"Alright, I've had enough. I'm going to head back." Jack waved to whatever was on that side of the hill and turned back to where he came. While he didn't have to turn his back to return to his body, he just didn't want to face those two.
ˣˣShy... Isn't he?ˣˣ
ˣˣOle Jack is a character, honey. A real piece of work. Should have seen him the second time.ˣˣ
ˣˣYou know how I don't like to get into your work. It's just so boring!ˣˣ
Pa-Pa-Pa
ˣˣYeah, but you come crawling for this!ˣˣ
ˣˣUh huh, and if it wasn't you, then it'd be Hastur.ˣˣ
ˣˣYou get off on pissing me off with his name, huh?ˣˣ
ˣˣYou just found that out since creation?ˣˣ
That demonically musical giggle rank out, causing Jack to take a step backward toward that sound before he steeled himself.
"Yeah, I don't need to hear any more of this." Jack took a step away.
ˣˣI'm a bit busy, but this is actually what I do to unwind. Come over here and greet my wife.ˣˣ
"Yoggi, I don't really want to see you and your wife going at it. You can just like... Stop making this super awkward."
ˣˣAre you kidding! My beloved just tightened on seven of her genitals. This kind of pleasure I don't get often, So the longer you stay the better it gets for me.ˣˣ
Jack paused, as he looked up into the macro cosmos sky, [Can I use this?]
Pa-Pa-Pa!
[Maybe I can get more information or something more for this] Jack thought, as he looked down to the soul of Neith in his right hand.
Pa-Pa-Pa!
"Haaa~"
ˣˣSo he does sigh, as an undead! How unusual!ˣˣ
ˣˣI told you. He wasn't always undead.ˣˣ
ˣˣResurrected?ˣˣ
ˣˣWhat hasn't happened to him, actually?ˣˣ
Pa-Pa-Pa!
"Yoggi, I have the soul of Neith, the Spider Goddess of Neolith here. Are you interested in it?"
ˣˣThat bitch finally gave up her soul. Well, done. I'm just going to clap to thatˣˣ
PA-PA-PA!
ˣˣOh~ˣˣ
[...]
PA-PA-PA!
ˣˣOH~! Clap more!ˣˣ
"Yeah, no... Are you willing to trade?"
Yoggi's voice changed from his usual jovial self to a menacing sound.
ˣˣWhat is it that you want? You already got a 'Get out of Jail Free' pass from me. What more could you want? A single gods soul isn't going to be worth an entire world, let me remind you.ˣˣ
ˣˣYou know what I want, do you?ˣˣ
ˣˣKinda don't really want to think about what's in your head while I make love to my wife... I mean you're fun to mess with, but I'm not-ˣˣ
"Yoggi, you know what the fuck I meant!"
Pa-Pa-Pa!
ˣˣBy the way, when did you start being called Yoggi?ˣˣ
ˣˣHe came up with it.ˣˣ Yoggi spoke in a soft voice before it retained it's menace again, ˣˣSeriously. You want to take my job!?ˣˣ
"No, I want to wipe the memory of the souls of my enemies and make them into working machines."
ˣˣSo, you want to be what you're old world called Kind Yama. Passing Judgement on their souls, and then damning them, huh?ˣˣ
Pa-Pa-Paaa!
"Sure, whatever."
ˣˣWhatelse do you want that you think you can extort out of me.ˣˣ
"Thought you weren't listening in"
ˣˣThought you didn't buy into that.ˣˣ
Pa-Pa-Pa!
"Haaa~ You're not going to stop that and have a normal conversation, are you?"
ˣˣNormal... Here? Us?ˣˣ
ˣˣHe said normal, dear, maybe for both of us this could be considered normal, right?ˣˣ
ˣˣJack, I'm going to have to think that one over. Normal, but still you never actually thought of what else you might wantˣˣ
"Is there like a book or tome on how to be a god?"
ˣˣWhat, you want a brochure?ˣˣ
"Honestly, it would be better than grasping in the dark"
ˣˣHey, honey... The little God of Light is grasping in the dark.ˣˣ
ˣˣOh, that's funny, OH~! I liked that angle, do that again.ˣˣ
Pa-Pa-Pa!
"So yeah, is there something?"
ˣˣJack... I don't have to, but as a friend to another, as I don't have many... My books and tomes are not for mortal minds. Even a mortal mind that has ascended to Godhood can't read my stuff without becoming mad.ˣˣ
"Aren't I already mad? My second wife calls me the mad king." Jack chuckled.
ˣˣI don't think you understand madness. It will change you, in subtle ways, and in fact, you may not even detect it. My tomes and books have a type of life of their own. The more you understand the writings, the more they understand you. The contents of the books change based on what you want to know, but also what it wants you to know. It can guide you in ways no mortal or god could, but it can also damn you in ways that even I would have to pause to think what they might be.ˣˣ
ˣˣHoney, I don't mind you talking to the shy guy, but you've stopped.ˣˣ
ˣˣOh.ˣˣ
PA-PA-PA~!
"I can play with madness." Jack laughed with oddness.
ˣˣAs they say, don't say I didn't warn you, and on a different note, say hi to my wife. This is Shub-Niggurath, my naughty black goat of love.ˣˣ
ˣˣHey, Jackie... I can call you Jackie, okkey~!ˣˣ
"Y-yeah." [Why the hell is my voice changing like I'm in puberty?]
ˣˣBecause she's the incarnate of sexual desire, lust, birth, and anything you basically want to stick a part of yourself into, peen or soulˣˣ
"But doesn't she look like-"
ˣˣYou want to finish that, Jackie dear?ˣˣ
"No, ma'am." Jack stiffened at the tone change of Shub.
"Ma'am, if you don't mind, I'll just call you Shub for short."
ˣˣI don't mind. Oh, Honey, did you tell Jackie the present you sent?ˣˣ
"What present?"
ˣˣIt was supposed to be a surprise.ˣˣ
ˣˣHaha, sorry for spoiling it!ˣˣ
PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA!
ˣˣYou only did that to piss me off, I know you love it rough!ˣˣ
ˣˣI do.ˣˣ
"What present, guys?!"
ˣˣIt's going to be a surprise. Now leave the soul of Neith at your feet, and go back. I'll send what you want in a bit, my dearest needs to give birth any way.ˣˣ
"Wait, shub's pregnant?"
ˣˣJackie, when am I not with child, with this monster you call Yoggi filling every hole I've ever spawned!ˣˣ
"You know what. I'm out!" Jack cried out, and dropped the sphere at his feet, while he muttered the eldritch void magic to return to his body.
As his soul was pulled from the place between worlds, the last thing Jack heard was the popping sounds of various pieces of flesh slapping.
*******
Jack's flaming eyes ignited while his destroyed library came into view.
"Haaaa~"
"Welcome back, Creator." Tux sounded from the side where it still laid on the tables pushed to the side."
"Thank you."
As Jack was about to ask Tux something else, a hole tore in the space within Jack's Library. From the strangely colored mist it produced, came flopping out a Tome.
Jack looked to the tome on the floor, as the hole closed quickly as it opened...
"Yup. That's the most evil-looking book/tome/thingie I've ever seen in all my lives."