After a few minutes, Lubenica started talking. She did not know if it was because of the scene or the comfortableness they were currently experiencing but this made her pour her worries at this moment.
"You know, I've been thinking of a lot of things these past few days…" She started saying as Sae by now sat beside her with his hands behind him as he leaned back while he continued staring at the scenery.
He knew she was most likely talking to herself so he did not say anything throughout their conversation but merely said "hmm…" occasionally to indicate he was listening.
"We are not getting any younger yet unlike you and some of our batch mates… you already have plans for the future. It's like you… they can already achieve and picture out what they want to be in the near future yet I…"
She hugged her knees tighter as a few tears fell from her eyes yet she continued to stare straight ahead and talked.
"I… I don't even know what I want to do yet nor do I know what I want to be in the future. I'm just living at this moment… at the present without thinking about my future. But seeing these people with their goals set made me insecure and scared." She continued saying as a distant chirp of a bird was heard.
"I'm feeling so scared and insecure to be left behind… yet I don't know what I actually what to do. I want to give my mom the life she truly deserves for all the sacrifices she did for me and my sibling yet I can't…"
"I can only rely on her because I… I… I don't have the power or the standing in life to give her anything at all…"
She continued saying as more tears fell from her eyes. Her voice started cracking in between but she continued to pour her heart out as though a human in a dessert had finally found his oasis. And as though in a timely manner, a music from somewhere around them started playing.
♪ No matter how much I want to run away
Wishing so hard that I could fly away
It can't possibly be done
I can't simply run.
So many responsibilities I must do
Obligation I have for my family and myself too. ♪
She continued talking while Sae silently listened to her without interruption.
♪ Choices are given to me to decide
And I can't simply run and hide
This is what it means to be an adult
Taking responsibilities for my own decision and faults
I want to go back and become a child again
Everything was much more simple and easy then♪
The surrounding started to become more quiet as a few people stated going down the mountain.
♪ However, I can't go back to the past
Also, the truth is nothing ever lasts
So I just have to have faith in God
Even if I'm scared, tired, and sad
Everything will work out in the end
I'll have those happy wonderful days back again. ♪
Her fears and worries came flowing by. Sae continued to listen occasionally staring at her and at some point he took out his handkerchief and gave it to her which she took as she continued talking while wiping her tears. Her legs were now stretched out in front of her the same way as Sae's was.
[1] The title of the "song" for this chapter