Inna gasped loudly as she whipped her head to face Raghnall. Disbelief and shock were written all over her face as she tried to come into terms with what Raghnall just said. She didn't personally know Aril but with how Raghnall talked about him, it felt as though she knew him well. And so, hearing about the news, tears just involuntarily formed and she couldn't help but feel her heart clench.
And when she saw that Raghnall was hiding his tears by covering his face with his hands, she couldn't help but give him a side hug as a form of comfort and support. She never saw Raghnall this torn up and hurt. And she never ever expected to see such a weak and fragile side of him.
So, she felt a deep wave of sympathy seeing one of the strongest figure in her mind crying and vulnerable in front of her.
Inna continued to softly pat his shoulder as Raghnall tried to control his sobbing. He tried his best to keep his noise at a minimum, only letting out little short sobs and sniffles. Then, when he felt that he could speak clearly again, he continued.
"H-he… I… I-it… it was m-my fault… I-I k-killed him... It w-was definitely m-my fault! He… I killed him… I was the one who killed him… If only I didn't--"
Inna gripped his shoulder hard as she glared at him with annoyance and concern in her eyes.
"No, it wasn't! Don't blame yourself when you had no choice! It was the--"
Before Inna could finish her outburst, Raghnall immediately cut her off with his own outburst.
"YES, IT WAS! I HAD a choice… I had the choice to stay with him and comfort him… talk to him… convince him… But I let my emotions get the better of me and just left him there all alone… In the back of my mind, I knew that I should be there with him through his darkest moment. But I wasn't…"
Inna grew more annoyed as she had both of Raghnall's shoulders in a tight grip. She shook him slightly as she tried to get through his head.
"It. Wasn't. Your. Fault. It was a natural reaction to want to get back at those assholes! And it's an understandable mistake for you to get controlled by your own emotions! Heck, I get controlled by my emotions almost every second of my life! But know this… IT. WASN'T. YOUR. FAULT. You weren't the cause of everything! It was those assholes who harmed him! It was those assholes who bullied him! You were just simply protecting him!"
Inna tried to convince Raghnall to change his mindset about the whole ordeal. She grabbed his hands and slowly peeled them off his face so that she could stare into his eyes. She wanted him to see her sincerity and seriousness as she spoke but when she peered at his eyes, she was taken aback from how unfocused and hazy they were.
"It's my fault… I know it is… You're only saying that because you weren't there… you didn't know everything… I… I WAS THE CAUSE OF EVERYTHING! If it wasn't for me leaving Aril alone to tell my father, then I would've been able to save Aril and he would've been still alive… if it wasn't for me enraging the bullies, they wouldn't have sought out revenge and Aril wouldn't have had his tongue cut and burned... if it wasn't for me teaching Aril, he wouldn't have been bullied… I… I was the cause… I killed him… I killed him… it was my fault…"
Inna growled in frustration as she sternly glared at him. She was about to give him a piece of her mind but Raghnall didn't give her a chance to speak.
"I… The moment I saw his… lifeless body… I knew I made a mistake… I tried to find it in me to look for a reason why he would do such a thing. I grew too used to him being able to endure every bad thing that happened to him that I somehow expected that he could rise from it again after a long time. But seeing his body… hanging… I… the shock I felt was… unimaginable. I tried to look for clues… Tried to find another reason that must've threw him finally over the edge..."
After a small sniffle, Raghnall gently wiped the tears that were slowly leaking as he continued to talk.
"And I found a letter that seemed to have dropped below his body. I picked it up, thinking it was something he must've written before he…u-uhhh… s-so I hurriedly read it. But it was a letter from the nobleman his family held a huge debt to. Well, actually, from the seal, it looked to be from a nobleman's but the handwriting in the letter seemed far too feminine to be one. So, I figured it must've been from his sister."
"In the letter, aside from the usual conversation between two siblings, it was written that his sister and the nobleman's son decided to wed together about a year ago. She hid it from him because she didn't want him to worry or deny their relationship. She knew how overprotective he was with her so she decided to do it without his knowledge. But she made sure to tell him how happy she was being together with her husband. Even the nobleman gave his blessing on their wedding, and he treated her with no discrimination nor prejudice despite her lowly status."
"Now she was pregnant but apparently her pregnancy is giving her complications. It was because the child she was carrying is feeding on her own energy far too much than a regular child. It was usually a sign that the child is immensely talented with magic. But, with his sister being a non-magic user, she had trouble keeping up with the intense demand for energy. So, because of that dire situation, she had to choose between keeping her baby by letting the child feed on her or saving herself by removing the child inside her early on. But then, she emphasized in the letter that the reason why she wrote to him was not because she wanted him to help her decide. No, she already decided to save the baby. The letter was simply used to inform him of her choice. She knew him well so she figured that he would obviously talk her out into choosing the baby. So, she ended the letter with a short goodbye and an apology, knowing that they could never be able to meet again."