Chereads / Arcanum / Chapter 171 - Feeling Guilty

Chapter 171 - Feeling Guilty

"Hey guys, I gotta go." I said to every feeling the need to see Paul.

"Emilia? What's wrong?" They questioned.

"I need to see Paul.." I said urgently.

"I'll come with you.." Daisy offered but was stopped by Grace.

"Ummm okay." They all answered letting me go.

"Paul, can I see you?" I asked talking into my badge.

"Everything okay?" He asked sounding worried.

"I just need to see you," I asked him.

"Sure, where are you?" He asked.

"Can you meet me outside the simulation room?" I asked him.

"Sure I'll be there soon." He answered me sounding concerned at my sudden need to see him.

Quickly making my way out the building busting through the doors he was strolling towards wracked with worry. "Emilia? What's wrong?" He asked as he neared.

"I'm so sorry!" I apologised for the feeling of guilt overwhelming my whole body.

"Hey Hey Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asked sounding really worried for me.

"I saw what you did yesterday.. How you almost died three times" I cried into his lap.

"Hey... calm down.... you have a bad knee remember? You shouldn't be on the ground like that," he said trying to lift me up.

"I'm so stupid.. It's all because of me that you almost died!" I cried uncontrollably.

"Hey calm down.. I'm still here aren't I?" He asked rhetorically.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.. Especially if it was because of me." I cried pouring out everything to him.

"I know.. I know." He patted my head. "Come we'll sit on a bench and we can talk okay?" He requested trying to get me off my knees. "Come there's literally one there." He said pointing at a bench a few steps away.

"Okay" I nodded lifting my head.

"There's no need to cry.." He said wiping my tears with his sleeve and led me to the benches.

"Here," he said taking out soft drink and handing it to me

"Thanks." I thanked him.

"So you saw what I did yesterday??.." he questioned.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry Paul." I apologised again.

"You know you don't need to apologise to me." He smiled.

"How can you be okay with almost dying!!" I asked.

"You know when we broke up, I was in a dark place for a long time, years I spent adrift blaming that on a person for running my whole life, but what I actually needed was closure." He smiled, "I think I've found my purpose in life." He smiled looking happy as ever.

"Helping other people?" I questioned.

"Yes.. Like a superhero helping those less fortunate." he answered, "But you need to be more careful Emilia.. I wish I could watch over you but you, I can't always be there when you need me. This isn't London anymore where you can just call me or something and ill drop everything to get to you." He tried to explain but sounded very sad.

"I know.." I confessed to him, "But I didn't want the refugees to be left behind because of the system." I tried to explain to him.

"It's great that you want to help those who are too weak and can't but you need to understand.. You can't save everyone. Even with my intervention we still had two losses and that's not including the refugees that didn't make it." He carried on explaining.

"I saw what happened with that solider," I confessed to him making him let out a big sigh.

"You saw that huh?" He questioned extremely saddened.

"Yeah I did.." I answered him and went to hold his hand interlocking our fingers.

"I really had no other choice... I needed to let the High Admirals know to assemble their fleet into formation and have their weaponry on standby, normally I would go myself but I needed to hold the shield up." He explained.

"I know, if you ever need to talk, I'll be here for you," I said to him holding his hand tightly to comfort him. "Paul.. Why did you stay here?" I asked him.

"..There wasn't much back at home for me.." He answered.

"Wait what? What happened?" I asked in shock hearing him answer that way.

"After I discovered and dealt with the person who murdered my mum. I came home to find out my father wasn't doing too well either." He confessed.

"I never knew. I'm so sorry!" I said to him feeling sorry for him and the way I treated him.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, we weren't together or friends at the time so don't feel bad." He replied to me making me feel even sadder.

"I decided to stay here because there wasn't anything left for me, both my parents passed away, you were no longer part of my life and I just needed to get away." He confessed looking extremely depressed.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." I apologised wholeheartedly to him.

"..It's okay, I hurt you so badly when we broke up. I remember the hate and anger you had for me, I had no right to ask you for support." He answered looking down in guilt and shame.

"What no no, I wasn't angry.." I tried to comfort him.

"It took me many years to understand that Paul and Emilia wasn't a thing anymore.. So you have nothing to be sorry about." He replied.

"You know if you reached out I would have replied." I tried to explain.

"I know I know but I had no right to." He repeated himself making us both sit in silence for a few minutes.

"Ashley said there's a small group of students that seem to be planning something against Atlantis." I notified Paul.

"Yeah he thinks the string of things that happened wasn't a coincidence," Paul answered.

"You think they aren't?" I asked curiously.

"Well, the lady that attacked you and her group were weirdly intangible and faded into black particles when killed. I have been trying to search for information on them with no avail, even studies of certain religions came to nothing." He answered.

"Do you think they would attack me again?" I asked in worry.

"Maybe.. Maybe not sadly we couldn't capture any for interrogation." He answered.

"What if she attacks when you're not here?" I asked feeling a little afraid.

"All the prefects and teacher have been notified on how to deal with her." Paul answered.

"She was only intangible but Scarlets Sword worked." I reminded him.

"Yes but we believe that she can only be in a state of intangible or tangible.. So the key to defeating her to put her in a position where she can't be tangible." He explained.

"Ohh that's a relief..." I replied understanding her weakness.

"The only problem is that she is 'really' fast.. For us S-Ranked students she would be easy to follow and fight against, but Prefects would only be able to keep up with her for two or three minutes if they even could." Paul notified me making me feel a little scared again.

"There's nothing to worry about though.. The fact I've haven't heard that she's resurfaced or anything means she's most likely disappeared." Paul answered.

"We also saw that you engaged with a slave trader. That can't be true right?" I asked him hoping to hear the truth form his mouth.

"Wow didn't know you was such a fan.. Maybe I should keep my logs private.." He chuckled seemingly cheering up a little.

"They aren't normally?" I asked in shock.

"It's actually mostly private unless its public events.. But most things are open for you to see." He answered.

"Me really? Why?" I asked surprised.

"Just me being silly if you ever wondered what I was doing or just wanted to see what I was up to. You can then always see what happened." He answered making me chuckle a little.

"I remember you were always open with such things, giving me your phone passcode and stuff even though I never used it or even snooped." I smiled remembering how open and honest he was.

"So about the Slave trader, I needed his help as a contingency," Paul answered.

"Contingency? What sort of contingency requires the need of a slave trader?" I asked a little confused.

"Yes.. If I ever needed to get someone out of Aspa he would be my go-to contact." Paul answered.

"But he's a slave trade.." I objected his connection with someone like that.

"Anna assured me he's more of a Headhunter then a Slave trader. Besides it's the ability for slave traders to get past checkpoints and guards is why I specifically needed him." Paul answered.

"I see.. Paul? Have you heard of someone called Gilgamesh?" I asked him curiously.

"God touched Gilgamesh?" He asked in return.

"Yeah him," I replied.

"What about him?" He asked me.

"How strong is he, is he really a Demi-God?" I asked.

"Well, I've conversed with him a couple of times... He tells me he's actually two-thirds divine and one-third human." Paul laughed.

"How strong is he compared to you?" I asked him feeling curious.

"He's two-thirds God.. And I'm 0% Divine who do you think is stronger?" He chuckled at my question.

"Ohh.." I replied realising how silly my question was.

"I'm pretty sure he could kill me with a click of a finger. Did you think I was the strongest person alive?" He chuckled at my question.

"Well the way everyone goes on about you and the way you talk about yourself, makes you sound unbeatable," I explained to him.

"That's because no one has ever seen Gilgamesh fight or even take a fight seriously.. And that's not inducing the Chosen Champion of Thirteen God's and the blessings that come along with that." Paul added.

"So have you met King Arthurs, Daughter?" I asked him for clarification.

"Ohh yeah I've had a sit down with her, the whole King Arthur story was pretty cool." Paul smiled.

"Really Paul you met a real Legend and you use the world cool?" I looked at him in disappointment.

"It was though.. She talked about her Grandfather King Uther purging England of their previous Dragon Rulers, King Arthur and the Round table." Paul explained.

"So what happened? I heard it got obliterated." I asked Paul.

"So in this tale of events Arthur had twins a Son and a Daughter, His son Mordred aligned himself with the Star Bane causing a cataclysmic explosion vaporising Britain in an instant," Paul explained.

"Star Eater?" I questioned.

"Ohh so during the Oblivion War their leader is called Calactus Star Bane apparently a God in his own right," Paul answered

"Wait so the shackled Oblivion isn't linked the Oblivion war?" I questioned a little confused.

"Not at all.... but it is going to be surprisingly easy to explain to you." He smiled, "So Gods created everything in this universe, now imagine the Gods as matter. Then the chained Oblivion would be Anti-matter a natural opposite to everything that is living and real." Paul began to explain, "Then you have Calactus Star Bane a God who wants to conquer and take over worlds and races. Well, that's that I interoperated from all the stories." Paul answered making it surprisingly simple to understand.

"Ohh I get it." I smiled.

"Feeling better?" He asked me sincerely.

"A little.." I answered thinking about it still feeling a little guilty.

"Well.. If you want my opinion.. You did the right thing.. Just you know, look out for yourself first." He said making me feel a little better.

"Paul how did you adjust to this world?" I asked him honestly.

"It took a little time small baby steps and not throwing myself in harm's way unnecessarily. Emilia I know you want to save everyone, but sometimes it's just not possible." Paul tried to explain to me.

"I'll try.." I answered him.

"When you get stronger you can save more lives.. As long as you do your best." He smiled as a group of students walked past us noticing we were holding hands and scurried away gossiping.

"Urghh.. The one thing I hate about this place, the needless petty gossip." I sighed letting go of his hand causing him to laugh.

"You make it sound like there was no gossip back at home." He asked.

"There was but this is different." I tried to explain to him.

"I'm sorry.. It's only because of my status that there's any involving you." He apologised to me.