don't even have..." I touch my bags as I speak. "What?" The bags are bulging with items once more.
I rummage through my bag. Everything is back except Nia's jade phoenix statue.
"Where is my jade phoenix?"
"Take a bath first then we will talk."
"… Fine!" This entity is too mysterious and powerful… If it wants to steal from me, I can't stop it.
I slip out a copper coin and slap it down onto the penguin's outstretched stone flipper.
A small voice comes from the stone penguin statue, "Esteemed customer we don't take copper."
I frown head bent down as I tower over the statue. It doesn't move or reply— my intimidation fails, and I am the first to break off my stare... "Humph! Such an expensive bath."
Clink! From the fat man's coin purse, I slap a silver coin down.
The high-pitched voice from the stone penguin statue appears again. "Esteemed customer we do take silver, but this amount is insufficient for even our basic bath."
"What? This is daylight robbery!" I glare at the statue.
"Fine!"
Clink! I slap a gold coin on top of the silver coin. The flipper doesn't budge.
"Customer, we need a bit more…"
Clink! Clink! Clink! I slap consecutive gold coins down on top of each other until finally...
"Customer, this is enough for the basic bath, but more advanced baths are available."
"Who would pay more for a mere bath?" I roll my eyes and slap my hand onto the penguin's rocky, unmoving head.
An invisible force pulls my body forward. My mind expects my body to crash into the penguin statue, but instead, in a blink, I stand before an onsen. (1)
Steam rises from a vacant pool of water walled in with stacked stone. A well-pruned juniper tree stands on the opposite side of the pool before a bamboo slatted fence. Rake lines on white sand loop around several large black rocks in the nearby sand garden forming an aesthetically pleasing pattern with the dark-green hedges. The air here, under a blue sky, is as fresh as a mountain breeze.
Wow! It's been a long time since I've had the pleasure of this type of open-air bath. This style of hot spring is unique to the villages of the Altras Mountains.
I dip my foot in. A tingling, warm sensation covers my toes and climbs my ankle. If I'm not wrong, the bathwater has healing properties.
"Hmph! It should be at least this much with how expensive it is." Despite what I say, a handful of gold coins for a bath with strong healing properties is a bargain. I'm just too unhappy with the alchemist's ghost forcing me here to admit it. Isn't he dead? Why does he care about the smell?
My head turns in all directions as I ensure no one is around. I strip and enter the bath. The healing properties soak into my skin. Using this bath instead of wasting my remaining potions is beneficial.
As the warmth relaxes my body, my mind calms down. This isn't how I imagined the alchemist's trials going...
What could the more expensive baths be like? I should have paid more... I must admit, the power the alchemist must have had is sobering. Imagine if I could inherit all of this! Would I be able to force people to bathe at will? Wait, no. I mean, couldn't I banish my enemies to the void and teleport at will?
My imagination runs wild and I'm chuckling to myself when a small voice calls out from behind me.
"Sir, your towel—"
"Egad!" I'm startled into a defensive standing position flinging my hands into the air as water flies everywhere.
"—please, use it at your convenience." The voice comes from a motionless penguin statue. A towel rests draped on it's one outstretched flipper.
"Do you make a habit of sneaking up on all your guests? No… how do you even move?" My eyes scan the statue for moveable joints— none a present.
"My apologies, Sir. I did not intend to startle you." Although the sound emanates from the penguin statue, it's stone beak remains closed and motionless.
My face heats up, and my right-hand snatches the towel while my left shields the area between my legs.
"Well, I never." I wrap the towel around my waist. It's long enough for me to dry myself while also covering my important places.
"…" I fumble around with the towel keeping a serious expression. Secretly, I'm delighted by the new skin revealed as the burnt dead skin and scabs peel off my feet and hands.
The penguin interrupts the few dozen breaths of awkward silence, "Master has asked for you to speed things up, sir."
Now he's demanding I hurry… Who does he think he is? Oh wait, he's… Well, never mind, I better comply. If he is pleased with me wouldn't I receive a better inheritance?
The moment my hand reaches my old clothes on the ground the sensation of a sudden force hits my body. In a blink, my surroundings are once again the plush room with no doors.
A giant oak wardrobe rests in the center of the room facing me. Its doors are open revealing the bright fabric within. There are no penguin statues for guidance, but the message is clear, and my towel is gone. I rummage through the robes hanging on wooden hangers.
"Mm." My lips curl into a smile and my eyes narrow as I sigh in delight.
The robes' high-thread-count silk flows across my hands with a smooth cool sensation. It's quite the contrast to my ruff beggars' clothes and twine sewn leaves.
I unhook a light-blue dyed robe with white cloud patterns and hold it up before the mirror on the open wardrobe's door.
It looks like a comfortable fit... Better put it on at once. Who knows who could appear behind me from nowhere?
When it's on, some beast-hide sandals catch my eye— a perfect fit. As my body straightens up after fastening the sandals, something hard bumps against my chest. Within my robes, a small pocket is sown. Inside, a small loop of cold metal greets my hand. Its touch evokes the tingling sensation of Qi flowing on my fingers. It's a dark metal ring with a red gem! But, the pattern of the Qi circuits shows it's not just any ring, it's a storage ring.
I do what any sensible human would do in this situation and begin searching the remaining robes for more rings.
"Sir…"
"Egad!" I flinch with guilt and knock a few robes off their hangers. My slow turn reveals the stone penguin statue standing on the armchair again.
Why does it always appear when I least expect it?
"Sir, I must remind you that every item has a price. If you wish to take more, you will lose items from your inheritance."
"Err, so… What was the price of what I've already taken?"
"Customer, your mentor has paid for one set of clothes for you including undergarments which you have yet to take… Do you by chance have a no-underwear fetish? Do you wish to waive your right to these items?"
"No" I snatch the undergarments and—
"[Brother! You're back!]"
My surroundings have turned completely white. Bright lights shine at me from all directions. My outstretched arms hold my swaying undergarments. On the white paneled floor nearby lies the tattered remains of my old beggar-like clothes.
Nia's spirit jumps toward me with her arms spread. I brace myself for impact while trying to put the unmentionables out of sight, but when she lands on me hugging my stomach there is no impact force. I'd forgotten she was incorporeal for a moment.
"Nia it's good to see you again." I pat at her intangible form after awkwardly shuffling the garments behind my back to one hand.
[He-he.]
"Oh, so you can see and hear her?" The alchemist's bored voice echoes out from behind the bright lights. "That makes my proposal a bit awkward…"
"Huh?" He can see her too? I suppose it makes sense that a ghost can sense a fellow ghost.
"I was going to offer to buy her. But let's see… Little Nia, would you like to stay with me? I can help you gain a new physical form."
The little girl shakes her head. "[Nia is not an item. Nia is not for sale!]"
"Of course, of course! I was only going to use that question to test the young man." The alchemist's voice increases in pitch and speed. A hint of worry appears behind his words.
"[Nia doesn't like people who play tricks on others. Nia wants to stay with brother.]" She waggles her head into my stomach.
A smile forms on my face. It's nice to see the alchemist's ghost, who almost starved me to death, falling into a disadvantage.
"But he's not really your brother! He can't help you realize your full potential as I can."
Nia stops hugging me and drifts a step backward a small frown forming on her always cheerful face.
I taunt the alchemist's ghost, "Looks like she wants to stay with me, her brother. You should stop making her sad." I pat at her head as best as one can pat something incorporeal.
"Nia, why would you want to stay with this pervert? Look at him holding his undergarments outside his robes. Look at those smelly rags he was walking around with on the floor. Wouldn't you rather have a reliable, clean, rich father who can guide you on the right path?"
I would protest to his comments about my character, but for some reason, something else bothers me more. "Eh? Your suddenly her father now? You can't be serious. What right do you have to call her your daughter? You're only the ghost of an alchemist."
"Ha-ha! Kid, you've no idea who you're dealing with. Let's get this straight first. I'm no ghost, nor am I that alchemist."
"What?" If he's not the alchemist's ghost… was the conclusion of my research incorrect? No. Wasn't he judging my alchemy earlier?
The unknown voice interrupts my thoughts. "Let's let Nia decide. Will she come with me and reach her full potential, or will she waste her time with a pervert who goes around without underwear like you."
"You! I'm only like this because you teleport me before I'm ready."
A snort echoes out from behind the light. "I don't see you storing them away in that storage ring I gave you."
As we argue, Nia balls her body up by clapping her hands together in front of her chest and tucking her elbows into her waist while lowering her head.
"[Stop fighting! Nia hates fighting the most!]" As she yells, she bobs up and down while swinging her arms out in exasperation.
"Sorry, Nia," We say in unison.
"Why don't you tell us your choice then?" asks the voice beyond the light.
…
(1) An onsen is normally a Japanese style open-air hot spring bath with bathing facilities and an inn, but the people of the Altras Mountains have developed a remarkably similar style of hot spring. Therefore, I choose to call it an onsen.
...