The name is Khalid Hadid, I can't say that I live a hard life if I would put it compare to others I think that I would be able to find many others had it worse than me but that does not mean that I had it easy, for an example I was forced to live my life according to what my parents want I did not have any choice in the most of important decisions of my life and that was really suffocated experience, for example to how women would be treated in our society I was really conflicted because when I was in the school, they told us that we should care for women and respected them and I know it is kind of not really what women want, but it is still better than what is going on right now, and for our faith, a lot of people do not talk about it unless it is convenient to them but if it was not like that you would not hear anything from them and because of that and my family forcing me to choose this the moment that I was born I just could not have to go with something that I did not even think or do some research about.
I won't say my parents were bad they were good actually but because of where we lived they did not think much about the things that they forced on me, because of all that I was waiting for the moment that I could live on my own.
I was fascinating by the western media and I would always watch it all time when I ever get the chance to do it and my parents would not stop me from watching it, it was because that I think they got too old when they had me I am youngest one of my family and we are family of eight so I think that just did not care enough to watch what I am doing, I wanted to live when you have the freedom to speak your mind of course without hurting anyone and treat everyone like they should be treated not because of their age, I just hated that I should respect an old guy just because that he or she is older then me it was a dumb thing to do what if they should not be respected why should I do that and it is not like I want anyone to respect me when I am going to get old, also I loved that women can do what they want without asking any permission and a lot of other stuff like gays right and people like them, the more that I see how different their lives are compare to ours the more I wanted to go to live there.
When I got older and I interacted with a lot of people from there and watch some videos I discover that some people wanted to take away everything amazing about their society and wanted to go back to when things were not great at all and even more than that these people hate people like me thinking that if I given the chance I would blow myself up or something like that so in the end in the west there is people like the people live near me but still I can't see a way where they would be able to win over people to go back to a time where it was bad for the most.
One of the things that I hate about myself is the way that I over-worry about simple stuff that does not even need me to even think about it and sometimes I do it for things that I do not have anything to do with it because of that sometimes I overthink stuff and mess doing things that would be good for me.
I was an average person in general but sometimes I was a bit of a coward I did not like to put myself in harm's way, and I do not know why I would do the best I could so I would not trouble anyone else.
My life went by without me putting myself in any trouble and when I was able to move out from my family house I did it without a second thought and I did visit them from time to time whenever I could, because of the people around me and the media that I watch I could not believe there is a God that would let things like this to happen I tried to look if there any explanation to any of this and even ask some people that supposedly studied this type of subject but no one would able to answer me indirect way and they would say that 'it is all in God's plan and we should not ask any question about it'
Here I am twenty-five years old dying because of someone thinking that they are doing God's work so, in the end, God was screwing me over all the time from the moment I was born until I gasping for air.
If I was able to change something about my life I would want to live in a place where you do not need any religion and can do whatever they want to do without endangering anyone else.