Everyone had fallen asleep, even those meant to keep watch. It seemed that using their stomachs to digest the meal had taken all the energy they had left.
The only one left sitting on the deck of his carriage was Zhao Wei who was sitting with Panda on his lap and Myra next to him as the light from the campfire flickered and projected dancing figures on the walls.
A cup of mint leave tea was in his hand which he had sweetened with a few dried pulps of fruit.
Myra raised her head first as she sensed someone closing in. Zhao Wei turned towards the direction she was facing and was surprised to see the princess coming over.
"Couldn't sleep?" He asked.
The princess looked at him and nodded silently. He came forward to reach out his hand, which she took to climb up the carriage.
He poured some hot water into another cup as he made the tea for her. At first she refused to which he simply said, "I find that it allows me to relax a little."
Slowly she reached over and picked up the cup, "thank you" She said.
"No worries", he replied leaning against the railings.
She came over and leaned next to him. Purely by age she was older than him and by size even if she had legs she'd be a head taller. But as she stood next to him, she felt incomparably small.
He looked at her and could notice a distinct glow in her face that was previously overshadowed by her exhaustion, The dancing red lights reflected in her eyes.
"Not just for the drink, I meant for everything, the food as well" she continued, "Though some of them had chosen to join the other side, they're still my people, I believe their just afraid of the situation."
He stared at her for a while and asked, "Aren't you afraid as well?"
She bit her lips at the question, "No, it's different for them..."
"It's not that different", he interrupted, "fear is fear, whether you're a noble or a simple man from the street, fear makes no exceptions."
She looked at him as her mind ran through the line he just said, "Aren't you afraid?" This time she asked him.
"Yes, exceedingly so," he replied after some thought, "Some times I wake up in the middle of my sleep, haunted by nightmares of what is to come tomorrow, afraid that if I fail I might be failing more than just myself."
As he said those words, he looked up to the clear night sky, the stars twinkled beautifully like he'd never seen in the old world. But in his head and in his heart, he only saw the black hair of that girl.
As Eyisha looked at Zhao Wei, she felt the pain in his voice resonate in her heart as she thought of her father, her brothers and especially her people. Tears began flowing down her cheeks as it stained the white railings, but she didn't hide it behind her sleeves like in front of her people, she let it flow down freely.
"Does the pain ever stop?... How do you stop the tears?...How...Do you keep going?" She asked him, her voice like the whisper of a crying child.
He considered what answer he should give for this but decided to give her his answer. "It doesn't, You don't and you just do." He said.
After a few seconds of silence he took a deep breathe. "The pain never stops... and I am reminded of it every second of my life ever since I've been thrown into this world." He straightened his back as he said those words, as his fingers clenched. At some point the fire had died down into several glowing coals. "For the tears, you let them wash over you, letting it out doesn't change our reality.... but, what else can we do in the face of such an unreasonable situation...."
"As long as you don't let them stop you it's fine for you to feel them...." he had reached out his hand to pat her head, tears had streamed down much faster as her body began to heave from the crying "As for moving forward, I find the best way when you don't know how is putting one foot infront of the other... though I guess for you it's one tail?"
He cracked a joke but as he turned to look at her she was stifling a full blown sob. But she couldn't take it anymore, she'd always held back, she felt guilty that she was feeling this way while all the others were having hard times as well.
She kept repressing the pain only she knew, and there was no one around with the same position that she could tell this too as the de facto leader now. But the person in front of her told her it was okay and heard her. And it was ok..
"Uwaaaaaah!" She let it all out as she held his shirt and cried on his chest. He just looked forward and patted her head.
Beside the carriage, Kitsi was hiding as she followed the princess, she'd known all along, but it was difficult for her to be in that position without overreaching from her duties.
Her hands clutched her own clothes at her chest as it somehow hurt. Before when she was told about the world she had cried from frustration. She was a soldier who had gone through many battlefields and it had broken her will in that moment.
The sheltered princess who hadn't gone through hardships probably felt worse than her. But she didn't allow herself to break, she couldn't in front of her even if she wanted to.
All of the warriors had awoken at some point, but they laid still in silence. Many of them had broken down along the way. And the little girl had walked up to them and brought them up. They've never tried to consider that among them, she was the youngest and had lost all her relatives.
They gritted their teeth out of powerlessness, even in this moment, as adults they couldn't do anything to help her besides letting her have this moment to cry her heart out.
Even those who had chosen the different faction couldn't help but sigh silently. They had chosen the other side because they felt like the other side had a whole group of wealthy and connected adults while on the royals side only this small girl was left.
They had chosen to take care of themselves, but she was doing her best to take on all their burdens. They couldn't help but curse their own characters.