I lied. I've always lied even of my own existence. I've never had a chance to even express myself using my own words.
I never had a chance to even walk on my own – never had a chance to choose my own path; just like a fish being pushed by the tide of its devastating current.
This is my story of how I struggled to gain my own freedom and of how I turned against the tide of life.
Well now, please read my story. Read my life.
Agatha POV
"Well then, please try to finish this book within today. Tomorrow, we shall try to answer a set of questions regarding the novel. That is all for today, milady," quietly, Professor Edwin stood up, gathered his books on his arms and carefully pushed back his glasses. Quietly, I curtsied as response to his gesture.
"I shall see you tomorrow, milady. Please have a good day." Professor Edwin said and then took his leave as the servants escorted him outside.
As the sound of a closing wooden door softly reverberated inside the four walls of the room, I slowly took my seat in the couch and turned my gaze towards the lattice window. Atop the side table lay the hardbound book Romeo and Juliet in gold cursive print amidst the royal blue background with the soft glow of the afternoon light dancing on its cover. Slowly, I rose and approached the veranda where the gentle breeze of wind met me, brushing strands of my dark hair.
Far away, I could hear the sound of a tolling bell, a sign that perhaps school has finished. The very thought made me shudder and quickly I turned around and headed for the door, grasping the door knob and slowly twisted it when suddenly sound of footsteps echo against the hall. Immediately, I turned around and headed for the chair and snatched the book on my lap, absent-mindedly opening it on any page.
The door creaked open and there was him standing on the doorway in his familiar midnight blue school uniform with the logo of a white dove and a strand of wheat pecked on its beak over his chest.
"How was your day, Agatha?"
Frozen, I tried to relax my hand over the page and did not raise my head to see him. Meanwhile, seeing me on that kind of state, he slowly walked towards me and took the nearest seat beside me.
"It seems that I disturbed you in your reading." He said as his hand covered mine, gently squeezing it into him. "I'm sorry," he softly said.
"When will you free me?" Those words suddenly break free from my lips that I found myself trembling.
"What do you mean, Agatha? Aren't you free already? Didn't your parents allowed you to live on your own now? Not blindly following them anymore?"
Immediately, I turned to him. "That's not what I-"
In a blink of an eye, he came closer towards, both hands gripping my shoulders thus, pressing me hard against the chair.
"Didn't I free you from them, Agatha? Or would you rather choose to live in the shadow of your parents?" he said with eyes that held coldness I have never seen before.
"K-Kite… Please let go…" Squinting my eyes shut, I moaned under his painful grip as he continues to tighten his grasp around mine.
"Remember this Agatha, you cannot live without me. If it weren't for me, you will still live that life of lie," he continued while tears start to form on the side of my eyes.
"K-Kite… let me... go…" I softly cried and slowly, his hands loosen and before I knew it, he pulled me up to his arms in a gentle embrace.
"I-I'm sorry, Agatha…" he softly whispered as his hands tenderly caress my back. "The thought of losing you – I just couldn't take it. After all, I promised you that we will be together. I just couldn't allow you to go… I just can't…"
Somehow, there was that awful pain pricking my chest as his trembling voice filled my ears – his pain that I never knew before slowly quake my heart that I could only bury my tear-damp face on his chest.
"I'm sorry, Kite… I won't leave you again."
Just like that, despite my words of not leaving him and he an assurance that won't leave me, oddly, heightened the loneliness spreading in my heart.
However, what can I do on my own?
Kite POV
Once more, I allowed my selfishness to corner her. Turning blind from the reality before me, I can only hold her in my arms as her lithe form tremble before me.
In her room brightened by the afternoon glow of the sun and under the vast blue sky, I was able to hold her. Yet, even as I was this close, I still couldn't fully grasp her heart.
'Aren't I enough to make you open your heart, Agatha?'
"Agatha, don't ever leave me or else… I'll die…"
Once more, I became too selfish for her own good.
"Promise me that, Agatha…"
Despite knowing that she will never have her own freedom, I knew her so well.
"I promise. I won't ever leave you…" she said and slowly, she turned her face wet with tears and with that smile on her ocean-blue eyes, she held my face and gently caresses my cheeks.
"Because without you – even my own freedom would be useless if you aren't by my side…I won't ever leave you…"
Despite those words, I couldn't simply ignore the happiness spreading in my chest – although her promise would mean a humongous price to pay.
Tristan POV
It hasn't been a while since I returned from Stanford Academy, just ten minutes late compared with Kite, who started getting home earlier nowadays. Despite his status at school as the council president, he was still able to perform his duties well and then return home always on time just he could be with Angelo or rather – Agatha.
She pretended to be a boy attending the all-boys school Stanford Academy as Angelo Silver to escape her relatives and hid for an awful good three years until Kite discovered her cover.
Thinking at it now, I couldn't stop myself from grinning and before I knew it, we already reached the Deluxe Mansion owned by Kite's family.
"Sir Night, we're finally here." Announced the footman then opened the door for me. Slowly, I rose up to my feet and descended the couch, my shoes crunching against the dried leaves on the ground.
"It's awfully cold despite the clear sky above," I murmured as I looked upon the bare maple trees that stood by the big, red-bricked wall mansion, its needle-like branches gently swayed with the chilly wind.
"Welcome back, Sir Night." Welcome Mr. Charles with the other maids as I made my way towards the entrance.
"Young Master Kite is already upstairs with Young Lady Agatha," Mr. Charles said as he took my school bag.
"Thank you, Mr. Charles. I'll head upstairs then." I said as I walked on the soft turf of blue carpet of the mansion, heading towards the staircase.
'Kite just couldn't wait to see her…'
Not long, I finally reached the top and headed straight to her room.
'They might be playing cards again.' I happily thought and was about to reach the knob.
"Agatha, don't ever leave me or else… I'll die…"
Once more, I became too selfish for her own good.
"Promise me that, Agatha…"
Kite's voice? What are they talking about? Quickly, I pulled back my hand moved closer to the door.
"I promise. I won't ever leave you…" Agatha answered in a somewhat trembling voice. "Because without you – even my own freedom would be useless if you aren't by my side…I won't ever leave you…"
I could only stand behind the door with my hands enclosed in a tight fist that I can feel the sharpness of my nails digging through my flesh however I wonder why I felt more pain in my chest.
Lips pressed on a thin line, I could only gripped on my own as her words echo in the room while her petite back trembled in his arms. Through the slight crack on the doorway, Kite could only show that kind of face to her – a Kite who is on his weakest and strongest – a man who used to despise people now had come to fall for her.
For ten years, I have never seen him show that kind of face until he met her.
However, I should be grateful now that he has her. I should be happy now. I should be except for this suffocating feeling in my chest.
'I shouldn't… I shouldn't…'
Then again, I couldn't just simply forget that smile she showed the first time I met her. Before him, it was I who found her.
Yes, I should be the one standing by her side. I should be the one holding her but I've chosen this path. I shouldn't regret my choice now.
After all, this is for Kite and for Agatha.
Though, in the depths of my heart, I've always wanted to undo my actions.
'If only I can turn back the hands of time…'
But all of these are just wishful thinking and I know won't be possible…
…Or so I thought.