My name is Nate Nirdwick and I had a great life and to why you ask I am sure that it is because of my wife I loved her every moment with her was great from the first time that I saw her to when I propose to her and when she gave birth to my kids every moment was a blessing to me.

as for my children, they were great but they did not get top what I want but still compare to the others other's kids they are great

my grandchildren, at first I didn't think that I would care about someone else besides Jeana but just after I saw, I just couldn't wait to meet them over and over again.

If anyone asks how is my life I would just say great and why wouldn't be, in my whole life there were not that many things that I regretted, but there was one thing that just kept on my mind and it was what would happen to me after I die, that question kept haunting me since I was ten years old when my grandpa died and I asked my mother about what happened to him and she told me that he went to a better place, I didn't understand what she meant by that, but I looked at her face I thought it would be a good idea not to say anything since she wasn't herself she looked tired she cried for hours and she was not able to do anything on her own.

Now here I am at my death bed after a long fight, after years of fighting I just don't have any strength, I did not want to live more years like this on the bed and I did not want to be a burden on my kids and wife so I asked them to let me go.

when I told them I wanted them to do, and like I thought they were against it they would tell me that I have a lot to live for like to see my grandchildren all grown up and be with Jeana to travel all around the world, I know that but I just couldn't imagine that I would be able to beat it at all, they argued with me for a week but I didn't change my mind at all, so they went after Jeana saying that maybe she could talk me out of it.

I do not know what she told them but after the conversation, they had stopped, since my days were almost over I thought it would be a good idea to walk around our house with Jeana I walked with her slowly, in the middle of our walk she started to cry and I approached her and just hugged since I was not able to think of anything to comfort her maybe I should do something else maybe I should told her that I loved or anything else but at that moment I just could not think of anything and just hugged her.

After that day my strength began to fade little by little I was not able to do anything but lay down on the bed until the final moment that I couldn't even open my eyes and I was able to hear what is going on, one of my grandchildren came to talk with me her name was Janet and saw that I was responsive she yelled thinking that I died and so everyone to where I was talking crying.

In the end, there were a lot of things that I wished I did differently one of them was I had a friend and because of me he got a lot of trouble if I just said something then he would not need to punished for something that he did not do I tried to contact him from time to time but at the last moment I just chickened out.

At the last moment, that question came back what would happen to me, what will happen to me after I died.