"Beep… Beep… Beep" was the sound of food being scanned. "That would be 40RMB" he said with a fake smile and a forced jovial voice.
Mao Lu was inwardly screaming, his job as a sales assistant working at the tills of his local convenience store, was the worst.
He generally felt that every second was dragging to an impossibly long degree. If he was tired before he was even more tired now. His eyes kept drooping, and any minute he felt like he'd probably nod-off while talking to a customer.
"I knew I shouldn't have taken the early shift, but Li Qingwei was begging me to swap shifts with her. And she's pregnant there was no way I could have refused." Mao grumbled.
He had to resign himself to his fate.
Actually his entire life Mao Lu had had to resign himself to his fate.
He hadn't always lived like this. He'd had parents who were relatively wealthy. He'd lived his early years better than most kids, however his parents had always been very strict and were quite Conservative. They wouldn't allow him to hang around certain kids, they'd beat him if his grades were too low, they always expected him to be the best at everything and live the way they planned for him. They'd even arranged his marriage to a girl called Lee Heri who came from an extremely wealthy family.
He'd felt suffocated his entire life and it only got worse when he was 13 and discovered his sexuality.
The day he realised he liked men and was in love with his best friend, was the day he felt like the world ended. Knowing the clear cut traditional ideals of his parents and the values of society he'd understood at a young age that such things weren't easily accepted.
As a result he'd swallowed those feelings, and walked on eggshells[1] around his parents to hide it. It hadn't been easy but Mao Lu had been okay doing that, he didn't mind following the path his parents set for him, he'd actually been prepared to go through with it.
Well that was until his Father's business went bankrupt. His father had ran a successful restaurant chain that he'd created and developed himself from when he was in his 20's. Almost all of their families assets were in shares invested into the company.
Yet after a powerful competitor had come on the scene a series of unfortunate events had followed. Bad review after bad review. Extremely negative press, a nasty rumour about roach infestation in his produce, and the worst of all was when his father was arrested and business was halted due to suspicions of under the table dealings with the Mafia.. Of course the arrest had turned out unwarranted and the suspicions were untrue, but the damage had been done. The business his Father had spent his life developing took a complete nosedive. Soon there were no customers and share price dropped so low that his family simply had no more money anymore.
Perhaps if they'd invested in more assets like property or cars they would have been able to safely liquidate them to pay off the growing debts, but sadly his Father hadn't done that. Every last RMB/CNY they had, had been in the business and it went down the drain with the business. They quickly transformed from a wealthy family into a struggling one all by the time Mao Lu was 16. Then a year and half later that incident happened.
It was the day before High School graduation, Mao Lu could still remember coming home and seeing his Mother on the kitchen floor bleeding to death, his Father holding a knife with a crazed expression saying "let's all die together" as he ran at Mao Lu. The knife in his hand.
Luckily Mao Lu hadn't come home alone but had been with Zhao Detong and Fei Bing Bing. De Tong was a highschool champion at Wing Chun and easily restrained Mao's Dad.
They called the ambulance straight away but sadly his Mother still died and now his Father was in Prison facing a life sentence.
That's how Mao Lu had ended up like this, working 4 part time jobs, not really caring about life and just getting by everyday.
…
"Dingdonding" went the chime on the door as customers entered the store.
Mao Lu yawned and looked up, only to see Zhao Detong and Fei Bing Bing walking in, hand in hand.
Unlike the mess that she was yesterday, Fei Bing Bing was looking her usual gorgeous self, like a jade beauty straight from a novel.
Her brown eyes beamed and her pale cheeks were flushed a little pink.
Mao Lu couldn't help but focus on the silver ring on her finger that was decorated with pretty diamonds.
She raised up her hand into Mao's face. "Lu, I can't believe it, he really proposed!"
Mao Lu stared at the ring and at Bing Bing's happy smile, and he felt a plethora of feelings. One of them being jealousy, the other shame, and the other genuine happiness for her.
"Congratulations." he said softly.
"Thank you!" she squealed, jumping up and down.
Detong leaned on the cashier, he was wearing an expensive blue coat that was lined with with fur and decorated with blue sewn dragon on the cuffs. His black hair was neatly combed back and he looked devilishly handsome.
Mao Lu involuntarily felt his heart twinge.
"What time do you get off, let's all go and get a meal to eat. On me obviously."
Mao Lu glanced at Zhao Detong but then quickly looked away, he really didn't want to. These feelings that he'd been hiding for years were killing him right now. He thought he'd gotten over it, but obviously not.
"I'd love to." he said with a fake smile. Even though he was dead tired, he had to go and celebrate with them, his two best friends were getting married. "I finish in an hour."
-----
The soft jazz music played in the background amongst quiet chatter, the smell of rich foods and wine filled the air. Mao was very uncomfortable.
He hadn't expected them to take him to a classy restaurant like this, especially when he was still in his uniform, and he didn't even bother to shower this morning. Amongst the well groomed and well dressed customers he stuck out like a sore thumb.
"Cheers to our future!", Zhao Detong grinned as he put up his wine glass and clinked it with Bing Bing's and Mao's glasses.
"Congratulations, I'm really happy for the both of you." Mao Lu said robotically, he'd probably repeated this phrase like ten times.
"Are you okay Mao Lu?" Bing Bing asked, she could tell that his mood seemed pretty low.
"Just tired you know… And I guess a little jealous of you two… I can't help wondering when I'll find someone." he laughed, his tone bitter. Inwardly he began screaming. What was he saying, why did he say that??? He must be drunk, or was it because he was tired, his tongue was so loose tonight. He almost cried.
"Awww, don't worry Lu I'm sure you'll find a girl that's right for you soon enough!" Bing Bing chirped.
Zhao Detong looked pretty surprised, "I didn't realise you had such worries, in all the years I've known you you've never once brought up being lonely or anything about relationships. I didn't think you could have such worries."
Fei Bing Bing elbowed Detong savagely in the chest, "Don't be stupid, Mao Lu is human as well you idiot. Of course he has such desires."
"If you need any help I know a bunch of amazing girls that I can introduce you to Mao Lu . Just say the word and I will start the matchmaking ASAP!"
"No-no-no-no-no!" Mao Lu fiercely protested. "I don't need that. I'm not in a rush". There was no way he'd let Bing Bing send him on blind dates. Plus he wasn't into girls, it just wouldn't work out.
Even though he protested throughout the entire dinner Bing Bing kept bringing it up, it didn't help that Detong was constantly joining in and encouraging her.
"Are you sure?" Bing Bing pouted. "I think it'd be good for you to go out a little. It'd relieve your stress a bit."
"I'm not even in the financial position to even think about such a thing. So it's probably best to leave it for later."
"But when's later, that could be never."
"I-"
"Why don't you call that girl." Detong interrupted, "y'know the one you had that crush on in high-school , the mystery girl."
Mystery girl? Mao Lu was momentarily confused until he remembered the lie he'd told in high school. At the time Fei Bing Bing had caught him writing 'I love you, I love you, I love you' into his notebook.
Being who she was she immediately demanded an explanation. He couldn't say to her "I was thinking of your boyfriend when I wrote it." So instead he made up a girl that he'd seen around the area and pretended he had a crush on this imaginary girl.
It would have been fine if it ended there but Bing Bing had asked for an update of the situation every week, so he had had to make up a new story about the girl every week. In the end he said he'd gotten her number and she'd moved away.
Of course Zhao Detong found out about this story. And since Mao Lu refused to tell them her name they both called her the 'mystery girl'.
Mao Lu inwardly groaned. He just wished for this conversation to end.
Eventually he was able to get them off the topic and a few hours later they dropped him off home.
"You know," Detong announced before Mao Lu got out of the car. "You are going to be my Best Man right?" [2]
Mao Lu glanced at Detong and smiled weakly, "Of course."
"Awesome!"
"Sleep well Mao, bye bye" Bing Bing yelled and then he watched as they drove off in their Mercedes.
Life was hard.
[1] walking on eggshells, an expression meaning he had to be careful and cautious.
[2] I feel like it would be appropriate to listen to K. Will's song 'please don't' at this point. I was writing this and my gbf told me this song and scenario matched, and Omg, it was unintentional but it sooo does.